Need help unjently

There are three approaches you need to look at:  

1. Moral: Did you have s*x with this girl or some form of physical relationship, beyond just hold hands or an occasional kiss? If you did, then on moral basis the other side has a right to get upset and I am not too sure that I would like to offer you legal advise. Even if you did not have any physical relationship with her, then too, it is hard to believe that you did not have any idea of her physical characteristics before your engagement. 

2. Legal: If you had s*x with her or any form of non-casual physical relationship, a good advocate will say that you misled her into believing that she is already your wife and therefore all kinds of charges can be framed against you. 

3. Practical: Come up with a practical solution before giving legal notices. Go to the other side and tell them that to save their face, as she is a girl, you would like them to call off the marriage by claiming some thing bad about you that they did not know earlier. Tell them that you would accept that fault if people ask you about it and you should do so, if asked. May be something like you have a girl friend who is pregnant. This will be help them get out of the situation with a face-saving approach and enable you to proceed with your life. Then, lie low till she gets married and then get married or wait for a year or two before getting married. This will allow some cooling off period too.

One more thing... I do not think that on a legal basis, if you did not have any physical relationship, calling of your engagement is a crime or even a tort (civil wrong) based upon which a legal action can be filed. Here you have to be concerned about practical aspect of the situation. Its like slapping a mafia with no witnesses and wondering if the mafia man will prevail in a police complaint as there are no witnesses. Hope you get the point. You need to think out-of-the-box.

See Boss...

Marriage should be done with 100% happiness. If you are feeling uncomfortable, then break the relationship now and don't proceed with marriage and end up with problems.

Also, don't say under pressure you agreed for engagement. You can always say "No".

No court says to marry her if they file any complaint.

Last thing, if you are not happy, bestway is to break now only rather than suffering entire life.

Hi Sir,

Thanks for the quick reply. It really helps.

I met the girl twice after engagement in a public restaurant (nearby her house) with her permission not in any park or private place. Prior to meeting I took permission from her and asked her to take permission from her parents for the same.

I have never ever touched the girl (except while putting the engagement ring, I held her palm for a few seconds). I never had any form of physical relationship with her. I believe it is ethically wrong to do so hence I never dared to do it. I met her twice only to calm myself down and try to find positive things in her. She has photosensitive skin, which causes her tans (spots) to get darker when she goes out in sun. When I saw her before engagement she was ill and in home for a couple of days and it was cloudy and cool too. That her tans were visible but I thought it may have been because of some medicines reaction. I should have asked her at that time itself. I am repenting on my mistake but I am helpless now.

Honestly I told herself and her parents about this. I apologized. Her father made me speak with her doctor who confirmed that this is a permanently in-curable skin condition, though not a disease. I never intended to mislead her or make her feel that she is my wife by trying to get intimate with her. I spoke with her on telephone for a week or so. I never even told her things like (I Love U or miss u etc).

When I said this to her parents her father threatened my family by saying that he will file a complaint (420-cheating) in police station stating that we have cheated them. He said that he will go in media and that he can go to any extent. He will show the video recording and photographs in court and police station and will ensure that all the attendees in the engagement from my side will be imprisoned. He says that we won’t even get bail.

I have already suggested to the girl and her family that they are free to make any statements about me in their family and relatives who know about this event, to save their face. I am also ready to speak with anyone who says anything bad to them as this is happening because of me. They are very adamant and are refusing to break this engagement and say that the girl or her father may commit suicide. They think that now that the girl's name is anyways spoiled they want to spoil our reputation as well by dragging us in court. He is saying that he is ready that the girl will be unhappy with you rather than being unhappy otherwise.

I have a few questions:-

1. Can they file any legal complaint with malicious intent? If so then under what sections?

2. Can we proactively safeguard ourselves against this? I do not want to see my parents or other innocent family members even go to police station. I am ready to take the blame on myself. Me and my family am really bothered about this. I am not able to concentrate on work as well.

3. Is there any need to go for anticipatory bail or caveat etc (I am not aware of these things).

4. If I say that I have a girlfriend etc stuff (which is not the case) then they may surely drag us in court with intent of cheating.

Please help.

What has the doctor diagnosed her skin condition as?

It is not required for any Anticipatory Bail. They can file cheating cases on you and your family (If they want). Nobody can arrest you, just because you are denying marriage. Once they file civil cases, talk to your lawyer.

You need to come forward now and tell clearly that you are not interested in marriage.

100%, it depends on you. You tell that you are not interested in marriage and settle the things with mediators.

They cannot force you to marry whom you don't like.

She is having photo sensitive skin and medically she is diagnosed to have Freckles and Melasma. She is undergoing treatment since few years.

Thanks for your responses.

Freckles and melasma ..and the dermat says not treatable! brother it is 100% treatable  and is not a disease nor a life long disorder ...is there any other reason apart from this?

It is of dermal (inner layer) kind and can fade to an extent but not completely. This may be a small cosmetic problem for someone but is bothering me.
I tried to consult a lot of doctors but they all suggested the same thing.
The doctors have said that she cannot undergo laser treatment as her skin is very sensitive and it can get permanently damaged. And even if we go for lasers or chemical peeling and fade the tans, they will appear again. It will take lot of time which is not known.

Overall I don't like the girl. I know that now its late but I don't want it to be too late.

Bottomline, you don't like her. Then end up relation now only.

While marrying you should not have any unhappiness in mind.

So treating disease 100% or not is not the concern here. You don't like her that is first thing.

I think you are wasting time by giving medical details.

Since you don't like her there is no question of marriage.

Tell them that you are not going to marry, that solves the problem. 

Based upon the discussion so far, it appears that you have another reason for getting out of marriage. It has prompted me to change my stance on your problem. Did you try to look at this from another angle? They never told you a lie. They appear not to have cheated you in the sense that they did not have her undergo short-term treatment to conceal her disease, etc. Now you are backing out  after an elaborate engagement ceremony. Pretty cruel of you. Don't you think so? Its your fault and you need to pay some price for it, morally and legally. Karma finally comes around and hits back. So, think if it is possible to accept her and save so many people inconvenience for a long time. Its only her looks that you are worried about and in this case it is literally only SKIN-DEEP.  Sacrifices for moral fairness are sometimes what makes a man a MAN. You need to look inside... beyond the IPC code or Civil law or what her father is threatening... inside your conscience.. for the good of all, to rectify what is essentially YOUR wrong, not anybody else's. Take some time, go to your place of worship, whatever it is and then act. Not before that.

Samir,

What if his mind not accepting her. There are many things post marriage and everyday he has to talk to her and need to lead happy married life.

There is no point in keeping unhappiness in mind and for the sake of good person marrying her and suffer for ever.

It is good for both to end the relation now itself.

Looks like he is not interested from beginning and coming up with all excuses. I am wondering how he said "Yes" to engagement if he is not interested.

But, in a long run it is better to avoid this match and end the relation now only rather than spoling her life later on.

Anyway, let him think and conclude.

Thanks for your opinions and help,

I am definitely thinking from every perspective. I am already feeling very guilty.

But at the same time I do not want to spoil her life if I can not commit myself towards her completely. I would have scolded any of my friend's had they done a similar thing. The blunder that I made is by saying yes to engagement when I wasn't 100% sure. Now I do not wish to make another big blunder by marrying her if I do not like her. Damage is already done but I do not wish to aggravate it.

I will think over it and try my level best to contain myself, but if I am not able to accept her then I won't spoil her life.

Thanks for your candid opinions. My intention here is to obtain legal advise.

Thanks for your opinions and help,

I am definitely thinking from every perspective. I am already feeling very guilty.

But at the same time I do not want to spoil her life if I can not commit myself towards her completely. I would have scolded any of my friend's had they done a similar thing. The blunder that I made is by saying yes to engagement when I wasn't 100% sure. Now I do not wish to make another big blunder by marrying her if I do not like her. Damage is already done but I do not wish to aggravate it.

I will think over it and try my level best to contain myself, but if I am not able to accept her then I won't spoil her life.

Thanks for your candid opinions. My intention here is to obtain legal advise.