Should i pay child support without court order?
FathersAreHumanToo
(Querist) 26 October 2015
This query is : Resolved
Dear Experts,
It would be very helpful if someone can help me with the below queries.
I have a great 5 months old son.
The child's mother and I are married for almost 1.3yrs and are staying separated from past 3 months prior to that she was at her matrimonial home for delivery for 3 months, she has left the matrimonial house due her own wish (proof video recording)and as there are some things of past that was discovered by me after marriage /during he pregnancy and it was a HUGE deal as it involved FRAUD by the way of hiding facts about her Health (proof medical reports), Multiple Relationships before marriage (whatsapp chat now deleted by Her, But she had accepted that in person and also in front of my family members)and previous engagements (She herself accepted that but I have proof of one engagement which she told me before marriage, But second engagement she didn't tell me. Even after all this I have tried to reconcile the matter via emails but there doesn't seem any intention of her to return, neither she is ready to share the child's health report cards nor does she involve me in any vaccination dates nor in any appointment of dermatologist or Heart Specialist, She also clearly doesn't want my parents to even come to the hospital to see their grand child. She and the son live in same city as I live in. She did decide to leave just after finishing 1 year 24 Days of our marriage.
I wish to pay the child support on my own to my child, And will be keeping the records of payments via online account transfer to her account. Hence I have the below query.
1. What is the idle child support amount for 6 months old child? Also what is the idle % increase in support amount as child get older?
2. What is the idle way to pay for child support online /money order?
3. I was wondering if all my payments would be considered "gifts" by the court if she decided to get tradition child support with the help of courts.
If the above happens, Would I have to repay all the child support amount from the date she got separated from me with the child? That would be a financial nightmare.
SAINATH DEVALLA
(Expert) 26 October 2015
"I have a great 5 months old son".I am sorry for the way U addressed him,as he was born to U only."idle" I think it must be "ideal". U have to pay for the maintenance of the child at any cost and U cannot escape.If she is not a qualified lady she will certainly claim maintenance for herself too.
U have not clearly mentioned the reasons for her desertion.
Hiding her health problems before marriage amounts to suppression of material facts,U can proceed legally if U have her previous medical reports.U also mean to say she had earlier cancelled 2 engagements made,reasons for doing so?
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 27 October 2015
1. law has not fixed any amount as ideal child support amount. This depends on your income, life style and requirement of basic needs etc.
2. Through cheque sent by registered post, keep copy of the cheque and forwarding letter.
3. Your forwarding letter would clear your intention / purpose of sending money.
FathersAreHumanToo
(Querist) 27 October 2015
Dear Experts,
Thanks for your replies.
But my major concern still remains unanswered and would be very thankful if someone can answer it.
Paying child support without court order would it be considered "gifts" by the court?
@Sainath: Sir, Excuse me for typos and "I have a great 5 months old son" was a statement out of emotions and love that I have for my son and out of frustration that I am not being given a chance to even see his photos. May be it would have sounded in some different way but that was not the intention at all.
Reason of separation majorly due to following reasons:
1. Due to the fact that she is a BIG TIME liar and the lies (I have proof whatsapp chats) she told to me before engagement /marriage were uncovered by me post marriage and during the pregnancy and since then the relationship went down hill as she was her self not able to face the fact that her lies were uncovered. And after that there was no care, respect, love, emotional attachment and trust towards me from her end. Also since I was cheated for so many things, Once the lies were uncovered I use to always cross her answers (Loss of Trust)and to no surprise 80% answer were lies and made up story. Even after pointing her wrong she every time her lies was caught she thought that I am doing DADAGIRI by asking her cross questions and that I don't trust her anymore etc.
2. Her desertion was fully planned by her & her family (I have proof whatsapp chats) and since there is no one to earn bread for her family and to support them financially post her marriage, Also the married irresponsible bhaiyaaji is of NO use except living at the expenses of sisters salary.
3. There were a tell signs of cheating like late night whatsapp chat, media files were deleted when asked I could view it, fighting without any good reasons, which would but obvious results in ugly fights.
4. She knew that she would not be freely be able to cheat on me and I would constantly monitor her action on phone and chats. And this is something she was not ready to quit i.e chatting software's and social networking.
5. One of the Major reason: I know I cant prove in court of law (tough I have witness who were present when I was informed about this by our neighbor uncle who is blessed with powers of MAA DURGA) that someone from her own FAMILY had used Black Magic to turn my wife against me and make her to desert me .
Yes, She had her 2 earlier engagement called off because 1 guy was to possessive (Same As Me) and another guy ran away with his original girlfriend. (Point is her first partner also noted she was cheating him post engagement and hence started being possessive, And in all 3 relations including mine it always the guys that are at fault)
SAINATH DEVALLA
(Expert) 27 October 2015
"@Sainath: Sir, Excuse me for typos and "I have a great 5 months old son" was a statement out of emotions and love that I have for my son and out of frustration that I am not being given a chance to even see his photos. May be it would have sounded in some different way but that was not the intention at all"
But why are U so bothered regarding maintenance for Ur son?Whether both of U are living together or she is living separately with the child or divorced it is UR bonded legal duty to pay for UR son.
Guest
(Expert) 27 October 2015
For the purpose of maintenance, your son is your unquestionable liability till the age of his majority, provided your wife is not earning much more than your recurring income. That is irresopective of whether your son is made to live with your or not.
FathersAreHumanToo
(Querist) 28 October 2015
Dear Experts,
Thanks for your valuable inputs.
I am willing to give the child support amount as I truly love my son and would like share the equal responsibility in his upbringing.
But my question is "If I pay for child support without any court orders, In future can court term this amount as "Gifts" rather than maintenance". And would court ask me to pay all maintenance amount again from the date the order is issued?
Also can you please help me understand about my legal rights as a biological father of the child. Currently neither I am allowed to see my son nor does they send the photos of my son, I had requested multiple times to at least share the photos /videos and medical reports. But even that is not being shared. And i am too scared to visit her home as her family is very physically /Verbally abusive people and i have been already abused twice and even my mom & dad were physically abused at the hands of her family and i was also was given death threat F2F by her bhaiyaaji that "tu bahar nikalna tujhe maine dekhlunga" too which i had registered NC in the nearest police station and was advised to do counseling but there is no reply on counseling part as well from their side.
Guest
(Expert) 28 October 2015
Mr. Tasteful insults,
Your query, as per its nature, had already been resolved, but you have preferred to add additional stories with presumptions, like if and but, which are irrelevant. So at first, better decide, what is your real problem on which you want solution. Nobody can predict what will happen in future in any legal case. All depends on merits of the case from either side.
About your child's maintencnace, if you are so skeptical, better wait for orders from the court if your wife files a case for maintenance. The issue that you should be allowed or not depends solely on the wishes of your wife or on the court order, if you file a case on refusal of your wife to allow you to meet.
For your complaint with the police, you may better wait for the outcome of the police report.
