Wife left me.
Devanjan
(Querist) 09 September 2014
This query is : Resolved
Hi,
My wife has left me because she is no more in love with me and she went to her father's house and started her education. We got married because she was in hurry and after marriage she used to blame me for asking her to leave her career. She was the one who wanted the marriage to happen and I was the one who put only one condition that if she stays with me and starts her education all over again because she then had just completed 2 months of the graduation.
She agreed on her own will and got married and now with unnecessary issues she went to her fathers place and started with her education. I tried to convince her but it seems like she is all adament. She is even asking me to pay for her education and if I dont then she will file divorse.
I love her very much and tried a lot but she doesn't love me anymore and I'm very broken now.
I'm planning to go for Restitution of Conjugal Rights. Please share your ideas.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 09 September 2014
Repeated query, no reply.
http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/experts/Wife-left-me--495866.asp
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 09 September 2014
RCR is a right existing only on papers.
RCR application is often a tested tool to provoke wife to file criminal case of dowry demand against whole of family of husband.
case does not appear for dead end unless you are interested to spoil it.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 09 September 2014
repeated
http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/experts/Wife-left-me--495866.asp
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 09 September 2014
RCR IS USELESS.
yOU SHOULD NOT HAVE FALL IN LOVE, AND BREAK .
ONE MUST RISE IN LOVE, not fall in love..
Why you agree for quick emergency marriage o a STUDENT ??!!
YOUR MISTAKE..
NOW WAIT FOR 2-3 YEARS, KEEP QUITE, SUPPORT HER EDUCATION IF YOU REALLY LOVE HER.
To sacrify is Love...
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 09 September 2014
No reply against a repeated query at least from my side.
Devanjan
(Querist) 10 September 2014
Dears,
Since I cannot detail the whole story in here so I think I'm not able to make myself understood. But I'll give a try. Lets see.......
The girl desparately wanted the marriage to happen even when she knew that she is an undergraduate. I used to explain her that we need to wait until she completes her graduation but she was adament and I have two witnesses to prove it.(THOSE TWO WITNESSES HAVE SIGNED IN OUR MARRIAGE REGISTRATION FORM)
I had plans to travel onsite from my project to Belgium for 2.5 years and I wanted her to complete her education.
She didnot agree to this and wanted the marriage to happen because she was afraid of the fact that my parents who are against this relationship may one day separate us.
Since I was also not mentally prepared about marriage so I tried a lot ways to make her understand but all in vain. She started thinking that I was not serious about her. I was helpless so I gave her the happiness she desired and I also told her that she will have to complete her education staying with me as my wife in Chennai. I never used to give her household responsibilities so that she can study. I used to broom the house and 50% cooking as well.
Now,she realizes that it was her wrong decision. She should have completed her graduation in Kolkata and should not have gone for the marriage. Moreover she hates Chennai and loves Kolkata. She started picking up fights and used to blame me for everything. I did not force anything on her. I gave her the choice that if she is so desparate about marriage then she will have to stay with me and do her studies and career here in Chennai. People from all over India come here to study Engineering, Medical, Managements studies and lot more.
Please understand one thing that we started our relationship in distance. She was in Kolkata and I work in Infosys, Chennai. We never used to meet. Phone was the only media of conversation between us. Marriage to me is to stay together and live a life where you have your better half with you. It was not possible for me to stay away from her immediately after marriage. I'm also a human being and I want to see her by my side and that is the reason people get married. Otherwise what is the reason to go for marriage when you are forced to stay away.
She hates my mom and when I told her that my parents will come and stay with us after 6 months she picked up another fight and left the house on 20th August. She went Kolkata and started her education there without even informing me.
You have no idea how much it hurts when we see that someone we love doesn't understand our sentiments at all.
I'm ready to bear her education and everything she needs but she has to stay with me. I cant stay away from my wife. Thats the only and only thing which I demanded when she wanted to marry me.
Cant I have a right to put my ONE demand to her even. This is unfair. How can someone leave me and stay away from me when I'm ready to provide her education and all her wishes.
What If i never get a chance to go Kolkata. All the IT industries are mostly in SOUTH INDIA. I'm working in IT since 4.5 years now. She says that If i have to stay with her then:-
1. I'll not have objection for her staying in Kolkata for her graduation and later for job for as many years she wants
2. I'll allow her to do job of any TIMESHIFT she wants and in any city she desires
3. I'll have to come to Kolkata by any means to stay with her.
4. I'll have to make sure that I buy a new flat in Kolkata and pay EMI's and my parents should not stay with us.
With these conditions satisfied she will not divorse me. I dont see any love. Its all becoming rules and conditions.
My dad is a PARKINSONS patient who cannot talk, walk, eat, bath anything of his own. Chennai docors of MIOT hospitals have said that he will not live for more than 5-7 years. I have medical proof.
My mom was detected with cancer and got treated in TATA MEDICAL CENTER, KOlkata. She is taking a medicine which costs Rs300/tablet/day.
My parents are totally dependent on me and she is forcing me to leave them. I love my mom more that anyone. I'm what I'm because of my mom. She was a lecturer in POLITICAL SCIENCE and was working in GOVT college in Dhanbad. Now she is having CAncer and undergoing treatments..
I want to live a married life where me and my wife should manage our professional and personal life. By saying this what I mean is that we both should go to office and come back home in normal timeshifts so that we can spend time for each other as well. I love her and so I want her to understand this. But her priority in life is JOB first and then HUSBAND. With the HOSPITALITY MANAGEMENT what she is doing now gives her a job in NIGHT SHIFT in a big hotel like TAJ OR GRAND then I should not have objections. How will I agree on all these stupid conditions. These things clearly shows that she doesn't understand marriage at all.
PLEASE GIVE YOUR INPUTS BY JUDGING ALL FACTS.
Thnx,
Devanjan.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 10 September 2014
see councillor..
Anirudh
(Expert) 10 September 2014
Dear Devanjan,
There are only two things possible in situations of this kind.
(1) Divorce - which you do not want.
(2) Restitution of conjugal rights - you may get it through Court process - but it is very very difficult to implement in spite of Court order, unless the wife complies with such order. The court cannot compel her physically, except giving order.
I hope you do not have any children as yet.
When you say that there is no LOVE from her side and only money and rules and conditions, why don't you simply seek divorce on account of - cruelty.
Once you get divorce, you can get married to a girl in Chennai and try to live happily.
Without this, you do not have any solution. Simply repeating your emotional feelings, pains etc., the law will not help nor any experts in this LCI. You have to decide what action you want to take after knowing fully the outcome of these decisions.
Devanjan
(Querist) 10 September 2014
Dear Anirudh,
So pleased to get a considerable reply from you. Thank you so much for understanding me.
I want to say something....
I have loved her. I miss her. I did lot for her beyond my boundaries.
I want her to realize what wrong she has done to me but I know that happens only in movies. A girl like her is SELFISH and loves her own self interest and no one else.
I don't know how to prove the grounds of cruelty in court because I dont have any video capture of the fights we have had. But 3 days ago when we last talked to each other, I have full voice recordings of our conversation where she said "IF YOU WANT TO STAY WITH ME THEN":-
1. you'll not have objection for me staying in Kolkata for my graduation and later for job for as many years I want
2. you'll allow me to do job of any TIMESHIFT I want and in any city I desire
3. you'll have to come to Kolkata by any means to stay with me.
4. you'll have to make sure that you'll buy a new flat in Kolkata and pay EMI's and your parents should not stay with us.
ALL THESE HAVE BEEN RECORDED.
I tell you what exactly she did...
She needed a boyfriend as like her other friends. She was single. She saw me in my maternal sister's wedding last year MAY 2013 and got attracted. She made friendship with my own sister and enquired about me. She then got a chance to talk to me and expressed her love in 2 days meet. I told her that we should be friends and then talk of love. I'm a 27 years old guy and I know love cannot happen at sudden.
Initially, things were fine. I came to Chennai and she was in Kolkata. We used to talk over phones. I used to be at work from 9am to 5 pm when she use to call me 100 times because she was free. She was waiting for her 12th board results. Then after her results were out, she took admission in IIHM, a hotel management college in Kolkata. Things changed after that. She started avoiding me when she made new friends(most of them were guys). I saw these things and after some days I told her that I was feeling bad about her neglegance. She used to say sorry and I used to take it. Worst thing happened when one fine day I was working at office and I got a call from a PRIVATE NUMBER in my phone. I picked up the call and the guy on the phone started slangs and abuses and threatened me to forget her. I was shocked and I told her about this. I expected that she would understand how bad I felt and she would herself stop her interactions with guys because it was for sure some guy in her friend circle who did this. A friend can only know about me and get my number from her phone. So it was very clear. But, she did not mend her ways and kept her life as it was. Later on one fine day I saw a pic of her with one of her college friend(a guy), which was very closely posed. I got very angry and told her that I dont want to stay with her anymore. I was deeply hurt. She apologized to me and after some days I forgave her because I loved her so much.
Now when she talked about marriage, I directly said to her 100 times that "If you want marriage, I'll go for it but you have to promise me that you will stay with me and start your career from here in Chennai". She agreed to it and we got married on 23rd Sep 2013. On 25th Sep we came to Chennai.
After some days, she picked up fights and started blaming me for forcing her to leave her career in kolkata. I DID NOT FORCE HER. I just gave her the choice. It was her own decision and she cannot blame me at all. She started getting frustrated because in Chennai she started with ANIMATION COURSE in ARENA multimedia and left the study because she did not like it. Then she started working in a PLAY SCHOOL named EURO KIDZ and she left that job also. She then worked in KFC for 7 days and left that too because she did not want to work so hard.
One day she asked me to take her out to sea beach. I told her that we'll go in weekend because I have studies. I was looking for a job change. Now I got Job in COGNIZANT and I'm leaving Infosys.
She got pissed of and picked up fight with me. I folded my hands and requested her not to do it because I was very tired from OFfice. She tried to hang herself in the my presence. She broke the door locks also. I pulled her down and slapped her. That was the only time I raised my hands on her. She told her father that I beat her very often. I cant tell you as how many numerous times she threw her hands on me. I never complained to anyone.
Thats all......
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 10 September 2014
After going through your detailed facts, I am of the firm view that this is a fit case wherein there is no other option but to seek divorce from her. Married life cannot be run on the basis of conditions. Mutual faith and trust are the base of it and both these are totally missing in your case. You have plenty of the instances of cruelty of your wife for getting divorce from your wife.
Devanjan
(Querist) 15 September 2014
Dear Raj Kumar Sir,
After reading your comments I need to ask you as how shall I proceed and what evidances should I produce for showing the grounds of cruelty and desertion.
Please help me.
Regards,
Devanjan.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 15 September 2014
If wife refuses for sex to her husband it generally takes place, the same may be treated as a cruelty and this is the fit ground seeking divorce.
Engage a local lawyer and draft your petition and then file it after going through it deeply.
Devanjan
(Querist) 16 September 2014
Hi Mr Raj,
Sex was never an issue between us. Can I not go for the real resons and seek divorse. For example:-
I have full voice recordings of our telephonic conversation where she said "IF YOU WANT TO STAY WITH ME THEN":-
1. you'll not have objection for me staying in Kolkata for my graduation and later for job for as many years I want
(If I dont want my wife to stay away from me then how can she force me to agree on this? I'm ready to bear her education but only if she stays in chennai)
2. you'll allow me to do job of any TIMESHIFT I want and in any city I desire
(If my wife wants to go for a job in which she and I work in different shifts then how can it be possible for me to lead a happy married life if we cant spend time together staying in the same house?)
3. you'll have to come to Kolkata by any means to stay with me.
(when we got married I was already a 3 yrs working guy and she was not employed. If I dont get transfer to Kolkata now then how can I agree on staying apart from her?)
4. you'll have to make sure that you'll buy a new flat in Kolkata and pay EMI's and your parents should not stay with us.
(If I cannot support buying a new flat as of now then how can she force me on this? and moreover both my parents are old and dependent on me. Father is a neuro patient and mother suffering from Cancer)
ALL THESE HAVE BEEN RECORDED.
Please let me know are these reasons not a fit ground for divorse????
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 16 September 2014
All the above-noted instances if read together do constitute cruelty towards you hence you may definitely file a divorce petition against your wife.
