Accused in 498a
Nitish Parihar
(Querist) 07 June 2014
This query is : Resolved
Respected experts,
I am an official from a large commercial bank and married for 12 years. My marriage has always been troubled as frictions rose from the day of marriage owing to the other person's behaviour and her parents. I however kept on trying to pacify things as my parents were also not favourably behaving. Broadly, the other person's behaviour didn't change and she kept on raising one issue after another and all my efforts to bring in peace and normalcy in our relationship failed. My parents realised their mistake and did whatever good they could on their part along with the rest of my parental family but the other person kept on brewing hatred and maliciousness. Though there were moments of peace and love but they were always shortliving and ended my getting more and more frustrated. I came down from counselling her to begging her to praying her to beating myself in frustration. I begged for a child which was always denied on one pretext or another. I withstood for seeing another day when I will have a good life and a loving partner who never was. After a considerable time of 55 years, she relinquished and my son was born, bringing hope for a better life for me. But things got worse from there on. She became commanding and ill-mannered. My parents and myself were subjected to unreasonable humiliation and even social embarrassment. In between, my bank sent me on a foreign posting where I again hoped would change the course of our lives and bring in a better day. But that's where all hopes broke down. My efforts for conciliation were thrown and I was warned to police complaint in a foreign country if I were to touch her. I, that day, left her emotionally forever. Her parents also put the oil enough the in fire and finally, after coming back they went to damaging our social images. Friction turned into fights and further into physical fights. I asked for a divorce in an amicable manner for the good of our child but she retorted with a 498a case. Her parents used their police resources and I was arrested u/s 498a, 323, 507 and others without being put to women cell and got bail next day. Again the same day arrested again u/s 151 and was again made to spend another night in lock up. Got bail next day and staying away since then for more than last 4 months. My belongings were not given despite two petitions to the Police Authorities. Now being threatened of other outcomes if I done pay up as they demand. My 7 year old son, who I love so blindly is under complete control of the other person and says I'm dead for him. All the while treating her best to the extent I could financially and socially, I'm not even allowed to enter my own house and threatened day in and out. My parents are being threatened of being included in this under dowry cases despite my taking only three notional rupees during the process of marriage only out of respect for the other person's parents as I have always been against taking dowry. My laywer argues funnily by saying that I should pay up as they say else I may suffer heavily as the laws are only favouring women. I'm too much mentally distraught and disheartened. I want to give whatever I can for my son but this is too much of extortion. Please help. I may not have narrated everything here but need help...please.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 07 June 2014
1. i fail to understand what exactly so you want to know.
2. Since you have already got bail, nothing to worry now and acquittal after trial is matter of time now.
3. Do clarify why are you not entering your own home. Are you ousted from your own house?
4. It appears that no maintenance order is passed against you.
Nitish Parihar
(Querist) 07 June 2014
Sir, firstly many thanks for being kind to reply. I want to know how peacefully can I take divorce from her as I am not at all capable of any compromise now. I have made an offer to her that I'll buy her a house worth some 20 lacs and another 10 lacs in cash besides my earlier savings aggregating Rs. 5-6 lacs already in her possession. She's been demanding much much highera and threatening me of dire results. As a PSU employee earning Rs. 50000 net salary with perks aggregating another 20 lacs, I believe this is worth. All this I wanted to because my son is with her and would not come to me.
I am ousted because of the lawyer advised me that I risk other charges if I go there. Besides, she and her parents have threatened me so many times and even my two petitions given to police authorities were thrown in dust because of their police connections.
No maintenance order is passed as the chargesheet, though filed, the matter is yet to come to court as the court is closed for vacation.
I may not exactly know how to tell you but please bear with me.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 07 June 2014
1. Peaceful and expeditious divorce is possible only if both of you agree for mutual divorce whereby within six months marriage may be dissolved.
2. Getting out of the house was not mistake, it was suicidal. Do enter your own house. once 498A case is registered nothing worse can happen any more.
3. The advice of your current lawyer is not appearing to be proper. It is advisable if you take another lawyer's help.
4. Be a man and show courage expected from the male breed by entering your own house. The worst is over by now
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 07 June 2014
Agree with the advise of expert Devajyoti Barman ji.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 07 June 2014
Act as advised by Shri Barman.
[[ ***Red Rose, loved, pressed to heart, BURNT, as it was a red hot burning coal.
What you look at as rosy, may be fire to burn you.
You need another 10-20 years to learn this.
Guess who/ what is red rose???***]]]
forget , if u cant read in between the lines.
You can live life happily~separately~ without Divorce too. Enjoy that oneness!!Forget painful past. Divert your mind to Enlightenment/ superb perfect happiness...
Look at the happening as a mere Witness. Do not get involved.
ALL WILL GO AWAY.. & YOU WILL WIN. BE HAPPY.
YOU WERE NOT BORN TO SEE HER ONLY...
There are lot more better to do..
Nitish Parihar
(Querist) 08 June 2014
Respected Sirs, my apologies for some incorrect figures first...my perks in the form of leased house and reimbursement of expenses are 20 thousands a month in addition to my net salary of rs. 50000 a month. Here, I'd like to ask a few questions: the other person is also employed and earning about 14000 a month. What is the amount of settlement the court would order if the matter comes to divorce? Second, if it was a grave mistake to leave the house and if I decide to re-enter after a period of 4 and a half months, what precautions should I take including legal precautions? Can she be asked to relocate if I provide for another rented house? The other person is also threatening to include my parent's name as well in the litigation...can it be done now once the chargesheet is filed?
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 08 June 2014
1. She may be allowed maintenance but not much.
2.Lodge a complaint in Police before entering the house.
After submission of CS hardly anything can be done.
Nitish Parihar
(Querist) 08 June 2014
Sir, as the house in question is not my own, rather taken on lease by the bank, and the landlord has already given vacation notice...should I rather get my belongings with the court intervention and let the lease expire? I do not own any immovable property as of yet and have only agreed to buy her a flat in the joint names of myself and my minor son and cash about rs 10 lacs subject to overall settlement being upto 30 lacs. But her demands are just not ending and she's not agreeable despite all this being in addition to the sum she's already sitting on. Is it not justifiable as per courts?
ajay sethi
(Expert) 08 June 2014
1) 30 lakhs is a reasonable sum which you are willing to pay . if your wife rejects the offer refuse to pay her any penny . let 498A case proceed on merits .
2) let the lease expire . since you do not own any immoveable property she cannot claim any right to stay in said property .
3) however she may file claim for alternative accommodation if evicted from bank leased flat .
Nitish Parihar
(Querist) 09 June 2014
Respected experts, after two more discussions the other person has agreed to the flat costing 22 lacs and cash of 8 lacs. The flat has been agreed to be in mine and my minor son's joint names while she being the mother and natural guardian. The cash also would be in the name of my son in the form of a fixed deposit. This has been the broad agreement with both parties to finalise finer terms. In this connection, I'd like to safeguard my son's interests in case she remarries. May I request ways to ensure that whatever is being given for the benefit of my son stays so? Also, can I claim custody of my son if she remarries? Kindly help...
Nitish Parihar
(Querist) 09 June 2014
Also, how to go about keeping myself safe as to ensuring withdrawal of 498a before parting with flat/cash?
T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate
(Expert) 11 June 2014
I agree with the experts opinions and advises rendered.Nothing more to add.
Nitish Parihar
(Querist) 14 June 2014
Respected experts, despite the broad agreement reached the other person has back tracked and now demanding cash only. As I do not have resources to raise much of cash, I intend to decline and fight it out. Based on my salary and details mentioned earlier (rs 50000+ rs 20000 non-cash perks), how much the court would order as monthly maintenance and how could it be commuted? I at most may accept cash settlement of 20 lacs of which I've already given 5 lacs. Please advice.
Nitish Parihar
(Querist) 28 June 2014
Respected experts, my settlement proved shortlived and after subsequent efforts, we agreed for a house flat in cash costing Rs 22 lacs, money previously given staying with the other person. But no development even after this agreement too. In the meanwhile, faced with a new trouble as landlord of the leased house demanding possession whereas the other person who's living there refusing to vacate. My bsnk says I have to arrange vacation as it is not an interested party. I need my belongings too which are continuously being denied. Can I aproach court for my belongings and vacation? How fast can it be? Need advise as my offer for an alternative accommodation not being heard at all.
Nitish Parihar
(Querist) 03 August 2014
Respected Experts...after having finally settle my case for INR 22 lacs cash, I'm faced with the dilemma of how to secure anullment of charges imposed and filing of consentual divorce so that the money being given is not hijacked without fulfilling all these promises. Need your advice. Also,is there a way or citations to reduce the separation period as I've been living in separation already for more than last 2.5 years? Please help...please
