Please advice

@ Shreeya:  These six months are crucial for you.  If it is his intention to spend two years to strengthen his case in court that desertion had taken place, he will send Divorce notice to you.  Though you trust him, there are some loopholes I find.  Why he is hiding information about his whereabouts to you?  You are his wife after all.  What kind of relationship it is that a wife does not know even the address of her husband?  You are such an innocent person still thinking good about him saying he is diamond.

 

But for next 6 months shall i continue my studies ? where should I go ? His parents house ? 

Even I go I dont think they will allow me to stay with them. I visited 2 times their native 2 years back that time, I was feeling like a value of dog in that house. They did not even ask me how I am while I was having fever that time.

Also I have not done desertation or something like that. I am here with my parents to complete my studies, so how can it be a desertation. Although he does not invite me to come on weekends or in vacation also he does not visit, its his fault or you can say my fate..

 

1. What I need to do to make my stance strong & correct and not give chance to have divorce.

 

2. What all & how I need to collect evidence of his second marriage if it has happened ? Although it my outer mind which is eating me..

3. Please tell me whether I can file maintainance case presently. I am a student, my father has made payment for my education & admission for my MSc. Also I stay at my fathers home.

 

If I file maintainance case maybe he can come back to me..

You can file for maintenance under Sec.125 Cr.pc or under DV Act also.  To know the whereabouts of your husband is the duty of your near and dear, like yur father, brother etc.  If you do it, you feel bad about yourself that you are suspecting him.  So it is better they do it for you.  Appointing some Detective agency for the task will do. 

Other option is take the help of women's cell to arrange for mediation between his parents and you.  Once his parents are there, he will also come there for negotiations. 

We heard enough of wife's side and I feel sorry for her but let's try to understand the husband's behavior and come to some solution. Wife has leukoderma. It's not lethal, is not carried to partner but it can be carried to children (there's 25% chance of that). Also it carries mental and social stigma. I know several people with leukoderma who hesitate to go out to functions etc. Wife and her parents hide that fact from the husband for the reason that she has to get married somehow and has 3 more sisters to be married. It's not justified to say he should have enquired and see the girl 10 times. No one can predict all diseases or conditions and keep asking and enquiring about them. It's girl side's moral responsibility to inform of the conditions known to persist at the time of negotiations. So it's natural that husband feels cheated and probably he's blaming his parents too for this. And not telling his address is obvious, he doesn't want you to disturb him in any way. I'd not be surprised if he changes his mobile and altogether disappears. It's clear he does not want you. From what you said, he's a smart looking and merit holder guy so it's natural he does not see you as a fit for him which I feel will find many supporters. The option in front of you is that have one final talk with him. Take him to a reputed dermatologist and get the consultation. See if your leukoderma can be arrested. Leukoderma will spread all over your body eventually since you are still young. So he might have strong objections to it. Know exactly what he wants. If he still wants to separate (based only on leukoderma), no point in holding on to him because he'll have the feeling that you got him by cheating and he's bound to mistreat you throughout life and you will never earn his love. If he does not want you, just separate, forget him as you are not made for each other and mistakes have been made. Find another partner who loves you for what you are. Good luck.

I agree with amit. Husband-Wife relationship is not a BLOOD-RELATIONSHIP. It basically is based upon TRUST. If u have concealed something from him & he feels trapped in ur game, he must have lost TRUST in u n believe me TRUST is the lifeline of this relationship.

Howsoever trivial a physical defect may be, we can not force somebody to accept it as such, its all subjective. For some ppl color does not matter much, for others hight, for others caste n u may add on & on.

So.....as amit has advised, make a final call in the interest of ur whole life. D not get depressed at all. U may find some good partner who does not believe in LEUCODERMA is a big-deal!

 

I will stay in temple for my whole life but I will not give divorce. 

 

I have told him that my condition will not be carried to his childrens, I even proposed him surrogate mother, but he just does not respond to anything. He should think about it. 

His father has also heart disease it is some much problem that his father cannot even walk 50 metres, STILL WHEN he will have heart disease some years later, I will accept na, then why he does not accept me. It is on me from childhood, from me it has will spread to his parents neither it will spread to his childresns i guarantee.

 

He should also understand Leukoderma is not cancer or aids that he should avoid me like this.. I am very much fit to give him sweet childrens, so many cases are there, where couples are beatifull but no childrens.

 

My father got married to my mother she also had leukoderma so he did not make life & has 4 beautiful daughters ? What social status you are talking about ? As a human only needs only food, water & sheltar.

 

Let him scream 1000 times that I or my parents or my uncle and aunties have cheated him. My parents, my uncle & my aunties are like GOD they have not cheated him NOT CHEATED HIM............... God know WE HAVE NOT CHEATED HIM. Its his fate. I will not accept false blame on my family. If he wants divorce let him come & get divorce in whatever way he wishes. 

Before marriage we did not invite them to come to see me. They only got our no from internet & they only called. Why should I suffer for no fault ? Already I am having sleepless night & he is enjoying & hesitating to take my calls ?

 

Last 2 years I am suffering like anything. I am feeling like hell after marriage. His & his parents behaviour has no limits.

Why he did not come to me before marriage and ask about whether I have leukoderma or not ? Why his mother did not take in room & check me by removing saree ? Did he marry me with closed eyes ? If he & his parents did not see me properly is it my fault ? They will do mistakes me & my family should face social insult. I am still in my limits, IF HE IS A MAN let him try I will also show women power.

 

If Mr. X is impotent does Mr. X scream and tell ? What moral responsibilty you people are talking ? Instead of helping suffering women you are just hurting her is this indian society & culture ?

 

He is impotent that is why he is doing like this. He is not a straight man that is why he is doing like this. He works for a big software MNC & has hefty salary means he has right to treat us as dog with wife & my parents?

 

In case acid falls on aish in an accident does than mean abhishek & his parents leave aish ? 

Its his fate he should accept it.

I have cried on phone to him to come & take me with him. He is the one who is deserting me.

I am ready to touch & swear to any god he tells we have not cheated him.

Pure Indian woman.

Every experts has given you their view and solution. But why don't you understand.

We all understand your feelings But ultimate decesion have to opt by yourself.
 

 

I am sorry, I get very irritated by word cheating. 

I guess since you all are males are supporting him instead of giving me exact advice.

Have you told him about Leukoderma before marriage? Did he agree to marry you even after disclosing this?

 

If no, then it's cheating. But of course, legally speaking currently Leukoderma is not a valid reason for getting divorce but morally it's cheating.

Why he did not ask me before marriage? He has eyes or not ? What a girl wears when a guy & his family comes to see her a saree or t-shirt & trousers or in some inner wear ?

If I & my family & my relatives have done cheating then let him file cheating case against in court & let him come & prove it.

He is afraid because he did mistake, that is why he is running away from me & my parents like a thief. He is so much afraid that he does not visit his own parents.

 

I told him if he is a man let him come to my home I will also gather my relatives & ask why he is false blaming else we will come to his native & talk to his parents. After that only he became straight & talking sweetly.

 

He is afraid of talking to my father. I am having insult in society as everyone is asking me whereabout my husband? I am tired lie-ing all of them. I know he is playing game with me, so I & my family should have more & more insult in society.

 

I told him couple of times to come & finalise this issue, he is just afraid to visit my parents home. He is such an educated & talented man(?) then what is problem with him to resolve & just move on in life ?

If his sister had same problem would he had deserted her like he doing with me ?

If he is really a man what he is afraid of solving such a small issue ? When he met 6 months back he did not even touch me. I am sure he has impotency problem. Still I am ready to accept him as he is & ready to make life with him.

Why he is afraid of talking me with him as I cried & requested to come & take me to make life with me ?

 

He has ruined my life...

Yes, since you separated for 2yrs. It's time for him to finalize the issue.

As some one has said, may be he'll file a desertion case on you.

Wait for a while and see what happens. You can file RCR against him.

But ultimately you can't force him to stay with you. If you have good leads to suggest that he is impotent then get a divorce, plain and simple.

Marriage is game for you people ? What hell I will do for my whole life ahead ? Its his fault, I will not give divorce, even he begs in front of my house. He knows this better.

He is fearfull person, I dont think he has guts to file desertation on me, he only has deserted me.

Tell me how I deserted him, I have sent so many mails & sms & recorded voice that come & take me from my native with him.

 

I have given him surrogate mother option. If he is not ready its his fault na? He has no option than me. I am only worried if he does second marriage. Please tell me what should I to avoid him from doing second marriage ?