chitra (software engineer) 22 January 2013
chitra (software engineer) 22 January 2013
JASWANT VIJAY AGNIHOTRI (AIR ARMY) 22 January 2013
woman who supports 498a is liable to be.....? u can take divorce.....this is india....dont think that u will win at last a long battle.....
? police will take bribe from both side....?
chitra (software engineer) 22 January 2013
kalyan (engineer) 23 January 2013
@chitra,
If you agreed for complaint police official will file cases on all family members of your husband and will put them behind bars a day at least. But, how are you going to be benefited by this action? Once they get bail, your life may go worse. You are a software engineer and you could earn for you and your child who is coming. Just file a divorce petition and get a legal seperation. concentrate on your job and your child health. In a year or two, your pains will come down and you can choose a new life as you are very young. Just quit from this hell make your life peaceful. god will be always with good people and never giveup them. good luck.
Harsh (Manager) 23 January 2013
good suggestion.
police dont do any counseling - husband should get a separate residence and live with his wife.
If he doesnt they file FIR.they dont care if the complaint is true or false, if the couple is happy or not.
dont listen to lawyers,police or even your parents. you know the truth they dont.
in today's world full of 498a b*tches, you can set an example. your complaint is not believable. if you feel there is no need of criminal case against your husband (whatever be his faults),then dont initiate the case, request IO to withdraw
your complaint/or not file chargesheet. forgive and may be forget.
you are financially independent.
live your own life. after 498a you will be doing it anyways, and in a worse way.
chitra (software engineer) 23 January 2013
Harsh (Manager) 23 January 2013
hi - you said your SIL didnt allow you to enter the bedroom, and you are also carrying his baby. and that they were hiding groceries. that you did all the work with no water and food. may be, may be not. with no water and food, you would collapse.. im not the person to judge, thats why i said difficult to believe as i am merely reading what you typed.
in any case, you will have to prove all your allegations in court. that wont be easy. so if you were really tortured, you should be ready to prove it.
second, he may very well have lied about his financial status - in every marriage one party lies about money. that is wrong but not a crime (the poorer side does it to impress the other side).
no girl marries with a 498a in mind that is true; but other forces behind her are aware of 498a and hence the chances of misuse of law.
what is the meaning of compromise?
like i said, you alone know the real facts so please be prudent in your steps. be it filing or withdrawing your 498a.
JASWANT VIJAY AGNIHOTRI (AIR ARMY) 23 January 2013
Dear chitra, i am saying my own story points-
i loved more my wife and lastly she alleged me badly when fulled by my in-laws, my divorce filed by me in sept 12 and delivery will be in feb13, ok.
while in police councelling also she tried to jail me and compromise singned to join again but later she called lawyers and tried to file case via court
but here after your full query read that u get away from ur husband because like u woman who cries for sympathy towards child and want rights to harash husband......let him free from u...i have seen also 498a wifes also and her bachlor brothers who is not getting married because of 498a is a prestige.
u first listened your parents why...not ur husband....u well know what marriege means....?
SASURAL is not a ekta kapoor serial in which u dream......reality is dangerious.
a piece of paper cant show trust but it can destroy ur relation....?
chitra (software engineer) 23 January 2013
Chitra, dont worry, dont lose hope. everything will be allright!!
First put some thought on whether you want your husband or not. If hez real bad there is no reason for you to stay with him. Go for MCD and settle the bl**dy case. If he has really money minded and tortured you for dowry. Go file 498a FIR.
But if you think you can still live with him and he is not that bad. File for RCR and maintenance for you and your kid. Dont give up. Fight hard and teach a bit of lesson to your husband that he should take care of his family.
However, whatever you do, a relation once broken is broken. Keeping in view of your kid and his future try to focus on resolving the ego clashes between you families. You are no dumb right. You are well educated and independent woman who can resolve issues. So dont give up. Finally you will get benefited. Here the only mantra is dont listen to any of your relatives and leave your ego behind. Its worth a shot.
Incase if it doesnt work out, go start new life. Try to wean your husband from your inlaws with your love and not with force or demands. You need patience to make it work.
chitra (software engineer) 23 January 2013
Harsh (Manager) 23 January 2013
Chitra, no it is not fair. both husband and wife have joint responsibilities these are implied in a marriage.
he may be not working because you are earning good money (this happens in a lot of families where the husband is irresponsible and doesnt take care of his family, poor wife is struggling to make ends meet). it happens in educated families also, sad but true. but i dont belv that is a reason to punish him by law.
other wrong things he did like torture etc. - agree he has to realize his wrongdoings and you should protect yourself and your baby.
so first DECIDE whether you want this marriage or not tats all.
if yes, try to make it work (u may hae already tried). you try as much as you can then you have to call it quits. you cant keep trying forever.
if you want him to live with you can try and convince, but no rcr or judge order will make him stay with you.
if he is not agreeing for MCD then he probably doesnt want to lose you (you would know better) or as u said may be he is money minded and wants earning wife/your salary.
all we can suggest is you do what is necessary and not what you wish. looking at your situation - divorce/separation or reunion, looks like both will test your patience. we never get what we want when we want.
Qn: If your father, mother, brother, cousin hits/tortures/abuses you or doesnt take care of you where he should have, would you send him to jail or call the police? Lot of children are deprived of a good upbringing by their parents but there are no laws.
Nobody approves such acts.
The moment anything wrong happens in a matrimonial home ....
Harsh (Manager) 24 January 2013
lastly 498a is a useless menace it doesnt serve any purpose even with real culprits.
A wife who is a victim of dowry harassment should for her own sake just part ways and lead a new life.
Punishing husband may be heroic, but I dont feel that it will change the society nor will it bring your years back.
So, rather than debating whether you want to file 498a or not, just think about whether to
stay or quit.
my humble suggn.