meena (not working) 25 January 2011

Need legal advice immediately

Hi all,

I need an urgent legal advice. My fiance’s name is kishore and he is 24. When he came to my house to see me for first time, he told about his past. He had loved a girl in college for 4 to 5 years. During that period they were very close to each other and once they even crossed their limits and had s*x.After that ,she had done few things which hurt him badly.She had the habit of lying.She used to lie a lot to him, starting from silly to sensitive issues. She also had a very bad temper that if she got angry she used to go hysteric and throw things at him causing him injuries.She used to abuse him in front of the public causing him shame.Kishore had warned her so many times to change her character and lying habits but she never listened and repeated it.At one stage,he got frustrated and decided to break up.She too agreed to break up and they both parted. After some months,kishore’s parents started searching for a bride for their son and they came to my house.When kishore told me about his past,I told him I don’t care about his past.We liked each other so much, hence we asked our parents to proceed.

His ex girlfriend got to know this and she came to my house , created a big scene and threatened me not to marry him.She stopped us from proceeding further.She started torturing him daily to marry her.At times,she even used to threaten that she will commit suicide if he refuses to marry her and get him behind the bars.Unable to bear the mental torture that she gave ,he agreed to marry her. But he told her clearly that she can never get his love by forcing or torturing him and surely this marriage will end in divorce.But she doesnt want that too.She said that he must get the old love on her again and then only marry her.We thought that once she realizes that he will never love her again,she ll leave him and move on with her life.So we decided to give it some time.But it has been nearly 1 year now and there is no change in the situation. She says that she wont leave him, she wont marry him without his consent and she wont allow him to marry any other girl also.I like him very much so I ve also decided to wait for him.Hence I am also not able to move on.All our 3 lives are getting wasted.We want to have a solid full stop to this but she is too stubborn and waiting endlessly.We don’t know if her parents are aware of all this.She is not allowing us to approach them also.We are not able to marry because of the fear that she may take legal action on us,Our lives are stranded and we re totally baffled and helpless. Please provide us some advice.What step should we take now?

Thanks.

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12 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner ) 25 January 2011

@ Author

Questions to you;

1. What does marriage means to you ?

2. What did your parents see in this boy that TODAY they are not able to move forward to fix someother suitable boy for you ?

3. What is THAT thing in this boy that you FEEL, that has made your PRESENT life a FULL STOP ?

Move ahead there are no dearth of good families of suitable boys willing to settle down with clear past and presentable present ...........

To me there is nothing I see as in 'a legal question that needs legal minds to answer the same' in your this post other than a mental block........

Life is beautiful and worth living the way you meant it it be. All the best

Avnish Kaur (Consultant) 25 January 2011

if u are so sure to marry him, ask him to break all his links with her. and marry him and defend watever she does. cannot do much damage to him once he breaks all links with her.collect all evidence of her threats .

Kishor Balakrishnan (Lawyer) 25 January 2011

hello, after al;l what is marriage., it is a relationship intended to stand, prvide access to biological needs, procreate childrren for the mankind to survive and in the miodst of all these, both the souses shall enjoy and lead a good, happy life, support the families, provde the happiness they deserve.

In the instant case, the BOY is not fit for all these it seems. He cannot be of any help to you. The other girl cannot go for any litigation, but she can annoy you both. why then a decision not to marry and wait for the bomb to explode.

meena (not working) 25 January 2011

Hi all,

Thanks for ur valuable replies.The boy is also so stubborn to marry me.He is really good and my parents like him as well.He didnt betray her.He was sincere to her and she only provoked him to take the decision of breaking up .She herself agrees that she did all the mistakes but still wants him to come back to her but he is not liking her anymore.I am also stubborn that i need him and that is why i am waiting for him,but the problem is we both are scared if she will take legal steps against us as they had s*x once when they were in love(though it was consesual s*x by both of them).She may also try all possible ways to stop our marriage like fighting,abusing during the marriage,because she already once came to my house and created a big drama.She is too stubborn that she wont let him marry any other girl(not only me).So whether i get him or not, i like him so much and i still care for his life and i am worried about his life.What should he do if this girl does nt allow him to marry at all?

meena (not working) 25 January 2011

Dear all,

Thanks for your replies.Most people would have had a love affair in their past life.Some of them succeed and marry,some will be forced to part.After they part dont they have the right to move on with their life and marry another person?

As Mr/Ms tajobsIndia said,i can move on with my life and marry some other guy.Does that mean kishore is not eligible to marry anyone just because he had an affair in the past and had s*xual relationship with her?If he has the right to marry someone,why should nt i be that girl ,when we both like each other?

Mr.Avinash Kaur,you said he has to break all his links with her.But the problem is she knows his permanent address.She knows his office.She knows all his relatives very well and their addresses too.They have a lot of friends in common and she can get in touch with him easily.And more over,even if he totally hides himself from her,cant she go to the police and find him?

Mr.Kishore Balakrishnan,beg your pardon,but i didnt get you properly.When you said "why then a decision not to marry and wait for the bomb to explode.",do you mean that we can go ahead and marry when she is still in picture?Cant she take action against him ?

I dont have much knowledge about law but i know that Indian law is very much in favor of woman.I read somewhere that a woman can accuse a man of rape if he refuses to marry her even if they had s*x with mutual consent .I came through this forum and found that so many lawyers answer our questions.Hence i posted my question here.Any help will be highly appreciated.

Thanks

Advocate Rakesh Raja (d) 25 January 2011

Hi meena i completely agree with u.

meena (not working) 25 January 2011

Thank you sir.. but then what is the way out of this?how can we handle it legally? any suggestions would be of great help.

Ajay Gulati (Practicing Advocate) 25 January 2011

Hello All..

A complex situation but is also seems that the separate angles in this triangle does not want to go for a solution which is though not simple but yes a bit bold and exemplary..

irrespective of the fact tht d guy had physical intimacy wid tht girl and d girl may want to implicate him in a false case if kishore marries u bt tht doest mean tht one shd live at d mercy of other..u cannot live a life based on somebody's whims and fancies.

I personally think that u ppl must take a bold stand and when already this thing is known to many of ur relatives then y dnt u take recourse to Police authorities by giving a simple complaint..

I tell you one thing that u must have seen in the movies d idol of justice i.e. a lady having a black ribbon on her eyes but truly our law is not that blind..

Dont drag this issue further and go ahead with marriage and take help of Police and Law enforcing agencies.

Divya (nil) 25 January 2011

Meena,

First of all if u are madly in love with the boy you should be willing to face any difficiltu/accusations which come along the way....This kind of a scenario can also happen after marriage with any girl..In such a case only the fight for justics will win....

Secondly would advise you to go for a secretive court marriage & quickly move for ur small vacation with ur lover...Do not spread things much..

Thirdly..this girl seems to be a psycho & she wont leave you or the guy from any side..So u both need to take a stand on this issue.

meena (not working) 27 January 2011

Thanks everyone. My fiance spoke to a friend of his,who is a lawyer..the lawyer said it all depends on that girl and even if she attempts suicide he ll be behind the bars for being the cause of suicide ..the lawyer had said that this needs to be attended very carefully else it will spoil all our 3 lives..he said even now if she goes to police his whole family,my family and her family will be pulled to station and after that only they ll decide ...He also said there are lots of such cases in which the guy involved was brutally kicked and tortured in the station without even filing a case ...He also said that it can become a problem to us if she gives a false complaint as rape and it seems s*x with the promise of marriage has also a section in IPC ..he asked kishore not to marry anyone before getting this sorted and also told me to wait only if that lady shows sign of moving out else he asked me to move out of this ....kishore lost all his hopes of our winning..now he is worried about my life and asking me to move on with my life and marry someone else and get settled happily .. he is all broken and says his life is finished and has nothing much left to live ....he says he ll marry her if she forces else he ll remain a bachelor all his life and live with my memories ...i have no heart to leave him but he is forcing me to part and move on ,else my life will unnecessarily get ruined as she is one psycho and will ruin my life .... we wanted to handle this smoothly without having to face any legal consequences thats why we decided to wait for her to go out but looks like it will never happen ...we dont want to burden our families by making them stand in the police station for our sake and cause shame to them who did no mistakes..they cant face all that pain ...and i cant see my guy being beaten up by the police and be treated like a criminal ...he is not a criminal after all...he is very successful in everything else be it studies or career ..he works in a good firm in a respectable position and cant afford to have criminal complaints or FIR on his name as it may lead to termination as per the company's policies ..the only blunder he did was loving her truly all those years, bearing all her torture and mistakes..he was so much forgiving when any other guy would ve thrown her into the bin...he is regretting that now but unfortunately its too late ...Its a pity that the law is so much in favor of women even if the mistake is on them,being a woman myself i hate it . Looks like we ll be parting very soon though we love each other madly ...This problem is sucking the life out of us....Guess We lost!
Anyways thank you all for the time and concern.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate) 23 January 2012

Have you got married to this man?

Is there any legal bar on you not getting married elsewhere or are you legally bound to spoil your life for this duo.

Don’t you think that you are volunteering to a suffering which you do not deserve?

Don't you think that you are adding to complications?

You are well advised that the moment you marry him he will be in Jail either as abettor of suicide or for rape charge. Is your family willing volunteer for this insult