Complicated case - need views

The husband has been scared off by the act of the wife, ie attempt to suicide.  The husband has got one brother who does not live in India, but abroad who wont ever come back.

He does not want him and his widow mom to go behind bars due to some stupid act of his wife.

His mom is 70, and wants someone around.  As son he has given optinos to wife, to shift to his mom's place, but wife wont come to MIL house, when he said I go, you stay here, she took sleeping pills.

This time he is double scared that she will do it again, but that wil be of no use even if she does try commit suicide by consuming pills.  

 

She will be at most termed as habitual and even if sentenced it will be 6 months in jail and rehab.

The woman in question is adamant that husband leave his mom and come and stay with her in the rented accomodatiion.

 

The husband and his mother are not ready for talks.

But on the other hand husband can easiliy go to court asking for divorce.

 

Wife does not want divorce, but wants husband back at any cost.

 

Filing section 23 PWDVA 2005 will also be of no use.

Filing a 498a will worsen the situation, there wont be marriage left anymore.

Just referring the case to CAW cell is also a problem, woman will be thinking of getting solution.  Husband will think, they called us to police station.  Dont want wife only.  And will file for divorce subsequently.

1.    Wife should proceed on ‘separation’ under Civil laws.

2.    Wife should proceed on maint. for child and un-employed herself incl. rent for residence under same Civil laws.

3.    After the statutory ‘separation’ period re-conciliation of couple if they want same to continue or explore possible re-union, if such acts fails continue separation with a decree of divorce with alimony.

Reason:
In such facts ‘fault’ has to fall on one spouse and it could not be said both spouse are ‘scarred’ of each other! How that could be? A neutral advisor is not to see if there exists in this world ‘ideal spouse’ yet take a stand giving client(s) ‘natural justice’ as they bring 'their facts' on board for 'a just' remedy. 

You could not give advice and brought third party query on board since your upper story got clouded 'picking' up a side, see the other way round.....

All kind of torture. black magic threatning of divorce, not giving money for kid and rent.

She should file a Dv case asikng for all available remedies.

Protection order against physical abuse, maintenance for child, SHARED HOUSEHOLD.

I strongly condemn Tajob for the idea of separation.Because this idea gives a Fatherless life to the child for no fault of it.

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I see here no chance of reunion unless husband can differentiate the position of his wife mom and wife in his life.But divorce or separation is not necessary for the child.

same as above..

:p

Need some solutions for getting husband back to wife.

 

This is where marriage counselling can help a lot. Let the couple go for it. Husband's take here is critical. He is the right judge. He has to make his priorities clear. If he takes his mom side then amicable divorce is the solution. Counseling will help him take a right decision. Blackmailing with pils wont work at all.

This is where marriage counselling can help a lot. Let the couple go for it. Husband's take here is critical. He is the right judge. He has to make his priorities clear. If he takes his mom side then amicable divorce is the solution. Counseling will help him take a right decision. Blackmailing with pils wont work at all.

Update from querist:

 

Hi, I never did it with any negative intention. They always used to threaten me, if i dont listen to them, they will go to court.... and so. Now, I dont want to loose him, bcos all this is happening bcos of my mil. Why should i file for divorce? SHE IS THE ONE CREATING PRBLMS BETWEEN BOTH OF US BCOS SHE IS JEALOUSY IN NATURE. SHE DID THE SAME THING WHEN SHE WENT TO MY ELDER BROTHER IN LAWS HOUSE IN ABROAD. But try to give me solution, how to escape from divorce (Suppose if he produces that evidence to court) Thanks

The husband has full details about how she took sleeping pills including a detailed medical report stating that she took it on her own will and that no one was responsible for her act.

Tajobs, Ranee, stalker, NGOKC, Raj 123, S. Shravan Kumar. Thank you so much for the suggestions..

Except Ranee and stalker all suggested legal ways.  

I believe that to be married, to have a kids, husband, wife.. thats family and not all are blessed with such a thing in these days of short tempered natures.

What I suggested to this female is approach your MIL and husband with your father and mother along with kid.

Try to find a midway, due to differences while staying together ie MIL, son and DIL and kid, the MIL herself has made arrangement for DIL and son and grandchild separately in the same city, but same can be changed to a nearby place, keeping in mind the present rented accomodation is quite far and travelling itself will become tiresome keeping in mind the distance.  Like this the husband will have to only keep moving between mom and wife's place.

So I suggested to vacate the present house and take a nearby house to that one's of MIL, like that husband will be a good husband and also a good son.

Hi Helping Hand,

I think the best way out is to ask the husband to install CCTV cameras where he live and then stay with his wife. When she has suicial tendencies, she may implicate him anytime due to no fault of hers. Recently a lady went naked outside her home in night at 2am because the husband was questioning her on her affair with her boyfriend. She created nuiscance while she was naked and the husband was beaten mercilessly. 

Then the husband showed the SMS exchange to the police and neighbors happening between her wife and the paramour......After that the lady went inside and now she is not even leaving him and is continuiing her extra marital affair and husband has no options left just to bear her and he is so much scared and confused......

These actually are human tendencies, suicidal tendency should not be ignored.

CCTV cameras must be installed so as to save himself from any false case......

AND THEN ASK him to take some accomodation nearby where he can look after his parents and wife both and let both families sit and decide on the future course of action.

Also, there shall be no bindings on husband from wife side that he should not meet his parents.........and same for wife.....

Originally posted by : 498aweddinggift
	Hi Helping Hand, I think the best way out is to ask the husband to install CCTV cameras where he live and then stay with his wife. When she has suicial tendencies, she may implicate him anytime due to no fault of hers. Recently a lady went naked outside her home in night at 2am because the husband was questioning her on her affair with her boyfriend. She created nuiscance while she was naked and the husband was beaten mercilessly.  Then the husband showed the SMS exchange to the police and neighbors happening between her wife and the paramour......After that the lady went inside and now she is not even leaving him and is continuiing her extra marital affair and husband has no options left just to bear her and he is so much scared and confused...... These actually are human tendencies, suicidal tendency should not be ignored. CCTV cameras must be installed so as to save himself from any false case...... AND THEN ASK him to take some accomodation nearby where he can look after his parents and wife both and let both families sit and decide on the future course of action. Also, there shall be no bindings on husband from wife side that he should not meet his parents.........and same for wife.....

According to the wife herself, her husband has collected enough proof that she has got suicidal tendencies.

As per me, its like sitting on a time b-om-b, ie living with this kind of female, where one cannot even guess what she will be doing next.

Hence, the husband has moved out of the place, has already contacted a lawyer and is in the process of filing divorce, [MCD] by starting with talks with the wife and her family, in the presence of the lawyer.

It  appears to me that this female has tried lots of tricks to make the husband dance to her tunes, but now that she has tried and failed everything including attempt to suicide, she is repentful, and wants the husband to be back to her some how.

In the given case, the husband wll surely get divorce as he can easily prove that the wife has got mental issues and has suicidal tendencies too, [medical documents of neary 4 years + one MR where she consumed sleeping pills in large quantites where her stomach had to be emptied and was admitted in hospital for a week.]

Now the ball is in the husband's court.  It is totally up to him what step he will take.

Mediation sessions and counselling sessions have taken place N number of times, each time it failed due to stubborness of the wife, that husband should not go and meet his mother. 

I have tried to explain the importance of son meeting the mother, but the lady in question is very adamant and wants to file false cases on her MIL and husband for not listening to her.

If anyone may wish to speak to this lady, I will be glad to share her contact details with you via PM, only if you think your counselling might help the couple stay together.

Thanks.

Dear Helping Hand,

As per the situation told by you, i dont think it would be a wise decision to stay with such a lady. You never know what she is gonna do the next moment. I empathise that he has proofs of suicidal tendencies, but then if she commits suicide then u know documental evidence comes very late and husband is arrested and sent to JC till that time...........CCTV cameras may help out better.

But i think staying with such a lady is like living with a nuclear bomb at the home ie u do not know when she gets explode and all will be behind bars without any fault of them.....The lady should understand the role of a mother and son..............If she is so adamant, then its better to stay away from her. And i am damn sure on the other hand, she would want her husband to conitnue relations with his MIL....ie her mother......................which i have seen nearly in 99% of the cases.

Better way for both of them is to part ways and if she dont want to leave him, then let her fight for divorce in court and in due course i feel she may file false 498a,DV & 125 which actually most of the women do to teach a lesson and they never think that actually they are teaching lessons to themselves.

Anyhow, i feel both of them r not made for each other and shud part their ways amicably.