filed RCR so that can prove desertion and get divorce..

SIR,

KINDLY NOTE THAT YOUR MARRIAGE IS JUST 4 YEARS OLD. YOUR WIFE WAS IN HOSPITAL FOR DELIVERY. SOME MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND FIGHT STARTED.

KINDLY NOTE THAT SHE IS NOT WILLING FOR DIVORCE,SHE WANTS TO STAY WITH YOU,IT IS UP TO YOU TO COMPROMISE THE MATTER IN THE INTEREST OF YOUR FAMILY AND KIDS.YOU ARE WELL QUALIFIED AND EMPLOYED PERSONS YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOOD AND BAD FOR YOU.KEEP PATIENCE AND DO NOT TAKE ANY HARSH STEPS.KINDLY NOTE THAT MOST OF THE PRESENT ACTS ARE IN FAVOUR OF MARRIED WOMAN. IT IS ADVISIBLE TO WAIT AND DO NOT TAKE ANY HASTY DECISION.

YOU MAY DISCUSS THE MATTER WITH YOUR WIFE AND TRY TO SORT OUT THE PROBLEMS AND DIFFERENCES, AS TIME PASSES YOU WILL REALISE THE MISTAKES AND MISUNDERSTANDINGS WILL BE SORTED OUT.SO GOOD LUCK. SAVE YOUR FAMILY.

YOU MAY SEND DETAILS FOR FURTHER HELP.GOOD LUCK.

Thanks for the reply NANDKUMAR Jee,

Actally  i had put my comments as simple as possible. now will be able to clarify things in detail.

KINDLY NOTE THAT YOUR MARRIAGE IS JUST 4 YEARS OLD

In this 4 years she stayed in my house maximum for 7 days in continuation.

When ever i got her convinced to come back ( For that i used to stay her Fathr's Place 2-3 days a week) she will run away within 2 days. She will make big issues out of miner, call her father and will force him to take her back by emotionally black mailing him ( Her mother expired 2 years before the marriage). She never considered me and my parent's requests to stay and discuss. I should not have stayed at her father's place that i realize now.

 YOUR WIFE WAS IN HOSPITAL FOR DELIVERY. SOME MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND FIGHT STARTED.

The night before she was supposed to come to my place from the hospital she called me and started abusing me for Boozing. she wanted to create an issue so that she can prevent that. Next day by the time i reached hospital to take her... the job was already done. She got her Father convinced and her father started abusing me in the reception. My 3 days old daughter was literally snatched from my hands, created big issues and the went back.

SHE WANTS TO STAY WITH YOU,IT IS UP TO YOU TO COMPROMISE THE MATTER IN THE INTEREST OF YOUR FAMILY AND KIDS.

Yes she does...but only in her terms and conditions with full freedom in a  separate house. Even the Husband will not have a say in any thing,  just obey  her orders. U as a husband only have duties to do no rights and emotional expectation can be kept. u r a pet not a human.

I faced this when i used to frequently visit her. My stay  their  During her  pregnancy was a torture i was insulted every now and then they critisized my parents and family values always. Few times i had to leave that place to avoid further quarrel.In my case  It was other way round -  what is considered to happen with wifes.

KINDLY NOTE THAT MOST OF THE PRESENT ACTS ARE IN FAVOUR OF MARRIED WOMAN.

That is the main reason why she has taken me, my parents, law and the society for granted.

Her principle in life is very simple - I am well educated with distinction, in a gvt job, own duplex house, Father has enough money in bank acct, only child, got married, have a kid. So every thing till now in  life is accomplished. If the husband wants to stay in my terms then he is well come or go to hell i dont need him.

YOU MAY DISCUSS THE MATTER WITH YOUR WIFE AND TRY TO SORT OUT THE PROBLEMS AND DIFFERENCES, AS TIME PASSES YOU WILL REALISE THE MISTAKES AND MISUNDERSTANDINGS WILL BE SORTED OUT.SO GOOD LUCK. SAVE YOUR FAMILY.

I have come out of that stage now. no option left other than the above points mentioned.

so i in nutt shell I am being forced to look for divorce because all my attempts failed. I cant accept her demands. I was committed till the last day ....she tried to escape every time.

She has law and social sympathy with her. I only have hope to restart my life and will be fighting for it

Regards

Arindam

Hello Arindam

Read everything

See the choice is yours.

But let me tell you one thing clearly, if you will file for divorce and your wife opposes it, then it can take 5-6 years or more then that, you will end up with depression.  Their will be a couple of mediation and counselling sessions, see arindam. Our judiciary doesn't like breaking marriages, so contesting divorce case is a long procedure & tiring. Till the time she doesn't agree its difficult.

And if you think of inflicting false alligations etc on her , then also you need proofs . So contesting divorce is a very long process, so before starting your fight think wisely. will you be able to afford that expense and torture.

Rather then that you can think to save your marriage, you don't have to be her pet. Get a seperate accomodation but be manipulative.  Enjoy with your daughter, Some compromises and some gain. Give & take .....

Else the choice is yours.

Hi Rajeev, 

Thanks for thr response....Iam aware of the facts and that is why i want to build my case based on desrtion as the RCR is running since 2 1/2 years, I believe this may have better chances than the other clauses for divorce.

Nandkumar jee waiting for your responce also

Regards

Arindam

Arindam

Let's take the ficticious scenario that .............................'You won ongoing suit of RCR..............But After winning RCR decree ...you need to execute ALSO ..............i.e. a formal application/notice to wife that she has to join you!!!...And if she shows readyness and complies to it..................then you can't file for desertion or even non-compliance of RCR after 1 year..............'

You can't take advantage of your own wrongs...........Winning RCR...but  not executing the same........ is a blatant wrong on your part and won't sustain in the court after 1 year.

She is very clear in her intentions - either u stay with me on my terms or stay alone choice is your.

You were given a wrong advise /strategy to win divorce...................anyways...........................its the reality with male petitioners in divorce!!!

hI Jamai,

It seems it will lead to 2 situations

A) If she agrees to come to my place -  i will make sure that she is not able to ( I know how to do that)

1. Can i  pretend helpleness in court ?

B) If  she does not agree to come to my place then 

1.Can the court force her ?

2. Can the court foce me to take a separate accommodation ?

3. Can the court accept dessertion and agree for divorce?

Regards

Arindam

can any body ans my qr

Right suggestion, I recommend.

There are deeper implications in the story. Please compromise and live a very happy married life. Through the ego into the river. And help yourself. Avoid confrontation. Otherwise there is deep deep implications, friend , understand.

@ Author,

Point of no return have deep rooted among you two it seems so from various forgoing briefs of yours and also hints your well preparedness to face biased legal situations so in such situation you may follow following;


1. Withdraw RCR on grounds of separation from last so many factual years and seeing no point of its logical legal conclusion and couple being young and having a now growing fast kid and liberty to convert RCR into a Divorce suit with willingness to meet ‘reasonable’ maint. to wife and or child pendentelite. Mention all these in withdrawing Application.  


2. Get the Divorce suit admitted with ‘separation’ as primary para ‘ground’ supported with her ‘cruelties’ counter blast of filing DV suit. You have only two grounds to prove and since inspite of some very good advise you are showing remorse ness to lead matrimonial life this is the only way out left for you.

3. Now, don’t (probably) crib on maint. part as it has to be given since you are a father. For wife’s maint. you need to have to pay since she is shown as earning. Contest the DV suit as how DV can happen if briefs shows some other closed door assumptions other than ‘neglect’ part in terms of maint. the duration she and child were not with you which you can contest !

4. If two couples have choosen not to live together then accept the fact and larger public interest says not to advise them of ‘joining again” it is callaed inflecting more cruelties to them, no matter you may always have soft heart for a ‘Indian wife’ but HMA is the only gender neutral Family Law so to believe.

5. Family Law cases runs for an average 4 - 5 years. The couple have already suffered almost similar duration and suggesting HIM to re-join and or compromise is like pulling him from baby's bath tub to throwing him into a pound and then comment 'go now keep learning swiming' .

Thank u so much Tajobs,

I believe i should follow ur advice.....its true that the relationship has gone to the point of no return now and i am prepared to face the biased leagal system.

Would also like to share with the members - It is true that it is a a legal battle and we were not prepared for this....we never thought in our wildest dreams that we would have to face this....BUT IT HAPPENED...so what next.....i follow this principal

Do not let the other party know what is in your mind

I keep  a lots of peace of mind...how  ??-

• Accept it as a battle field (not personal but legal)... this is a vaccination process to keep u away from feelig sad and dipressed.

• This is a psychological battle too... let them fight in both fields...and u come out of the psycological battle and keep fighting in the legal field only...nothing personal.

• Accepted the fact that u will have to live with a future of helplessness for many years.

• Enjoy it as a destiny, enjoy the freedom, have girl friends/boy friends ( Do not Hide any thing from them)

• Craft a new destiny for u - Believe me u can...it has many things in store for u...find them out.
  
  

Most immportant - Make your parents understand these also...it is very immportant that all family members are in peace of mind. 

Good luck...Thanks ones again Tagobs

Regards

Arindamraj

Thanks Rajora ji....I have been trying to do that but failed....

Finally i understood that it is not a normal field, it is a battle field...either u win or lose... It is not the ego  anymore as it is not personal anymore for me...i take it as a legal battle only...trying to craft my own destiny with finding out new opertunities in life with wider prospects.

Yaa one can definitely compomise, accept the injustice and succumb to the pressuere of fear of hopelessness...

Its the choice one makes - U fight or u Succumb...I chose to fight

Regards

Arindamraj