OK here’s the petition my husband filed: (My defense is in green):
The petitioner (my husband) alleges the following (in short):
1. During our courtship the respondent told him that she wanted a separate house for two of them and the petitioner told the respondent that they would have to live with his parents after marriage , but will shift when he could afford a separate house.
The petitioner had spent considerable amount on the marriage.
70,000 on the upkeep of the respondent as before the marriage she had given up her job ,since she was desirous of starting her own business. The business never got started and all his money got wasted. Initially the respondent was agreeable with the idea of living with his parents.
first of all; It was my husband who’d mentioned that after the marriage we will live separately, because he doesn't get along with his father. Also because I am not a sindhi and he is, his parents didn't approve of me. His father is a known trouble maker. Especially when he gets drunk. I agreed to shift only if we shift somewhere close by, so that we could visit often. He hasn't given me any money before the wedding- I have proof of that.
He has only spent money during the wedding or hiring two cars, a room in a hotel or the night worth 8000 and clothes or his parents. My wedding ring and mangalsutra. My father spent all the money (we have bills) and we also bought clothes for his family and ring for him.
I was working till my engagement and quit for wedding preparation because I live in a city away from my hometown. I had worked non- stop for 10 years before that. I at least deserved a few month’s break. But just before the wedding , I took some freelance work again. [I have proof of that].
During this pre-marriage break, I thought it would be best if I use some free time working on my business idea. My husband thought businesses take 2-3 months… which is irrational. He was 31 yrs old then. Grown up enough to know better.
She does not know how to cook, clean. Doesn't wake up to make breakfast.
- My husband leaves for work at 7.30, and I have an sms from him stating ‘everyone loved the food’ [ which means that I did get up early enough to cook for him to take to the office. Plus, I write a food blog . it has pictures of me cooking and the foods I made.
- I suffered from tenosinusitis in my wrists, but in spite of the pain I worked, so much so that my husband complained of me smelling of food.
- All this while looking for a job that my husband wanted me to do; well paying, socially brag-able, and one that allows me to come home early [ in a city like Mumbai], and cook and clean again. It is difficult to find a tailor-made job. My husband started insulting me and hitting me. Nothing I did was good enough.
I wasn't clean enough, extremely untidy:
Not true.
One afternoon the respondent fought with the petitioner, and locked the room and took 4-5 brufin painkillers to kill herself.
Not true
Once, the respondent disrespected his father, who then asked the petitioner to leave the house within 15 days,
His father doesn't work, stays at home. He was drinking and started yelling at me for going to the neighbors to call the bhaji-wala sitting under the neighbor’s window. Upon returning, my father- in-law started yelling at me while the neighbour stood there. It was embarrassing, and he wouldn't listen to reason, so I said- ‘papaji, let’s not talk right now’. I didn't want the neighborhood to talk. He got upset and told me and my husband to leave.
Like I’d mentioned before, I wanted us to shift closer to his parent’s house so we could keep in touch.
He’s alleged that I have threatened him with committing suicide if he doesn't leave his parent’s house.
I have never done that. I HAVE sometimes mentioned that it’s becoming very difficult to survive and live in this inhuman treatment. But nothing more than that.
He has alleged that I am lazy and don’t do any housework.
I have had high fever and still gone out in the rain just so that I could get groceries to cook the food that he likes to eat. While he watched TV on the sofa. Even when I didn't have too much money, I borrowed it and bought clothes or him. (I have the bills and my statement shows my spending pattern clearly).
He says that he washes his own clothes
I don’t think there is anything wrong in that or feel bad about it. Almost everyone washes their own clothes in my family. But I still washed his. Even In his parent’s house , I washed their clothes, except or his father’s underwear. It was embarrassing. It had fecal marks on them. So his father got upset with that too and started washing his own clothes out of spite. I pleaded with him to let me wash them out of respect. But he was upset.
He states that he paid for my dental treatment worth 46,000.
He paid that, however, I paid it back in cash to him in installments.
He bought me a laptop.
All I needed a computer for was to make small work reports and check emails. I didn't ask him to buy it or I didn't demand it.
He got it for me after I found some emails from some women on his laptop. I wasn't even spying- He just let his account open. I thought it was mine till I saw the emails properly. I told him about it afterwards, on my own. I thought I was doing the right thing. But he turned on me.
He states that he had to cut his hair because I used to pull his long hair and beat him up.
HE is taller than me. I am weakened by my illness. He cut his hair because his hair was falling. If he was so sad about cutting his hair, how come he is giving a wide smile in the pictures he took at the barbershop?
He says that I broke his phone.
I didn't.
Trying to break his PS3 .
He didn't have any then.
He says he has been extremely depressed and traumatized throughout the duration of the marriage.
I have Facebook pictures and twitter entries showing him drinking, laughing, partying throughout this period. Can I ask for a psychological evaluation to prove that if he was in a happy state of mind.
He has accused me of adultery, using random names from my phone book.
My phone records prove that I don’t keep in touch with those people. Very rarely. One sms in 6 months maybe.
He has named some of his extremely troublesome friends to come and speak as witnesses.
I don’t know if they will come or not, but I don’t have any human witnesses. I only have documentation to prove my innocence.
He’s alleged many other things, but very few concrete allegations. However, I am extremely afraid because he has mentioned that- I threatened him with pro- women divorce laws. He seems to have covered everything.
I DID NOT THREATEN ANY SUCH THING. But he had once mentioned that if I do not give him a divorce mutually, he will say this and allege false charges.
He keeps mentioning his limited savings: his salary is 90,000p.m. out of which he pays 25,000 [max] towards bills etc. he has only recently started CLAIMING that he pays 20,000 to his parents. He still has about 45,000 remaining per month. He only has phone bills and petrol to pay for. Can’t he even save 10,000 – 15,000 p.m? and since so many office colleagues live in our area- can’t he car pool? I even offered to save my salary in a joint account if he paid my phone bills o 500 rs. P.m and for groceries. I earned about rs.25,000 p.m between June 2010 and Nov 2011. We got married in 2009 DEC. I even convinced him to pay off his credit card debts since he was incurring very high interest rates by paying minimum.
I have paid for everything in the rented house except or the fridge, AC and tv. All groceries, utensils, microwave, furnishings etc. he bought the big TV and fridge after selling my old ones.
My Questions:
As far as I know I haven’t implicated myself in any chat or sms. But maybe there could be one or two which I could have sent In anger? Is that enough to make me lose the case?
If I am medically unfit to work, can the court mandate me to work? I haven’t stepped out of the house for a year now. Should I get a psychiatrist involved?
Also if and when I do get better, and start working, will I stop getting maintenance from my husband in case of a divorce? The money does not matter as much as losing my husband does. Win or lose- I lose him anyway.
What if I refuse to give a divorce?
He’s filed a case of cruelty against me. That I [one person] was cruel to him and his family (three people]?
What are my chances?
I have medical records to show that I've been beaten by him. And that I have even been admitted in a hospital due to depression.
Can I ask for his bank and credit card statement? Does he NEED to provide it?
Can I ask for the evidentiary documents that my husband has submitted against me.
My summons is for 16th nov2012. What happens next?
What do I do. I am extremely depressed? Does a medical opinion makes my illness valid? It had started within the time frame of this marriage? Can I hold my husband responsible?
Is it possible to track through phone GPS where he’s been staying for the past three months?
I don’t want this marriage to end. He is my husband. If he promises in court to mend his ways, I want him to stay.
If he thinks that his true reasons are valid enough to leave me, then why are they not valid enough to be written in the petition? Why make up lies?
