Sam (Software Engineer) 21 February 2011

Conversion and Special Marriage Act

I am a software professional and my boyfriend of 6 years are planning to get married soon. I am a Hindu Brahmin and he is Syrian Orthodox christian. After a lot of fighting, their parents have agreed to get us married, but only on the condition that a church wedding happens, for which I have to convert.

My parents wanted us to register the marriage under special marriage act, BEFORE the church wedding, and they have agreed to it. Their only condition is that the church wedding happens.

They have fixed a date of May 15th for the church wedding, and we have decided to register the wedding under SMA on May 13th (the church will not be informed of this).

For this, they want me to convert now itself. Will it affect me in future? I would like to retain my own name and religion. Can the church force me to follow christianity even if I get converted for the sake of marriage? Can I register under SMA even after I 'convert'? And also, even after conversion, I dont intend to change my name or religion officially/ legally.

Seek your guidance on this.

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6 Replies

Prakash (IT Specialist) 21 February 2011

Hi Sam,

As per your statement, they have already asked you to get converted which means that you can't retain your religion officialy. Few people tend to change their nameaswell but its upto them. It doesn't mean that you changed the religion (to get married to your boyfriend) you need to follow the same religion. The only thing you need to take care is that they don't force you to follow the same in future. If it happens it leads to a problem in your marriage life. So think twice before you get married and then move on. Here you only need to think about the future not the present. They have insisted you to have a church wedding because they want their grand children to be a chiristian as well, which will happen only if their boy gets married to the same community. Also do the registration before the marriage under SMA as it will reduce the chances of getting your name changed.

Best of luck for your future.

Sam (Software Engineer) 21 February 2011

Hi Prakash

Thanks very much for your prompt response. It was really helpful. Definitely the registration will be done previous to the church wedding.

He has promised me and my parents that he will not force me or our children to follow christianity, and it will be our free decision. His only problem is convincing his parents for the wedding. But they are adamant about the church wedding.

My parents are concerned about the religion and name change. Does all this need to be made official? I can still continue to be a Hindu and still use my own name, is that right?

Sam (Software Engineer) 21 February 2011

Hi Prakash

Thanks very much for your prompt response. It was really helpful. Definitely the registration will be done previous to the church wedding.

My parents are concerned about the religion and name change. Does all this need to be made official? I can still continue to be a Hindu and still use my own name, is that right?

Ambika (NA) 21 February 2011

Sam after conversion whether you follow the religion or not, offically you will be a Chriatian and your marriage would come under Chriatian marriage act. Conversion would normally require a name change and you may have to go through it, though yuou can find out from the priest if you can keep the same name. Post conversion,

By the way , do you know that Christian marriage act according to 2001 amendment allows a non Chriatian and Chriastian to get married by a preist who has licence to perform the marriage ceremony. You will not be required to get converted, but this would mean that the wedding will not have the typical Chriatian marriage ceremony etc. but would be registered in the register of Church, all the same. This would leave you a Hindu and would allow you to follow your own religion.

P[ost marriage Children's religion in such marriages become a bone of contention, if the couple are not liberal in thier religious views or to please the parents they encourage the children ot follow one religion and not the other. If there is an understanding, then the child can follow both the religions and after having attained the age of 18 can decide whether he or she wants to follow any particular religion or not.

I hope it helps you to know that your marrigae can be perfomred by a Christian priiest and still you need not convert.

Please go through the Christian marriage act . You can google for the bare act .

Wish you the best

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Prakash (IT Specialist) 21 February 2011

Yes, you are right. Not body in the world has right to force others to follow their religion. Its your wish. But you need to make sure that it is ok with you partner, just to save your so called LIFE.

Mallik Karra (Done with AIBE) 22 February 2011

@ Sam,

First get the law right........... unlike hindu marriage where both parties must be hindus, in christian marriage act if one of the party is christian then the marriage can be performed in christian manner, for this you need not convert. and when both families have agreed to register marriage under SMA first which is a good thing you'll be governed by this one for all your life.

and from what you wrote i understand they have asked for a church marriage and not for conversion and you thought you should convert... correct me if i am wrong on this front. and if they explicitly asked you to convert... then there is some amount of thinking that you need to do........