I had an arranged married in September 2007. It was a Christian wedding in the church and it was not registered seperately. We both moved to Mumbai and stayed in a flat that I was renting earlier.
The problems had started from first week when we were in our native. She was not at all interested in any sort of physical relationship (not even holding hands). I initially completely overlooked this problem and continued to be fully dedicated to her and didnt put any pressure as I thought she was just shy. But over a period of time, I realised she had the same behaviour in everything. She was not concerned or interested in mixing with me at all, even to just talk. At the same time, she was not at all hesitant in shouting and behaving very rudely even though I never raised my voice at her even once...
Over the next few months, with encouragment from our parents, we went to 2 counsellors and even a psychologist. I participated in sessions with great enthusiasm but she did not change her attitude in anything at all.
Also she had unusual behaviour all the time: completely avoiding me, shouting for no reason, going out late and visiting her old friends without informing me (at a time when she was not even talking to me), never sharing in any household expenses, keeps her phone locked, not even sitting next to me. All this happens only when she is with me.
Fooled by her usual quiet appearances in front of others, even my own parents failed to understand the problem during this time. I was completely isolated and lonely even contemplating suicide.
Till today I have hardly held her hands a few times. In the end, after living together only for 3 months after which she went back to her parents and there has been no more contact.
After 1 year now (during which there was no contact with her), I want to close this chapter and move on. At any cost I cannot imagine living with her again after all the pain she caused to me and my family.
I want to know:
1) First of all, is it neccesary to get a divorce as this marriage had only taken place in a church and never registered? Also it is non-consummated, there was no dowry, all wedding expenses were borne by my parents, and she never even showed me her salary (I did not ask either).
2) If divorce is required, do I need to register the marriage first?
3) We both work in Mumbai (software industry) but the marriage took place in Kerala. Can I apply for divorce here in Mumbai?
4) I want to complete the divorce at the earliest but she will mostly probably not be willing due to family pressure (even my own family are not supporting me). Also, how can I be prepared for hostile reaction from her family also once they are informed that I want to apply for divorce?
5) How can I find the right lawyer to handle the divorce?
Please help me