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Change of father's name

Page no : 2

Vibhu (Network Engineer)     10 April 2013

@Stanley - Do not make mockery of everything. You don't know the other person may be going through. Would request you to provide inputs only if you're able to resolve the query.

Best Regard,

Vibhu

stanley (Freedom)     10 April 2013

@ Vibhu

Yes i very well know what a biological father goes the trauma he faces  foregoing his rights , In a gender biased situtation custody is taken over by the mother . Maintanence is paid by the biological father . Mother remarries foster father wants claim over the kids as stated above . The trauma the kids go through have you ever thought about that. how disturbed they are . Mother who remarries carried out her work of hostile aggressive parenting wants foster father to be called papa ??

Now go through this and tell me does your conscience hurt you provided you have a conscience 

 

What is HAP?
Welcome
Hostile Aggressive Parenting or HAP is aserious form of child maltreatment and abuse, and is encountered in most high conflict child-custody disputes and is often used as a tool to align the child with one parent during litigation. 

A parent suffering from HAP will do their best to interfere with the relationship of a child with another person, usually the other parent or guardian. Such interferences could include using an older sibling to control the child, guilting the child into submission, not allowing telephone, email or any other communication between the child and the other person... read more 
Help stop the abuse
all children deserve to love, and not have to hide their love. 

children that come from a HAP parent often become depressed, sometimes suicidal. Help us spread the word and get help to these kids. We are open to suggestions to helping spread the word, below are some ideas: 

• are you a HAP victim? Write us
  your story.

• write an article and submit it
  to your local newspapers (& send
  us a copy too!)

• recommend going through
  this site: UpToParents.org
• Ask Oprah to do a show on HAP 
• Ask Dr. Phil to do a show on HAP 
• Ask your local religious leaders to
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• Send us a suggestion to share
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This site is dedicated to the children who are suffering under the hands of HAP parents. We strive to educate the public about this growing problem in hopes of getting help to the HAP parent, and to the suffering kids. HAP parents may not realize they have HAP. It's up to friends, family & the community to educate them and encourage them to seek help. 

Do you think you or anyone you know is suffering from HAP? Complete ourquestionaire to find out. 

Children should be allowed to love both parents, and feel loved by both parents. It is of utmost importance for both parents to encourage a relationship between the kids and the other parent. Standing together as parents is important in a marriage, but ironically, it is even more important in cases of divorce, separation or turmoil, and is a sign of great parenting! 
Is this someone you know?
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does this person: 

• badmouth a parent in front of the children and at every opportunity? 

• not answer the phone when the other parent calls? 

• convince the child that they should change their surname? 

• play on the children's feelings of guilt and sympathy? 

• use the child as a weapon against the other parent and family members? 

• order or manipulate the child to not answer the phone when it rings? 

• say that the child does not want to speak for to the other parent? 

• undermine the other parent by encouraging the child to defy the other parent 

read more 

 



Help us spread the word about HAP and get help to the kids who are suffering. 

 

This is it !! Hence my replies .

I fail to understand the fact arent you capable of producing babies of your own that you look out for a way of snatching anothers child :( . Why carry out legal kidnapping 

Vibhu (Network Engineer)     10 April 2013

@Stanley - There are many perspective to your and my thoughts and hence different interpretations. What has happened to you may be logical, but what about a woman who had been tortured by her husband and hence took the tough decision of separation. And what do you call a BIOLOGICAL father who does not care for his offsprings? Yes, It was the same case with me. I did not legally kidnap them. It was their mother's decision. I love the kids more than anyone else or as if they were mine. And I am not impotent, I can very well have kids too...

Best Regards,

Vibhu

Have a Heart Foundation (Sales & Mktng)     10 April 2013

Why do you want thename change?? are you aware of the psychological consequences your child may face in the latter part of his life...??? 

Child is likely to suffer identity crisis

Child is likely to lose his heritage, lineage.. the genealogy of the child will be lost.

up to what age the bilogical father has agreed to pay for child's education?? till 18 years ?? that could be due to court case.. if the biological father is ensured uniteruppted and uninterfered visitation rights and his bond with the child continues he may do lot more for the child,

The biological father is also a natural guardian of the child and he can challenge the name change and can file for stay.

Suppose if your present (divorcee) wife divorce's you tomorrow...  and remarries... will she change the child's name for the 3rd time ?? and so forth....

Let the child be brought up in an enviornment free from neglect, abuse and exploitation.

Child has rights to his root, lineage and heritage.. let the child grow up in a healthy enviornment to become a capable adult... he reserves his right to change his name and sirname when he becomes major.. (who knows child may also change his name or sirname that is given by you when grown up).  

Have a Heart Foundation (Sales & Mktng)     10 April 2013

The biological father is paying  for the (his) child and not for you.. you have NO rights to intrefere between a father and a  child. Your refusal to accept maintenance  has no value ...  

Vibhu (Network Engineer)     11 April 2013

@ Suresh - And how the hell do you know what environment is the child in? I have a question for you all identity saviours... What about the children born from surrogate mothers and Vicky donors? When the child gets to know about it, wouldn't he feel the same? Lord Krishna is mostly known with Yashoda and Nand whilst His biological father and mother were different.

And regarding to the other one, he is only paying for the fee, what about the other amenities? Fees is not the only thing. And refusal to accept anything is my wife's sole descision. He has never tried to meet the children after divorce, even after mentioning it in the papers. Has mentioned to bear all the educational liabilities, but has not paid anything other than fees just because he can avail tax benefit.

Best Regards,

Vibhu

Vibhu (Network Engineer)     11 April 2013

And has re-married too....

Best Regards,

Vibhu


(Guest)

You have no right legally or whatever. The child has and their bilogicall mother/father has "the right". Let the child attain some age and let him/her choose.

who are you in the first place to take a decision on the child? disgusting


The couple have taken divorce for whatever reasons they best known to eachother but who are you to break the bond with his/her biological father. what nonsense!!

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     11 April 2013

@ All other repliers engaged in futile discussions

It is not appreciated to pass free for all judgments on children and on foster-father in reference to @ First queriest started thread. Law is there for asked query.

He came to us seeking certain remedies, he just got that, beyond that it is nobody’s case and should not be engaged forever with once point of view.

@ First queriest

It is suggested to move on and to work on legal remedy that has been provided to you instead of getting yourself engaged in such feudal social issues. India is still a feudal society and such passing judgments will always pop up. In my opinion you have taken the right steps in re-marrying a divorcee with two children as there are not many people in society who show such courage.

No purpose will solve if you continue replying to each and every futile discussions.

Vibhu (Network Engineer)     11 April 2013

@ Tajobsindia - Please accept my sincere apologies. I understand your concern. This discussion is futile and worthless indeed.

Best Regards,

Vibhu


(Guest)

@Tajobs & Author

Before you term the opinions as feudalistic, please make us understand!!

god forbid though but what if tomorrow this couple[Author and his wife] separate for whatever reasons and the woman marries another man...what shld be the surname of the kid?

There shld be some logic and reason for what we ask!! right?

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     11 April 2013

Observation first:
Your logics and questions in reference to this query asked on behalf of all here is idiotic as I will now tell you why! Idiotic because you should ask questions which concern you not on behalf of all others here as all others can never give you authorization on registered Deed to ask questions on all their behalf in reference to query!

Now reply to your question asked to me reads like this:
Tomorrow has not come today first of all. Even if tomorrow has come today for you, her third husband is not here to ask the same like this second husband asked us some questions remedy.

Further if you want logics then Law is there on ‘surname change” so why you have objection to such Law, even if so tell Policy makers to amend such Laws. For want of short change are these two children yours that you are applying logics on their behalf I say for your such vague logics understanding be it so Law says “any act done in good faith on behalf of minor can be challenged further r/w child related orders are always subject to change under change of circumstances till they remain minor” and to challenge the same minor has to become party to it U/G of custodial natural guardian and not you or me nor this queriest nor future third husband and nor even biological father in reference to this query so what was your so called logic question before me now; are you not exceeding your brief in reference to context of queriest query?????

Surname logics question which you asked to me will remain same as what it is today or will change or may change and all dependent upon second husband and third husband r/w custodial natural guardian mother wise choice in best interest for minor. If biological father has any objections he should have put his foot down till his last breadth OR he should have got allowed restraintment (as in many cases we have seen biological fathers put a restraining clause) I see both missing and hence it is not my brief to comment any further to something which is not in brief or keep applying some logics. Normally biological father's give consent to surname change when approached via Court. You may not give which is not cause of concern to me at all ! 

I have number of times brought to notice of the forum that such logics do not work by mere discussions. For the same one has to become interlocutors means impleading petition in an ongoing case or decided case has to be brought to notice / got allowed before Court of Law then such logics are mentioned to make Laws and simply asking vaguely it does not stand test in law.  


(Guest)

@Tajobs

Then I should say your obseration itself is idiotic in the first place. who authorised you to address "all other repliers"?

Preach something that you follow. dont try to be oversmart.

@Reply

Your reply w.r.t the 'surname change' law sounds good to me. I should have a look at the law and may/may not revisit the thread based on my observations. Thanks.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     11 April 2013

Originally posted by : stalker
  @Tajobs XXX

XXX
There shld be some logic and reason for what we ask!! right?
 

@ Stalker

Now what happened that you are making a revisit to Law or plans to visit / may not visit this thread
J

Your own statement “
There shld be some logic and reason for what we ask!! right? Infact you by using ‘we’ word authorized me to use “all other repliers” while replying to you !.
Reasoning:- You used word ‘we’ here “we” gets interpreted as “all”, had you asked me straightly as one-on-one same question then you should have mentioned / used “I”. Secondly I donot reply here to preach any queriest as I am not a priest and it is not in my profession also. Lastly I follow ‘surname change by letter and spirit’ in daily professional life thus I replied what I myself follow which is in consonant with Law of the Land and International Laws too, to thread queriest asked brief where you wagged your tail and made certain ‘preaching’ yes ‘preaching’.

Here is exclusive education series ‘just’ for you so that you keep on visiting this excellent interactive portal @ Stalker on surname change in case you want to reconsider and now on use word “I” whenever you next discuss law point with professionals like me ………..

Sometime wayback in Sept. 2012 similar brief was decided by Supreme Court of British Colombia, Canada;

the
Supreme Court released its decision in Landa-McAuliffe v. Boland which addresses, among other things, the factors the court should take into account when being asked to name a child. The factual background behind this aspect of the case is neatly summarized by the court itself:

[14] Briefly, Ms. Boland changed [the child's] name from “____ ____ ____ Landa” to “____ ____ ____ Boland Landa” in order to include her own surname. She appears to have sought this change under s. 4 of the Name Act, R.S.B.C. 1996, c. 328. That section normally requires consent, although there is provision to waive consent under section 4(6) due to exceptional circumstances. 

[15] Mr. Landa wants a hyphenated surname “Landa-Boland” with his name first. Ms. Boland wants the surname “Boland-Landa” with her name first. Ms. Boland is the primary caregiver of the child.

Yes, people really do go to court with problems like this.

 

In analyzing the father's request, the court firstly concludes that it has parens patriae jurisdiction (some years back I placed here in LCI principles of parens patriae  refer to my earlier articles @ Stalker on subject matter) to make decisions about the naming of children. Parens patriae means "parent of the country" and refers to the supreme court's inherent jurisdiction to make decisions respecting people under a legal disability, although the phrase is most commonly used in reference to children.


Next, the court references the considerations set out in a 1985 case from Alberta, Wintemute v. O’Sullivan, to be taken into account when the court is asked to make decisions about naming children:

1.  the welfare of the child;

2.  the short and long term effects of a change in the child’s surname;

3.  any embarrassment the child might suffer if the surname is different from that of the custodial parent;

4.  the potential for confusion of identity;

5.  the effect of change of name on the child; and,

6.  the effect of frequent or random changes of name.

The court then cites a 2010 decision from New Brunswick, L.M.D. v. J.R.S., which addressed the issue of hyphenated surnames:

[35] ... including the name of both parents is consistent with a child’s best interests. This is not a random change of name. Nor is it a request without a purpose. In the absence of any evidence to suggest that [the child's] existing surname – the name of only one parent – is in his best interest or otherwise preferable in the circumstances, a surname that includes the names of both parents cannot be rejected simply on the basis that the status quo should prevail. Not only is there no reason why the name should not change but also, in the circumstances of [the child], given his young age (he was still three when the initial application was filed) and close relationship with both parents, he will benefit from a name that reflects his connection to two separate families.

Finally, the court takes some guidance from S. 4.1 of the Vital Statistics Act, the provincial law that deals with, among other things, the registration and naming of newborn children. Section 4.1 deals with declarations of parentage, and subsection (2) provides that when the court is also making an order about the child's name, the court must choose either:

1.  the surname of either parent; or,

2.  a surname consisting of both parents' surnames hyphenated or combined in alphabetical order.

The court then, quite sensibly, concludes that the child should have the hyphenated surname Boland-Landa, for these reasons:

[19] I do not consider there to be any factors, singly or collectively, preponderantly favouring that either parents name go first in the present case. ... 

[21] ... the parties seem to be in agreement, a hyphenated last name would promote the child and his collaterals indentifying with both parents. 

[22] In choosing the order of the last names here as “Boland-Landa” on the basis of alphabetization, the decision would be consistent with provincial legislation and does not favour either parent. It is a neutral choice. 

[23] The name also has the advantage of being least disruptive to the child, as it is essentially the same name that the child has borne for the past several years. In my opinion the order of the last names alphabetically hyphenated promotes [the child's] best interests.


(Guest)

@Dear Professional Tajobs sir

LOL to your reasoning!!! :-)

It was you who made the first remark on behalf of all of us and not me...

[For referenece pls check your own post

Posted about 2 hours ago Quote
@ All other repliers

]

neway I am not interested in the cat fight :-) I have already made my stand loud and clear, I will make a revisit to the thread after I go thru the law, till then caio..


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