I am posting a currently alive post marriage problematic case turning towards inevitable break. Husband, the boy: is my relation- son of brother in law. I write this being in side of boy/
He is B.com (Hons), MBA(HR) aged around 40 years, working in TCS , Gross Salary Rs.45000/-approx per month. He is very child like simple and friendly. Some one not intimate to him may get confused if he is immature or not. But he is not really so. His Father(M.sc Math aged 71+ years) is retired Sr Manager of a nationalized bank and now gets pension. He speaks very very less calm and quite without any spiral mind, deeply religious. It is very easy to cheat him. He loves music and is a good player of ‘Siter’ and performs in regular concerts without accepting and kind of payments. Mother (Msc Math aged 65+ years) is retired Teacher of Govt School and now gets pension. They have only one issue i.e the boy/husband under reference. The family is economically not affluent but higher middle class of first generation. Life style by choice very very simple. They own a small but decently arranged double storied house (in name of boy’s mother). They have no car, travel in public bus/Auto normally. No cook, they prepare there food own. An outsider aged woman is engaged morning to evening to perform house work other than cooking or occasionally cooking too.
The wife/ girl is Bsc(Bio),BEd aged aprox 35 years working in BD Memorial School, Kolkata. Salary not known may be Rs.10000/- per month around. After marriage we find she is very stylist and desires to be in focus. Her father as said is a Mining Engineer speaks in slum-style, retired from high post at Coal India, Nagpur now resides at Kolkata (a few kilometer apart from boy’s house) in a ownership good specious flat. The girl is more comfortable to speak in English than in Bebgali. Perhaps she can not read and write Bengali. Her mother is a house wife. They have another next very very smart and stylish daughter, stated to be Cosmetic Engineer working and stays at Bombay. They have no third child. The gentleman, the father of girl is by nature of talking high, rough and in habit to shout with filthy languages when ever he finds some issue. From outside we see they are economically affluent owning car and in habit to maintain high life style. Frequently visits restaurant. Almost every night takes dinner outside.
It was arranged marriage by parents. Bride and groom were selected from matrimonial internet website. After in house final talks, with parental consent and mainly for girl’s desire both boy and girl mixed together for about 1-2 months. Marriage Registration and social ritual of marriage , finally held in April 2016. In real and good sense there was no ‘Dowry’ .However parents of the girl gifted good number of house hold items and electronic gadgets to their daughter, which may be considered as normal gifts. They also gifted as usual a marriage gold ring and chain to the boy.
Unfortunately soon it was felt from both side that it was not a happy marriage.
After marriage on 4th morning ( i.e immediate morning after their first night together), the girl shouted at in anger and huge voice that her husband is powerless (Akshyam in Bengali} in gathering of so many relatives who come to attend marriage reception (‘Bouvat’ in Bengali) and over stayed. From their advocate I saw personally the girl’s hand written allegation where he in uncovered language mentioned that after marriage night she kept quite for one night as per hindu norms and there after from next night she desired to get love and satisfaction from husband who failed to do so.
After ward for months together her shouting on same issue is every day’s issue. The boy got embarrassed and continuously denied the allegation. While asked the boy replies that her demand of love is so infinite and her demand of act-style so that every time he can not act as per her wish & choice and many a time he fails. He is OK for one hour or so but not Ok for long hours in a night. He definitely gets exhausted thereafter.
However thereafter when the girl and her parents desired, the boy went from one Doctor to another for test and treatment just to satisfy the girl and her parents and to maintain peace. All doctors except last one, suggested no problem accept a bit low male hormone with the boy which is very common and should not cause any problem in married life. As preferred by parents of girl he was taken even to a ‘Tantrik’ too. How ever one doctor lastly wrote there is problem with the boy and the problem persisted before marriage. The boy denied but the girl kept the prescripttion with her and using it to make a case against the boy.
At the same time the girl continued shouting every day at in laws of not having good food , climate is hot etc etc In laws arranged AC only for her room. Newly married husband-wife exclusively stay in first floor and in laws proposed if desired they can stay separate independently, servant/cook all would be arranged at the cost of in laws. She refused stating that after outside work in school she will not be in position to look after family work. Most of the nights, she dragged her husband to outside restaurant for dinner. And in Sundays and holidays, lunches too are at outside. Travel by taxi only. On honey moon trip to Delhi and trip to sister at Bombay were by flight –stay, lunch and dinners at star hotel. The boy expressed to his parent that he is exhausted and could not afford the cost of all theses. The girl never did a single work in laws house , not offer a cup of tea any one .
Now the boy is afraid of her shouting and filthy language. She does not attract him. He tries to avoid her. Girl’s father also landed in the field and abuses the boy in very filthy language. The boy says ‘ seeing her mood and remembering her shouting face and abusing behavior, I do not know why my ‘power’ itself gets lost’. Doctor says he is afraid of to be nearest to wife.
Last in March 2017, one Sunday the father of the girl came locked the room and took away the girl/daughter shouting at the boy and her parents loudly in public threatening that they are going take action as per law alleging cruelty and cheating by groom suppressing boy’s inability to lead conjugal married life satisfying wife.
The boy and his father made a general dairy at Police Station narrating the fact that the girl left in laws’ house locking the room and keeping the key with them.
Giving information through their advocate on 01 May 2017 , the advocate, father and girl came, unlocked their room and took away all items giving signed statement of taking back all their items exhaustively. It was peaceful shifting. The boy out of his own wish returned the wedding ring and chain; he got from the parents of the girl.
The subsequently on behalf of girl’s side Advocate threatened that he is going to file a case of divorce showing ground of husband’s impotency and failure to lead conjugal life. He said in such case it is lengthy process to get divorce order and more over court will order for monthly alimony and housing for wife and certainly it would be at the end a blow to husband and his parents. And also threatened at first they will lodge complaint under 498 against boy and his parents.
Alternately the advocate proposed for an mutual amicable settlement and then with consent of both sides to submit before court a case of ‘nullity’ of marriage registration.
Provided :
i) One time and final compensation /reimbursement of marriage cost of Rs 5 lakhs
is paid by boy/husband side to girl/wife. However the entire amount would be paid in cash and nowhere to be mentioned or recorded.
ii) Payment of Rs.2 lakhs as reimbursement of legal cost to wife and this Rs.2 lakhs too would be paid in cash and nowhere to be mentioned or recorded.
iii)All the amount to be paid to the Advocate and he himself would transfer the due amount to wife
The advocate assures within six months the court will order nullity of marriage registration when both the parties would be free from wedding lock without any future liabilities. The boy would not pay any alimony.
Boys Side Approach:
In no way the girl would be taken back as daughter in law in the family. The issue of boy’s ‘power’ may be true or alibi but other fact is that the marriage was settled unknowingly between two families who are extremely at two end of socio-economic life style. Two persons from extreme different socio-economic life styles can not stay happily under one roof for whole life. So boy-side wants very quick breakage of wedding lock without any damage to any side and also without any future load like alimony.
From Boy side what we want:
1. We do not want any revengeful action to damage the girl
2. We want to settle the issue ie ‘Nullity’ of marriage registration without any payment to girl as compensation/reimbursement of marriage cost and legal cost as asked by their advocate . It is to be understood that marriage expenditures were there in both the sides.
3. However we are a little inclined to pay because we want soon to get rid of the girl who is from extremely opposite socio-economic life style we can not absorb her as house wife.
4. We want all payments, if to be paid’ should be recorded and not under the table. Their advocate said payment can not be recorded or shown in case of a mutual agreement and submission of ‘Nulity case’ before court. We doubt if it( ie record of payments) is true ? or Is it really demanded by the girl side ? More over cash transaction of huge amount 5-7 lakhs without record, we feel, is a crime as per IT Act
5. We want that ‘Nulity’ order from court should be free of any burden of alimony and housing to girl.
6. The girl when entered as house wife some traditional old costly family gold ornaments from mother-in-law and grand mother in law were gifted. We are keen to get back ONLY those traditional ornaments which bear a value system of the family being transmitted from one generation to next generation house wives in the family. The girl’s advocate advises nothing would be returned all those are ‘Streedhan”. We do not know what rule says.
We would happy to get advice from our forum members suggests
