Hi,
I really need some advice over this issue. I just got married last year and now my marriage is falling apart. It took a serious of incidents for this to happen. After marriage when we went out he calls up his mother and keeps talking to her ignoring me. Even after we came home this continued though we were living with my mother in law he used to call her on the phone at job. After work when he comes home he goes and sits with her in his parents bed room while I do all the house old chores then they eat and go to their bed room. He only comes to our bed room to sleep with me. It will be late when I finish all the work and go to sleep at that time everyone would have gone to sleep. But still I will find time to tell what I did from morning till evening while he was at office. For which he said I was bothering him so, I stopped telling him anything. Then he started telling me your parents insulted me and you should fight with them. for everything he would ask his parents’ permission, by everything I mean everything I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say... after marriage he expected me to do same thing he wanted me to take up his parents’ permission to be with him and spend time with him.
He kept asking for more money from my parent’s side. He kept asking me ask for a car from my parents. They bought me a house and it is left for rent. He kept asking for the rent money which was put in my bank account. His mother asked for more jewels.
Then his parents verbally abused me and my parents every time. They every time threatened me with divorce. I tried talking to my husband about this but he takes up his mother’s side. I never talked back to his parents. Then he too joined with his parents and started torturing me. They gave me fire burns on my leg in the sole which is not visible now. He poured hot milk on my face. At the time I stayed there I did not have any job so they said if I have to eat there I have to do all the house hold works. His parents have all the dowry materials with them. I have to ask his mother's permission to eat, wear dresses, sleep and to go out of the house. He has told my father he would torture me and you will never be able to see your daughter again.
Then I got pregnant, so I couldn't stay there so I went to my mother’s house they kept calling me back to their home but I said I'm not willing to go there. His mother called up and started abusing me over the phone I just said please don't interfere it’s your fault for this fighting between me and him. After this my husband never talked to me or called me on the phone. Then one day they came and took me back to their home saying this will never happen again. But it was not the case they kept me like I was there prisoner never let me get out of the house on my own always hearing what I was talking on the phone to my parents. Till now I don't know about his salary details. Every time I ask him about it he would say I don't have any money. At the time of marriage his job was not confirmed which they did not tell us.
His mother abused me even more and his father almost hit me. He seeing this even hit me because I said I'm not feeling well, this was in my fifth month that is. They forced me to eat papaya which caused bleeding. In my 7th month I feel on the floor which was also their fault they did not take me to the hospital or anything it caused lot of problems in my final month were the baby as to be operated. I stared loosing water after falling down. I beard all this and did not say a word against them.
One of the most important point is his parents have no touch with their relations. This was also hidden from us. Till the last day before marriage they claimed that there relations will be coming.
He told me many times that he married me only because of his parent’s compulsion and he loves another girl and was unable to accept me.
But on the next day of the operation, when I just woke up and was sitting on the bed he and his mother came there and started verbally abusing me. I said both of you get out on hearing which his mother told to hit me and he hit me in the hospital the hospital staffs on seeing this sent him and his mother out the room. But he and his mother continued the verbal assault on me. My mother unable to bear this she pushed my husband out of the hospital and since then his family members have not come to see me or my child. At the time of discharge from hospital I called him on his mobile he did not answer it and I felt a message in his phone but he did not respond to any of that. They even changed their phone nos. the cell no which I used was his so, he even disconnected this number from usage next day itself. I got a mobile only two months after this happened. He cut all his connections with me and never asked anything about the baby. I mailed him several times to come and see the baby but he is not coming. I voluntarily told him about the baby all this while. But he never once asked about the baby.
Now he has applied for divorce the reason for divorce is as follows:
1. He did not have any physical relationship with me and I never talked to him cordially and I insulted him all the time.
I have to say that I conceived the very month I got married. And ten months from marriage I delivered a baby.
2. I was in my parental home most of the time. I’m not mentally matured. I have behaved like deaf and dumb. I never acted like a dutiful wife to him. And threatened him that I will commit suicide.
He itself said I kept on insulting them and says I have been dumb. I remained calm and never spoke back to them harshly or anything even if they kept on insulting me and family. I did all the work at his home even his mother said that to everyone now they say I never did any work while I stayed there.
At my trimester I was diagnosed anemic there so I was sent to my home to recover.
3. When I was in hospital I used fitly language against him. And my mother assaulted him. I changed my number without informing him. When he came to my house to see our child we did not allow him.
This I have told in my above story exactly what had happened there.
4. He tried to adjust for the welfare of our child but I never let him be.
He never tried to adjust with me.
Kindly help me what should I do. As I don’t want to go for divorce I would like to live with him.
Thanks and regards,
Shanmugapriya
