pls help... genuine 498a case
iniya
(Querist) 21 March 2011
This query is : Resolved
I got married a year back and got into joint family with inlaws. These are my problems:
1.From day 1 my husband dint show much of interest for both emotional or physical intimacy and that affected me a lot. Finally our marriage became consummate after 10 months. Btw whenever I tried asking my hubby for some private time or going out my MIL use to interfere and will ask to do things on my own and dont disturb him or try stick with him always. Moreover even if we go out my SIL will come with us. When I raised this issue my hubby felt as if it will displease his mom and sis if he spends time with me alone even at night.
2. Even though my parents were equally rich my MIL was of the opinoin like watever shridhan given was not up to the mark and not much to say. She indirectly suggested my hubby that its my responsiblity to sell off my jewels and a car gifted during our marriage for my SIL's marriage and further I need to arrange for business for my husband with help fo my dad. Pl note my inlaws are financially good and they could manage even without selling my jewels. Also my inlaws family itself is business family capable of financing my hubby for new venture.
at the peek of all when our marriage became finally consummate and hubby began showing little affection , my MIL droped another bomb saying she could have chosen better girl for my hubby and my obedient hubby started listening that too. and started maintaining his distance again.
one fine day, for some silly reason of lesser gift given for an auspicious occassion my MIL said our family disrespected them and throwed me out of the house and my hubby supported and stood by he saying he is going to divorce me. He also called my parents and informed them saying I ran away from home and dono where I went. They took my mobile before sending me out. I was on street without a penny.
The next day they filed a case against our family saying "threat for life". I had no other go than to complaint a 498a case and got a CSR copy alone. Requested the police for mediation and compromise and reconcilliation
My inlaws promised they are ready for compromise provided I withdrew my complaint before that. i did so infront of them (though police dint take my written statement and still kept the case open for safety till matters settle). On assumping i withdrew the case they never turned up for compromise as promised and instead presurrised to take action on my family for life threat petition given by them.
How do I handle it. Divorce or mutual consent is definetly not my choice. (that why they sent me out aiming for divorce)Can police help me in reuniting with my CSR. One of the reconcilliation terms I want is to go for couple counselling and psychothearpy as my hubby's mind is poised with thoughts said by my MIL. Pl help how to go about. I want to save my marriage. I dont want to leave that easy when they can just marry me for society (my SIL's marriage fixed after seeing the grandour of our marriage) and ditch me after they feel they can go for more prospective bride again.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 21 March 2011
If your in-laws are so dicey in their conduct as alleged by you then I do not think the matter would be so easy for reunion. Most importantly you have to bear in mind that if you want reconciliation of marriage then 498A case would definitely be not a step in the right direction.
However if you think right then you can lodge another fresh complaint on the basis of allegations of new acts of torture.
iniya
(Querist) 22 March 2011
No police compliant is definetly not my choice again. I gave once out of frustration and hopelessness but even when I gave it to police I requested them not to take any action against inlaws but to mediate in reunion if possible. But simultaneuosly they also gave 3 petitions. We are not bothered about it anyways. All I want is a good marriage life with my hubby. Even my parents and I appologiesed for going to police and tried compromise with elders of both family. But they should also try and come of compromise right instead of keep blaming and escaping. I just dono how to handle it, no police is not my choice again
Silabhadra Sastry Advocate
(Expert) 23 March 2011
You have not staited where are you stying now,with your Huby or parents.If you are staying with your parents then you can complaint before the Mahila(women Commission),Police or can file a suit in cvil court asking for restitution of your conjugal rights,and can also file a petition u/s 125 Criminal Procedure code asking for your interim maintainace by huby.Further you must know that in every district court they have open one mediation centere for matrimonial and other disputes,so you case can also be settled in court through mediation centere.But still I dont thin your huby will conumate with you again as he is totaly bioused.So it is said Ghee Agar Sidha Ungli se Na Nikle,yo ungli Tedha Karna Padta he.Then you have to be bold to take action against your inlaws when you feel they will not come for any settlement.
Tajobsindia
(Expert) 29 April 2011
@ Author
I have read all your three posts and now if you read your own three posts you will see they all are different and now I suggest you to read a link and decide what you want to do with your own life;
http://mynation.net/signsof498a.htm
iniya
(Querist) 29 April 2011
@tajobsindia. I read your link. I agree there are lots of anti 498a forum out there. But there are people who do genuinely suffer and feel like why did we born to suffer like this. See dispite his beatings, avoidance I still tell anyone and stayed in the house with smile only. But what can a girl do if pushed out of the house at mid of night. And mediation by relatives also failed.See if going to police is wrong then ok I accept I was wrong. To err is human. But till date no action taken upon my insist exceppt counselling between us. How can a girl fight her rights if she is just like that thrown out and are you saying I just need to wake out and give them divorce if they want. I gave too posts and in both I dont think any difference.I just needed remedy and someone should mediate on my behalf right. Thats what I was asking for guidance.
