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Ambika (NA)     02 February 2011

Proposal from a girl

A friend of mine is facing divorce. I have just one specific question on behalf of her. 

In the counceling session her husband keeps on saying that he did not love her and she proposed to him. 

Both of them got married when they were 28 years old and are married now for 8 years. It was a love marriage. 

My frined is wondering if it would go against her that she proposed to her. She knows that both of them were in love  and because he loved her he accepted her proposal. Now why he is making this an issue in the councelling session. 

Please let me know if there willl be any adverse inference because she proposed to him, though I am aware there will not be, but just to recheck to convince her that not just I but others too think the same way. Or by any chance there is some different opinion/s?



Learning

 11 Replies


(Guest)

Even if he says so,I don't think his words will favor him.

If a marriage is done under force,the man(her husband) should have applied for its annulment within 6 months(Please verify from a lawyer if it's 6 months or 1 year within which annulment can be asked for)

How can he talk of duress or force after 8 yrs?.

Also there was no force from his parents,as it's a love marriage.Usually in forced marriages parents apply pressure to their child to marry.Here it's not that.

Let him say this.It'll make him sound funny and stupid.Then your friend can tell the mediator in front of him"Why did he not apply for annulment after 1 year even if I forced?Why is he raising this ground now?"

1 Like

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     03 February 2011

@ Author,

It is a 'psychological' pressure condition one party is playing upon the ‘reasonable’ psyche of another party. The matter that the marriage was performed as per couples 'personal religious beliefs' is what legally  matters than who proposed whom at such belated stage of post marriage blues these couples are adamantly (read innocently) playing upon in a “neutral environs” means cushy couch of mediator’s AC room away from hassle - tussle of a actual Court Room!.  Do real life experiment, bring them to actual court room settings and see both will forget who proposed to whom and will burp something else imprompto.


On the go, does below illustration make similar  sense (read as just an afterthought to buy time is tactics)?
Illustration: Husband files for divorce some 10 years back alleging theirs was a 'love marriage'. After 2 years of their bitter contest they somehow 'patch up'. What follows was that the husband brings back wife home. Well pretty soon after just few months she deserts him and now files for divorce and mentions in her plaint theirs was a 'arranged marriage'.

So what does all these lead to? POWER..... madam and who better to understand power than will that be you................

Reasoning:
It is simple scenario of buying time tactics by both or either party. It is difficult for some tweaky couples to part ways in ‘old marriages’ without parting that last mile ego which I call by the end of similar kind off divorce proceedings one party becomes philosopher and other party becomes paper :-|


Waise que. acha hai legal points isme toh hai hi nahi siva social masala gossips kay………

 

3 Like

Ambika (NA)     03 February 2011

Thank you so much Tajobsindia sir. Ah, social Masala....

Yes, it is similar to the case cited above by you, only contents are different. 

 

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     03 February 2011

That's the worst part of mediation.A drawback so to speak.

AC rooms and free coffee of mediation centres cannot heal a victim's wounds, who's already been broken because of attrocities.

Since there's no judge ka danda in mediation centres,offenders like husbands and their parents who have already tortured a woman enuf say wot ever lies they want abt the victim,as nobody will expose the same outside mediation centre.

they hide their real incomes to avoid giving rightful alimony/maintenance and cook up stories abt the victim as well,to gain mediator's sympathy.

And  you have to "COMPROMISE"  with such liars and pretenders in mediation centres.

WHY?

Because,if,due to any personal reasons,you cant fight the case to ask for your rights and to punish such people, such offenders go scot free after settlements,without learning lessons.

To summarize,

 

first compromise with cruel husband and inlaws,to maintain harmony

 

later compromise in mediation centres,again for harmony.


And let the offenders have their way,as always!

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     03 February 2011

if there willl be any adverse inference because she proposed to him

- ONE PROPOSED AND ANOTHER ACCEPTED - IN A MARRIAGE, IT IS MOST COMMON THING.

NOW THEY ARE EQUALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MARRIAGE HELD AT THAT TIME.

ANYWAY IT WILL NOT EFFECT OR INFLUENCE ON DIVORCE PROCEDURE.

ON THIS GROUND ALONE DIVORCE WILL NOT BE GRANTED. - IT IS CONFIRMED.

1 Like

PRNarayanan (Regional manager)     03 February 2011

GET THEM DIVORCED. There can not be any adverse inferences because it was a love marriage 8 years back  [meaning mutual proposal in accepstance otherwise it can not be a love marriage]

Ambika (NA)     03 February 2011

P Narayanan sir,

Love marriage was in the past.....now it is hate marriage 

How can I get them divorced sir? The case is in the court , husband is saying from the day one wife was mental and cruel..he was poor and wife was rich and in the same breath wife wanted to gulp his money...it is all confusing and in a perverse sense hilarious! He says she proposed? so what? does it matter who proposes whom? He says from day one he did not love her. from day one she abused her in laws and from day one she used filthy language....so much for love...where is the question of mutual divorce? This woman has one child too, and he says since the child was born she tortured the child....oh! these divorce petitions....

You think all love marriages end in mutual divorce with beautiful understanding? 

Ambika (NA)     03 February 2011

otherwise there would be adverse inference if a girl proposes a boy? Come on sir... I think Tajjobsindia sir had given a reply which would be of much help to her.

Jamai Of Law (propra)     03 February 2011

Seems that husband filed divorce petition...and levelled all possible allegation to ensure he projects a very grim and pathetic scenario, state of current marriage which he wants call it off.

 

This is a very general tactics that make thousand allegations make opponent agitated and keep other party giving all reasons and explanations (its like throwing thoudsand arrows at a time...with a intension that atleat one would hit ..or at least other party gets hurt/exhausted!!!.......This is embittering tactics...)

 

Find out the 'mutually destructive/self-contradicting statements in the petition)

If he wasn't in loe why did he marry?

If he wasn't in love how come progeny?

8 years of marriage... long delay to complain........

 

Deflate the momemntum/force in the allegations. Burden is on him to prove allegations...but other party has to neatly deny allegations line by line atleast...

There would be delaying tactics...sustain those patiently....ane don't turn blind eye to rights of kid and wife........don't bulge under pressure to concede for mutual consent......

 

If wife refuses to give-in/doesn't buckle under pressure and doesn't embitter more from her side..its almost impossible to win divorce for males....

 

What's the objective your your female friend? That's very important.

 

There are winning as well as foiling/defending strategies but work differently.

 

 

1 Like

PRNarayanan (Regional manager)     04 February 2011

Dear Sister Ambika ,

There is saying that  "MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN HEAVEN" whether love or arranged

 It was no doubt heaven untill the birth of a child , thereafter in Laws & Mother  became mad,cruel and so on is in soceity ,cases like this are innumerable ended  fatal.

i can understand your DESIRE to make them live together. Are you sure with love and affection ?

I know men wanting to Divorce is  viewed with eye brows raised.

All the allegations made  all are may be under ill advise certainly to achieve some other objectives.

Like another saying that " After all a women behind every thing" may be the reason for all the cause of this situation..

Primerly to avoid payment of compensation , licence to marry again.. One can not escape maintenance . 

There is only one remedy that is TIME may change and reverse Therefore allow time to cure the situation.

Prevent man from madeness before he become cruel. let the proceedings AVOID antognising , agitating the husband. let the lady be calm.

My mother used to say that lady's are brone to suffer pains patiently.   [for your info I am 73 +].

Try and help the lady and child to carry on with their  livelyhood through certain institutions.

I suggest,  Spend your time in these lines if at all you want help the lady. [ KARMA SASTRA IN KAIIYUGA]

 

2 Like

Ambika (NA)     04 February 2011

Thank you Naranyanan Sir. I appreciate your concern for this couple and I thank you on behalf of my friend also.


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