I need some advice on my situation, I have provided the details below kindly advise me what the best course will be.
I was in a relationship with a man from a prominent business family of Kanpur. We were in a live-in relationship in Australia (Sep 2006) during which we had s*xual relations, we had decided to get married in the future. He then had to return to India (June 2007) to his family business but promised me that we will get married soon. After which I informed my parents about my decision to marry him and my mother spoke to him also (Sep 2007). He then returned to Australia for one month (Dec 2007-Jan 2008) and we resumed our live-in relationship all in the understanding that we will get married. I was due to return one month later to India to begin marriage talks with our families. The boy did not want me to remain in Australia and I finished my studies ahead of schedule to return to India (Feb 2008).
Boy came to my house in Chennai (Mar 2008), met my parents and other family members and asked for my hand in marriage. After spending a full day with him he was given consent and as a token of consent, a gold chain was gifted to him by my family.
Next our families met in Kanpur (Apr 2008), initially everything was fine, families agreed and boy's mother put two gold bangles in my hand as a sign of consent. Next day, the boy's parents demanded to have the wedding in Kanpur, we are from chennai and as hindu traditions weddings take place in girls home/town, my parent's refused to have the wedding in Kanpur and the talks were suspended for sometime. Both parties parted requesting time to think about it.
During this time, boy and me were in constant touch via phone and internet (video conferencing). After some months, my parents agreed for my happiness to conduct the wedding in Kanpur and this time (Feb 2009) the boy's parents and a family friend came to chennai without the boy. When they came they first refused to talk about the marriage but instead asked me many questions and told me its still not late as I'm in Chennai and he is in Kanpur. I said there is nothing to decide, we love eachother and want to marry. After lot of cross questioning they agreed for marriage and date was fixed as per their choice, 22 April 2009.
My parents requested them to keep it on a later date as it was too soon for arrangements to be made but they insisted as the boy\'s parents and elder brother got married in april month. My parents also agreed to it although it would be extremely difficult to arrange money and resources plus the inauspicious month between march 15-april 15 will reduce the time more. My parents immediately booked train tickets for my family and relatives as already no tickets were available due to summer time. We only got tickets till Jhansi which is a town a few hours away from Kanpur.
Then his parent's demanded for a car saying that its to show the society that they've married their son into a good family, even the elder son had received a car and they don't want any comparison between the 2 daughter in laws. My family refused, as we do not practice dowry. His mother also went on to list the gifts and jewellery they received during their eldest son's marriage to tell us their expectations. They made it clear that they did not want comparison between the two weddings hence anything we do has to be equal or greater than the previous wedding.
My parents and me clearly said we will do as per our hearts desires in the wedding but will not give any car as we do not like such practice. They refused to listen to us and kept insisting on it along with their friend. I then called up the boy and told him about his parents demands who in turn called up his parents. His parents then got upset with the fact that their son was questioning them and due to me.
They came home the next day and created a scene saying how could I call him and say dowry, they never said dowry, they said gift for the daughter. We will throw the boy out of the house and disown him. And many such things about the boy and me. My parents then tried to pacify them and told them not to get upset.
They finally left with the date still fixed for 22 April 2009 and told my father to immediately come to Kanpur with money to make all arrangements as time was less and the venues will not be available. My father had already expressed his difficulty in arranging money on such short notice but they insisted he manage and come at the earliest as they had a venue in mind.
Then they started questioning him about his budget and when told they said they wanted a wedding at a venue which had a higher budget the their guests are more. Then after making arrangements within one week my father booked tickets in tatkal to kanpur and informed his father. I had informed the boy earlier itself the date of my dad's arrival to kanpur. My dad then officially told his father, that time his father asks my dad to cancel all tickets as he is not available due to a family emergency. This family emergency had taken place while they were in Chennai itself and that time they told us as soon as they returned, they would leave to the place of family emergency the very next day. My father was due to go to Kanpur almost more than a week after they went back to Kanpur. We assumed they had already gone and returned to the other place in that one week. The boy never communicated to us about his parents plans but was always aware of my dad's arrival. Last minute, boy father told my dad to cancel.
My father then informed me and I got extremely upset and called the boy and fought with him. This conversation was overheard by the boy's father who used it as an excuse to cancel the wedding saying I was accusing them of dowry demands and accusing them for expensive wedding venues.
After calling them several times to apologize, they continued to insult me and my parents. My father then went to kanpur (Mar 2009) with his best friend to solve the matter. Now his family started talking about horoscopes, saying they consulted astrologers who said this weding is not good and will break in 6 months. The boy is manglik and girl is not and many such things which were never discussed before. My father said these things can be solved by doing appropriate puja's and this is a love marriage so all these things should not be give His family still refused to go ahead right away and said give it time. My father apologized for hurting their sentiments if at all. Meanwhile, the boy also started behaving funny, changing his phone number and going away on holidays.
With the help of friends I traced him to delhi where at a friends house we met and spent 2 nights together (Mar 2009), we spoke and decided we will give it time. We also had partial s*xual relation during those 2 nights.
After this the boy's family started acting funny, over the next few months they did not allow the boy to talk to me, the boy started avoiding me and my family members and when we spoke we would end up fighting.I also went to kanpur (Aug 2009) where the boy met me but said he can't do anything and he will not go against his family. His family doesn't like me and my family. I returned to chennai.
After returning, the boy and me kept in touch but not a lot, in this period, his family became aware of our live-in relationship and the boy's father tried to beat him up. The boy called me and cried on the phone.
After that situation was very tense, one night when I called the boy (Sep 2009), his father answered and started shouting at me saying why are you calling him when it is all over, he then threatened to file an FIR against me if I ever go to Kanpur. He said don't call him again, I have his phone now.
His father then called my parents and told them about my trip to kanpur and abused my character to them. My parents then confronted me and I broke down and told them about the live-in relationship. My family has been trying to contact the boy.
Now his family are not allowing my parents to talk to him, they say they have disowned him and thrown him out of the house which is a lie. We asked some of our known contacts in kanpur to check where the boy is and all told us he is with his family.
After this, everytime my father calls his father, they continue defaming me, and talk rubbish about my character and say somethings which I can confirm that now even the boy is supporting his family and defaming me (Sep-0ct 2009)
Now, I'm in a dilemma as to what to do.
They have ruined my life. The boy promised to marry me, I had s*xual relations based on that promise and trusted him. His parents demanded for dowry and when refused they cancelled the wedding. I have been going through mental trauma for the past few years due to this. I left my life and career in Australia for this boy and he has betrayed and abandoned me. My parent's are willing to get us married with respect but his family is not agreeing and the boy is also not ready to marry against his family's wishes as he is dependent on them.
I want to know whether I have any legal course of action. I want to fight for justice. They are very powerful people with lots of money and will buy through their case. I do not want money but I want justice. I want my rights.
In our country, this happens so often. Girls are used by boys who then abandon them and marry their parents choice. I want to fight this evil. Please understand I\'m not doing this for any monetary gains as I understand many women also misuse the law.
I would like some advice on this. I am not getting much support as people are scared about reputation but I want justice. I also want to know, if there is any legal case here where should I file any case from?He is from Kanpur and I am from Chennai.
Thanks and Regards
P
