Sarvesh Kumar Sharma Advocate (Advocacy) 22 September 2010

A kid was playing with his newly bought play train. After every turn was completed the kid stopped the train and shouted, Station aa gaya hai! Jis ULLU KE PATHEY ko utarna hai utar jaey! Then he let the train go on the round and stopped it again at the same place. He shouted, Station aa gaya hai! Jis ULLU KE PATHEY ko utarna hai utar jaey! And so it went for sometime. Everytime the train stopped the kid would scream the same sentence. His Dad, sitting near him, got a little worried about the kid using bad language. He took the train away from him and scolded the child, Don't talk like that!
The kid sat silently for sometime and Dad couldn't bear to see the sad innocent face. He returned the train back to him saying, Now son, don't talk like that again.

The kid started playing. The train took the same turn and stopped and the kid shouted, Station aa gaya hai! Jis ULLU KE PATHE ko utarna hai utar jaey! Pehley hee ek ULLU KE PATHEY ke waja se train aadha ghanta late ho gaee hai.........................................................

Bhartiya No. 1 (Nationalist) 23 September 2010

The full Break-Up of the Hindi word “ADALAT” is below,

A = “Aiiye” (Come)

DA = “Dijiye” (Give ur money)

LA = “Ladiye” ( Fight here)

T = “ Aur Tabah Ho Jaiye” ( And Get ruined)

So, decide before entering in to the “ADALAT”.

Sarvesh Kumar Sharma Advocate (Advocacy) 07 October 2010

Mahendra Titare - DRF babu

ka battae babu gadhe hasna nahi jant rahe.

ye hasna to insaano ki kala hot hai

fer bhains ke aage been bajne se kuch nahi hot raha.

par tum to ha aha aha ha kar has diye ho?

insaan ho! na pramanit ho gaya.

Sarvesh Kumar Sharma Advocate (Advocacy) 09 October 2010

Lawyers In Court

Recently reported in the *********** Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are 22 questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:

1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"

3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"

5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

6. "Did he kill you?"

7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

9. "How many times have you committed suicide?"

10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"

11. Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"

12. Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

13. Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
A: "I went to Europe, Sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"

14. Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by who's death was it terminated?"

15. Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"

16. Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

17. Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."

18. Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."

19. Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."

20. Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."

21. Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood."

22. Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere."

1 Like

Sarvesh Kumar Sharma Advocate (Advocacy) 09 October 2010

Height of double daring :
Girl to Mom : Mom I have started loving a boy.
Mom : What? And how old is he, what does he do?
Girl : he is 3 months old happily kicking in my stomach…:)

Sarvesh Kumar Sharma Advocate (Advocacy) 09 October 2010

Santa 100 ke note par likha number dial kar raha tha. Banta – Ye tum kya kar rahe ho? Santa – Yar me dekh raha hu ki Gandhiji to chale gaye par unka mobile kiske paas hai. ****************************************

1 Like

Sarvesh Kumar Sharma Advocate (Advocacy) 09 October 2010

Teacher: Stop! Never put ‘is’ after an “I”. Always put ‘am’ after an “I”.
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Sarvesh Kumar Sharma Advocate (Advocacy) 10 October 2010

Frustrations, Hasya Vyang, Love

Sarvesh Kumar Sharma Advocate (Advocacy) 11 October 2010

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other -- so now it's just a waiting game. (Bill Dwyer)

Sarvesh Kumar Sharma Advocate (Advocacy) 11 October 2010

Pappu ek party mein gaya aur waha usne 8 butter naan kha liye.

Kuch der baad toilet mein pet pakad ke ro raha tha bhagwan se request kar raha tha ki, “Hey bhagwan ya toh jaan nikal de ya naan nikal de!”

1 Like

Sarvesh Kumar Sharma Advocate (Advocacy) 11 October 2010

Ek chor amir aadmi ke ghar mein chori karne gaya. Tijori pe likha tha “Tijori ko todne ki jaroorat nahi hai, 452 number press karke sahmne vala lal batan dabao, tijori khul jayegi. Jaise hi batan daba alarm baja aur police aa gayi.”

Jate jate chor seth se bola: Aaj mera insaaniyat se vishwas uth gaya hai!

1 Like

Sarvesh Kumar Sharma Advocate (Advocacy) 11 October 2010

Wife: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye thay.

Husband: Kya bataoon, sab galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost… 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

1 Like

Bhartiya No. 1 (Nationalist) 12 October 2010

Ha Ha Ha Ha------

Oh God,

Great!!

Carpet Bombing of Jokes!!

(Guest)

Surendra Sharma ji, vaise to aap vakeelon wali uniform to hamesha pahne hi rahte hain so kabhi-kabhi court bhi chale jaaya karo aur joke books ke allawa kabhi-kabhi koi case bhi padh liya karo varna to sirf aap hi hanste rahenge parantu aapke client, yadi koi ho to, wo bechare to rote hi rahte honge... Ha.. ha.. haa...

Vaise aap me ye jokron wala talent bahut badhiya hai so is line me try keejiye shaayad aapka yahan kuchh ho jaaye.. Haa..ha..haa.....

(Guest)

LCI Admin., here is another member ADVOCATE (WITH UNIFORM) SARVESH K. SHARMA, who deserves your "i-pod", though he never gave even a single expert opinion in any of the legal forum here but he has all the qualities you like. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE. AND PLEASE SEND THE PINK COLOUR "i-pod".

Ha..ha..haaa.....

just smile

Mahendra Titare - DRF babu

Lawyers In Court

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