First in DV and 498 cases, remember, JO DARAA WO MARAA. So, take the attitude... F*@K her!
Now, there are many legal defenses in 498 and DV cases and you will get ample advise in this forum and I can see that you already have.
Regarding her coming to your home, threatening, forcing, etc., here is my advise: Get a rough-and-tough woman always available to help, from your neighborhood. Pay her in advance and promise more when time comes for her to act. When your wife comes to your home to do anything forcefully, call this woman, let her come and do whatever is necessary in self-defense, including chappal-pooja (a termed used on this forum by someone). You, yourself, should not do anything. Problem solved. Can you do this? But remember that this woman can do something only in self-defense. I am not advocating anything else here but the minimum force in self-defense which is usually enough to deter repeats.
I am not an advocate but have faced all this garbage myself. So buddy, calm down, get your mind cleared, think logically, and act like a fearless man. If not, the anxiety will cause you more losses than what the Courts will order!