Should wife take permission from husband?

Originally posted by : Nandha
	@experts,   There is no legal separation between wife & husband, but wife stays away for husband for sometime and without the permission of husband attends regular classes for appearing govt. competitive exam at her hometown.   Later on, she wants to come back to husband, but only after completing the exam. But till that time she will visit husband on weekends.  Visitation rights Gaurdian and ward case :-)) Please advise on the following:   1) Can the husband stop her attending the classes?Does he has the right to change her decision which she has taken when not cohabiting with husband?  If husband agrees to her condition and if she passes the exam, her posting will be in her hometown and she will refuse to join husband later on.  Tie her to a pole using a dog belt.. :-) 2) If husband stops her going to classes, can she claim it as mental cruelty to her?  That means if you are successful in tying her to a pole with a dog belt, yes of course tying any person to a pole amounts to cruelty :-))  3) Even if wife stays away from husband, is she bound to take permission of husband for  appearing for exams which will keep her away from her matrimonial home. She should write a letter to you stating that Sir, I need permission to attend classes blah blah blah.. and CC to your dad, mom, and also the maid of the house.  After you people talk it out in a board meeting, then there will be raise of hands for votes, then if 3 vote in favor of she attending classes, she may go attend classes or else tie her to that pole. :-))  please advise thanks   Nanda

Nandha:

You dont have control on your wife, that's point No. 1.

Secondly, you dont seem to look at the future in a different light.  If she passes such exam, she will get a good job, earn good money, get social respect. and she is your wife!  What more do you want?

Instead of breaking your head about she has to ask permission from you blah blah blah..

You try to set things right by talking to her, for every small thing you come up to LCI?

Things like these are meant to be sorted out in a one on one fashion.  And you cannot take any legal steps WRT your wife not asking your permission to attend classes for competitve exams.  If you go to an police station, the police will laugh at you and send you back.

Things like this are needed to be handled in a more gentlemanly manner.

Stop vibrating for God's sake!

These are issues of mutual understanding.  We should not cogitate these issues from legal point of view.  Law is for the sake of arguments, and enforcing one's rights over other when the relationships are strained.  It does not help bring an understanding between conflicting parties.  Not every issue should be made a matter of right and obligation in family affairs.  Promoting peace, love and understanding in relationship is always better than talking of rights because the moment we say something is a matter of right, by that point of time itself relationship is strained a little bit.  Law is a last resort when rights cannot be enforced and one is suppressed beyond tolerable levels. It should not be used frivolously to demonstrate one's power of assertion over the other.  It is bad to even think of law and legal consequences in a normal situation because the very act of giving a thought to legal consequences means that the person in relationship is thinking in terms of "you and me" rather than "we and us".  Law does not codify the standards of behavior nor it dictates to people what right one can exercise in a given situation.  It only deals with what ought not to be rather than what ought to be.  What ought to be is a matter of mutual understanding.

Hussy cannot  control.  

She can go for exam, get employment whereever, whatever she likes. 

Restriction on her Liberty, or forcing her to do or not to do certain act amount to cruelty. It attract Domestiv Violence too. 

@all

thanks for valuable advices!

I believe its really good that she is doing something productive, rather than sitting idle.

You should support her and visit her whenever possible.

@nandha,
1.you need to chill man,
2.your wife too is a human being having goals and ambitions,
3. if you find foul play, keep documenting actions,but behave normal,keep discussing with her what are her goals and ambitions, these things get settled amicably,
experts adviced well....
4. all you need to give is time of few months.......wait n watch.....

I think this query is posted by the wife, where she want to dump her husband if she gets a job in her hometown....

^ ^ ^

Even if it is the wife who is posting the query, since it is a government job, and it is a rule that wife should stay where husband is residing, husband can always approach the concerned department for asking transfer of wife or will hold the department responsible for divorce, usually in such cases, wife will be transferred to the place where husband is staying, and this touring talkies will go on till the ver end of wife's service if husband keeps moving.  + no alimony to such wife who is working, and in return wife will have to pay husband alimony if husband is not having job.

yes she must move to the place where her husband is working.......otherwise she is gonna claim maintenance and will work also....sorry state for our judicary

@ all, wife should not marry if she thinks that it may cause disturbance in family life, i have read a editorial page in which 'cherry;; written that woman leaves her 2 children for her education and found by police after 1.6 months and court said it a cruelty by wife. she can not run away behind the education as ground.

to educatetion her, her parents are also responsible. all is that education should not be claimed in cruelty. if you think of a educated wife then u should find educated not educating self wife.

experience is better than knowledge. if husband follows the way like wife then what u will say......'pay maintenance'.....and to wife also....'Get maintenance'..

it encourages wife to dance Nude........? no control of husband.......?

how do you know that your wife is coaching for govt exams thus have you kept any detective to investigate or what 

from your query it is know that you have some problem of doubting your wife and that why she had hidden the fact of going to coaching and in future if any complications regarding marriage arise she can stabilise on her job without your mental cruelty 

if you understand and cooperate with her she may opt to work in you place 

Mr. K Mahesh..........I differ here, what if wife is hiding the facts and husband is try to ask her and she is not revealing the same ???

Who is at fault ?? Who is doubting ?? Who is not cooperating ?? Who is thinking abt her career then ??? 

@ all,

If she is so keen in getting govt. job, she should have tried it when she was at her home before marriage. She got married at the age of 31. What was she doing from the age of 19 to 31? Before marriage, she was not in a well paid private job just to ignore the govt job. If a wife is really interested to support the family, she can do that staying at husband's hometown where plenty of opporunities are available.

Husband also suggested her to do teacher training at his place and get a job, but she wants to appear for govt. exam only. And that exam is applicable for that state only. Since wife's place is a different state, it would be quite difficult to get transfer. 

@Nandha

Agree with you on your last post. Instead of forcing her to co-habit with you. Take the legal course and bend her ways in mutual benefit.

Trouble the trouble before if troubles you. Thats why intellects say "Fail fast". If you think wife is not fit for matrimonial duties, it is always better to take corrective steps as early as possible to avoid further headaches even if it is to fail, thats ok.

Once you take the legal route, she will fail and will fail badly. Let her go to hell because thats what she chose.