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Courage2014 (Secretary)     24 November 2010

Can i Immigrate to Canada with my 6 yr old daughter w/o husb

My husband left me and my child for 1 year and 10 months. He says he is seeing someone for another relationship. I love him and dont want to divorce him. He tried to talk me into filing for mutual divorce. I think he doesnt have sufficient grounds to file the divorce on his own. I have been through a lot of emotional stress and trauma due to all this for the past two years now and wish to immigrate to another country say for eg. canada with my child and start a new life far from all of this. What are my options. Can i file for child custody without filing for divorce considering my husband left me and the child it will be two years in January, 2011. He has been paying an amount of 23000/- since the time he left every month for the child's expenses which i have saved in her account for her future. I work and take care of my daughter. I really need genuine advice on what i should do in my given circumstances.



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 5 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     24 November 2010

@ Author,

Actually yours is a very interesting query (atleast to me) !

1. Yes, if no Legal suits pending in between you two then you can migrate as per plans to anywhere in this tiny planet.


Reasoning
:

On parenting notes: Leave a forwarding address for your legal husband in case any legal suits needs to be filed in future (MCD or Custody) and for the simple reason to receive the maint. amount (23 K) for child credited into minor’s banking account.


Second reason being on present / future legal issues of your daughter i.e. when she attains 5 years age the legal guardian as per current framework in Indian Laws is her father (your current legal husband). 


Off the records: It is other matter that one sees such ideal query rarely when everything honky dory between parties, except emotional distance of parties clubbed with ideal rights of wife and child fulfillment even when there is no ‘demand’ from wife and child’s side but you are nevertheless not legally barred to pursue your next path in the absence of any pending legal suits in between you two since father deserted minus his own flush and blood except showing good conduct of payment (i.e. non legal demand). 

Viswanath (Student)     25 November 2010

when there is no suit pending against you, you can migrate anywhere.

but your going out may prove a good reason for the other side to apply for divorce on the ground of DESERTION.


(Guest)

Your husband is a very nice man and he has been discharging his duties by paying Rs.23000 for the child expenses. Madam, you say that you love him, then why not take the help of senior members of the family and your friends to bring him back.

I am sure that you will not find such people who honor there commitments. The Family courts are full of cases when the husbands are not paying even on the court orders.

As far as your question of taking your child to any other country, I agree with the advise given to you by Learned Profession Tajob.

Renuka Gupta ( Gender Researcher )     27 November 2010

Amicus, if you read the posting of SR, she has written that her husband is involved in extra marital relationship and quite serious about it  so much so that he has tried to talk her into Mutual Divorce option. Hence telling her about how nice her husband is would not mean much to her, though she may still be in love with her( so much more the pain and trauma). His paying money for the upkeep of child is a different matter altogether but that would not take away her emotional trauma. 

When her husband is decided about his relationship with the other woman, do you think senior members of the family can force him to be with her? Would she be able to accept a situation wherein her husband is physically with her and emotionally with the other woman? 

Emotional violence of this sort can't be washed off with payment of Rs 23,.000/- though it can't be denied that her is fulfilling one of his responsibilities towards his child--but it is not just money which a child would need. If child has the centre stage in any marriage, couples would learn to behave with dignity with each other, but that obviously is not the case with SR...

 

 


(Guest)

Dear Ms. Renuka,

I respect your sentiments and understand how much SR would have been hurt knowing that EMA of her husband. On one side it is good at least she came to know and based on the above she can chart her future course of action. The matrimonial issues should also be viewed from Practical side also. I do agree that the husband is at a fault in this case but we also need to understand at some stage the wife will need a husband and the daughter will need a father. Being the members of Legal family, it should be our duty to first try to save the marriage under any conditions. 

That is why i advised her for trying for reconcillation. 

In any case your views are very well accepted and if our society enters into a healthy debate in changing family dynamics, We all shall be able to save a lot of marriages.

Thanking you and Best Regards,

Amicus


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