Bhabhi not coming back after a son with good job

I joined this forum relatively recently and have spent a lot of time, going out of my way,  to help men fight frivolous DV and other such cases. Sometimes I even help them in writing legal briefs, providing judgments, etc. (through private communication). I do so despite the fact that I am not an advocate and have very little time to spare for such activities. 

However, your message is a total PUT OFF. First, you unabashedly admit: "they given a car and 2 lac dowry as mutual agreement." Then you say: "My bro used to have much love for her," If he had so much love for her, why ask for dowry and that too a non-trivial amount? Your father did not go for your brother;s marriage to his son because of astrology. Its the car and the 2 lac dowry that prompted him to go for it.

Neither your brother nor your family deserve any sympathy. And why did your Dad go with "Lions club members" to resolve a domestic dispute? Whom were they trying to impress?  And all this talk about her been dark and your family members been fair... Frankly, your message is very disgusting. Your family members may be fair but they certainly appear to be living in the dark ages. It is your culture that is "ugly" not hers. Her son would be better off been raised away from your family. This is one situation where it is your sister-in-law  who deserves our help and you and your brother should be put in jail for accepting dowries. YOU AND YOUR FAMILY SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOUR ACTS!  Men like your brother are the ones who make the legislature enact laws which  are then used against innocent men. I hope that your family have the decency to return the dowry immediately. If I only knew of your sister-in-law's location, I would treat her as my sister and help her with all legal expenses to put you, your brother and father in jail and let me then see how  Lions' club members are going to help... Go flush your face in a soiled toilet bowl... This physically handicapped woman is brave. I hope she puts your family through hell.

Really speaking U never really know about the real situation, I purely admit my dad's mistake.but the car and the cash what they given was never used by us, all were converted into jewels and returned back, even My bro gave the car back to them. also her dad explicitely told that the car is mainly for his daughter to go freely.without knowing the exact scenario don't go to conclusion. think u are still looking from top not from the ground situation of the village marriages. she used to tell directly that "U people are fair, I don't belong to this family, In a tour also she felt she don't want to join us.we never been a secret, even Lions club members sat with us all and came to the conclusion.even the OLD people in their town also heard all the matter and tried to convince her, she is not speaking to them also.She told bad things about our family to our relatives.

I know since she is a women and handicapped, everyone will blindly go support for her, but I trust on some one who will identify the Truth in this issue.

Also U don't have any rights to speak bad about me or My Family. I am not so Rude to speak about you in this open forum.

1.    Car and 2 L giving - taking as per mentioned facts be it in guise of some rural India 'mutual agreement' still points to 'taking' dowry if a case is filled by her - her side of family from rural India and cannot be pushed under some ‘rural India customary’ practice as Law is law everywhere the same in India.

2.    Only immunity as per facts of this thread is that she will be getting 'immunity' from prosecution if you - your family files DP Act case against her for 'giving' dowry. This Act is in existence since 1961 and her as well as your parents should have been aware of not to tell now that we were not aware of such prohibition in Law and or we never asked to give us dowry as some 'mutual agreement' or take a plea that we converted it into jewels and returned all of them back to her! Converting - returning back dowry are all covered under material facts if a case is filed and not of much concern in a forum discussion is also my view.  Also note any such return needs to be supported by inflow - outflow of bank statements furnishing further read with submitting list of received - returned items which needs to be signed by witnesses from both sides. If all these done during parties subsisting marriage then all such facts become material facts for a filed case by either side using Dowry Laws prosecution if any and not meant for to/fro forum discussions herein as no such case is filed by either side bare reading the query before me. Dowry mostly in such cases is 'given' to climb social ladder read with one spouse being handicapped which is material inference is also my view.

3.    Skin texture of parties is no ground for either to seek divorce or leave shared home as the case may then made out to be. Over emphasis of same in forum is also not required as no case made out.

4.    Since case of divorce is filed by your brother he has to wait for Court to decide on the same which normally takes years.

5.    Mutual consent divorce may have been an option provided both spouses amicably try to resolve their issues but I see such talks failing.

6.    Elders / Lions Club members can represent parties to come at some solution and they are not barred by Law.

7.    For child visitation / custody he has to use general laws of GWA Act and based on finding who among the two parents is fit for custody Court decided on permanent custody. It takes years to decide on child custody.

8.    If she is a working lady then she is not eligible for maintenance if a case for same is filed by her. However since child maintenance is co-extensive both natural parents are liable to contribute towards minor’s maintenance needs since the day child ordinary residence is changed is my view.

9.    The case filed by your brother is the solution and no other solution other than mutual consent is available for your brother.

[Last reply]

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

A dowry by any name, for any purpose, is still dowry and would stink as much. In today's day and age, it is a crime. PERIOD. And I do not believe that you people have given it back to her.  I will not be participating in any further discussion in your case but wanted to respond to your reply.  I hope that your brother's wife gets ALL her dowry back. If the information you have given is correct, I may try to have some NGO contact her so she is adequately represented and recovers all her losses, dowry and compensation for what you have subjected her to. 

This post is six months old. I wish I had seen this earlier. I do not know anything about Mr. Samir N (2HelpU). But I am familiar with Mr. Tajobsindia from his response to posts in this Forum. Generally he is aggressively  pro-male. I find him here different for a change. I do not know whether the events beginning from Delhi gang rape to prosecution  of Tarun Tejpal caused the metamorphosis.

Acceptance of dowry is a punishable offense  under law. But whether it is bad on absolute terms would depend on many things.

One may guess that dowry was taken as compensation for the acceptance of a dark handicapped girl. Any way I take you on your word and I do not want to assume things. Your brother was fair but your sister-in-law was dark. How dark was she? Was she jet black or just one or two shades less than your brother. Your brother was a lecturer in a Polytechnic. What was his qualification, a graduate engineer? Anyway your sister-in-law was an ME. She was at least as qualified as your brother.

Your brother carried his wife up and down the staircase. It appears to me that you lived as a joint family. How did you know that she was having an inferiority complex? She would not have expressed it to anyone . Was your mother also there in the house? How was she treating her daughter-in-law? If a dark handicapped girl comes home as daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law would not have been happy. Her feelings would have found expression in her words on and off. Even your female neighbors would not have been so innocent.

You say that she told her lawyer that she wanted to make enough money and come back. That is a good sign. Let your brother be in regular correspondence with her. They can also be talking to each other on phone. They can talk about their son. Your brother can make occasional visit to her place to see their son. He can also invite her with son to come to Bangalore when it is vacation for her college. I suspect that the parents and other close relatives on both sided are spoiling things. If husband and wife are left alone they will themselves solve their problems.

I am a very old person and I have seen much. If selfishness and greed are not there,  I believe all problems in this world are solvable. 

I am not able to see any connection between my own statements and the response of Mr. Gautam Kapoor. I made a statement regarding Mr. Tajobsindia. If at all I would like to see his response.

The remaining part of my post was my observation on the case narrated by Mr. Prabhu. He has not replied what I stated. Probably he has left. It is more than 6 months now.

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech] - Thank you sir for understanding such situation and giving good advice. now she got a job in municipality and working in a town near to my home town, but she left her son at her parents guidance. we tried to visit her home with lions club members and our counsellor. whether those people at good position,who will be of so much age and experience  will come just like that for the arguement ? they all understood our situation and went with my bro and dad to her home for peaceful decission. but she just closed the door and saying some bad words from inside to go off from her. she is telling that no one must come for discussion. she is telling to see at court. my parents always gives her much freedom not like neighbours who treat their daughter in law with more restrictions in our locality. since she gave birth to a child My dad told her to resign her job and come to sivakasi , so that my parents can be very helpful to her and also they can have their life with first golden grand son. My parents are still worrying a lot about their grandson whom they loved so much. you can ask any one in our home town about our family.

she become so cruel that, she told her lawer to get the case dragged. everytime she is giving vaidha. when it about to get completed she will transfer the case to some other court mentioning that she is handicapped...really frustrated with the court which done even ask about the case...its already 3 years of seperation. where we already have tried visiting her place to take a peaceful dession, which ended up with no results. if she is interested in living with my bro, let her give some expectations set, let my bro follow, she is not even speaking about it. if not interested with my bro let her release him.

she told her lawyer to drag the case as much years as possible, we spoke with her lawyer itself, he is telling that she is not at all interested in a family and want to drag the case for about 30 years. no one is there to help us.

Dont know what she have in her mind, no one is talking about this also with her, if we send some one she will use bad words and send them back. My bro is living alone in hell, he has not seen his son for more than 1 year. we can file a case to get his son seen atleast for a day in a week, but in our community we cannot take him without his mother.

we asked lawyers but all just coming back saying that stupid "Vaidha" so case has been postponed.Dont know how to track or get the issue resolved, she is living with her parents and her son happily, where my parents and my bro worring a lot.

when Me and my bro go out for any parties or functions. On seeing some small kids playing, he tell me that "My son also will be playing some where like this right" ? only I who is with him can understand his feelings.

my bro married her not on the dowry they give, thats only on the fact in astro that my bro has 2 wifes, means his first wife may die and he will marry a second wife, but the astro person told that if he marry a handicapped girl then it can be avoided, the dowry was told by them on the day on fixing when all my relations were there which surprised all of us. they mentioned that this is a tradition in their locality and we cannot deny that. you can ask their parents or her regarding this.Her Number : Annam:08220866618. please some one call her atleast and ask the decission. please

My contact is 8861303320, any one can call me for any doubts regarding the case if interested. I am open to give any truthful information regarding the case. I know the ground reality how she is thrilling us by residing inside a blanket called "Handicapped and GIRL"

My Only Expectation is "Please Help"

Neither was I Sir, when you talked about Metamorphosis - trying to making a connection with this post to the unsavoury incidents.If at all you would have only spoken solely on this case and refrained from making a statement on Metamorphosis.

@Prabhu - It is normal for the divorce case to be dragged by the parties. You can do 2 things.

1. Ask your lawyer to file a petition for speedy redressal for the case - Section 21B in The Hindu Marriage Act

2. If counter has not been filed,ask you lawyer to ask the judge to issue speaking orders, compelling them to file counter.

More 

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1) In my honest personal opinion , the case looks strong for the opposite side. The divorce case could well be transferred to their native place owing to the fact that she is handicapped, no matter she is working.

2) Your brother still has to pay maintenance to his son.

3) She can go ahead file a dowry/DV case on you later on.The proofs are loaded heavily on the opposite side.

Try harder to get out of this scenario on mutual grounds as you will only better know what pained her,making her to leave the house.

I am unable to find a reason for the behavior of your sister-in-law and her parents. Is there anything which you have not written about?  Is it that she herself does not want to meet her husband and other or is it that her parents are preventing her? Perhaps I may be able to help provided the puzzle is solved. Do you know anyone in her village? Can a third party, preferably one who is close to her family write to me on this case?

Probably the nearest city for you is Sivaganga or Madurai. There are NGO's who specialize in such marital problems. 

Mr. Gautham Kapoorr

Please see the response that I have got. Lawyers cannot understand human problems.

Thanks for replying Mr Gautam Kapoor and Dr.Ramani Sir. We have tried contacting her with all the big shots at their locality, some were telling much odd about their family and hasitating to help. when some people from Lions club or a hotel owner who is considered as a good advisor was sent to meet her, she told to shut up and see in the court. I have given her number. if you feel I'm missing some of the scenes you can directly ask her regarding the case. me and my family went to meet her at her office day before yesterday at the municipal office of kovilpatti. she was not there.she went home for leave.

We are still trying to get her back. if she willing she would have come, if not willing she would have given divorse.but she is planning some thing diffrently. she told her lawyer to get this dragged atleast for next 20 years. when the lions club members asked her that if some one ask about ur husband what will you tell ? for that she told My husband is working in a college and he will visit by sundays like that...

My fathers number is 09843610275. his name is Rajasankar. we are from a well known family at our home town.our name itself meant for more generous. so you can ask anyone about our family and my brother from anyone of our home town Sivakasi.

Some one please help me, we will never forget you at life time and we are always at our co-operation.

Thanks

Atleast let her come to some public place to speak openly, about her concerns before elders. so we can conclude.

My bor's son is getting grown without father, why is she not understanding that fact,