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syam ( )     21 November 2014

Provide advice how to stop divorce applied by wife

we got married in 2013 May . Marriage type (Inter caste and love and arranged marriage  ). Both are employees working in corporate organisations with medium roles . we both earn she (30000) , myself ( 15000 ). her parents run bussiness which i in loss every time . she give her money to her parents without intimating and she also taken loans without intimation to me and given to her parents and she started to pay emi every month . I dont have any bad habbits and i have given my salary to her every month by hand for maintainance. several times advices her not to do mistakes like loans. She does not lisen . Now a days situation made me disturb i asked and finally vexed with her loans (around 17000 we pay for loans from day 1 we got married ). i was vexed and started scolding her and her parents badly . she felt angry on me and she applied for divorce.  my intension is to  change her attitude but not to loose her. Please advice. she left my home and leaving with her parents from 4 months. applied divorce 2 days back with messages i have scoled.  her father put IP in vijaywada in past history due to bussiness loss. he brings call money (high interest rate and get loss) . please provide advice



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 12 Replies

praveen kumar (LEGAL MANAGER)     21 November 2014

Talk with her and sort it out. 

what ever she wants to do for her parents is her own accord and you may advise her but not force your decisions or understandings on her . this is applicable not just on your wife but in any relation. If you will try to force your judgements on any one be it your brother, father son etc. the relation will suffer and grow distant as has happened with your wife in your case.

First of all understand this - what ever she does with her money is her own peril & if you plan something for your future, appropriate your earnings accordingly. Let her mistakes, let her learn from it guide her but do not coerce.

Talk to her and ask her to come back to you.

May your love flourish and you live happily ever after !

All the best 


(Guest)

You are asking for advice.  Some gentleman has given appropriate advice and I second that advice.

But nobody does listen to advice given by others.  They will try to do their own thing and end up in a mess.  Everybody learns only through their own mistakes, barring a few who take other people's advice.  In case of a wife, they too dont take husbands advice, you may try, but she wont take it, she will treat herself as a separate entity and you as another entity.  Thats the reason marriage fails.  Hope you your wife will get convinced by you.  All the best.

1 Like

kilimanjaro (md)     22 November 2014

Originally posted by : Helping Hand !

In case of a wife, they too dont take husbands advice, you may try, but she wont take it, she will treat herself as a separate entity and you as another entity.  Thats the reason marriage fails.  Hope you your wife will get convinced by you.  All the best.

HELPING HAND 

Just wanted to know where and how did you get this much of GYAAN ?

SuperHero (Manager)     22 November 2014

@Syam - By Scolding her or telling her in Anger she will become rebel and She is earning which gives more independence and freedom, thinking she can live independently.

Never take Women for Granted. Meaning what ever you do they will be under you.

First Go to her and Give her a Hug, No words for some time and after that mention I miss you. Like a Cinematic show. :) Then tell what you have to tell..

Once you have Kids, they will take care the rest.

For any one Life is the biggest teacher.

They will not listen to Husband's nor Wife's advice, but will listen to all other in the World.

@Helping Hand - Your advices or suggestions are always thoughtful.

syam ( )     24 November 2014

But being a son if i am spending for my family... she say that i am wasting money. she written fir with details saying that i have scoled her and i am spending money to my family ... Is that a mistake,

Ofcourse She is earning more than me . But my wife support there parents she dont let me to spend a rupee to my people. If i spend she scoled me .

I have used her credit card and giving money to her every time i use y hand. but she kept proof as i had wasted her money using credit card transactions. I dont know how to use this internet banking .So i  given my salary to her hand . 

before keeping case there parents came to my house they scoled me brutally and warned me saying that my caste was low , i should be at there foot ... i cried but they did not lisen they warned my parents also.

some of my fri asked me to put ST/SC case . but i dont want this issue to be big . So i kept silent and i want my wife come back. but couple of days back she applied divorce and 498A on me and my family.

is it not possible to apply ST/SC case now. So that she may realise her mistake and come back to me . She had my messages as proof i scoled her when she given loans to her parents and spoiling relation between ours.

How can i prove SC/ST case , i dont have any proof . There her and her parents and my parents my brothers and me  are there in house at that time. they came to beat my father , my father was 65 years old. we are common people waiting for justice.


(Guest)
Originally posted by : syam

But being a son if i am spending for my family... she say that i am wasting money. she written fir with details saying that i have scoled her and i am spending money to my family ... Is that a mistake,

Ofcourse She is earning more than me . But my wife support there parents she dont let me to spend a rupee to my people. If i spend she scoled me .

I have used her credit card and giving money to her every time i use y hand. but she kept proof as i had wasted her money using credit card transactions. I dont know how to use this internet banking .So i  given my salary to her hand . 

before keeping case there parents came to my house they scoled me brutally and warned me saying that my caste was low , i should be at there foot ... i cried but they did not lisen they warned my parents also.

some of my fri asked me to put ST/SC case . but i dont want this issue to be big . So i kept silent and i want my wife come back. but couple of days back she applied divorce and 498A on me and my family.

is it not possible to apply ST/SC case now. So that she may realise her mistake and come back to me . She had my messages as proof i scoled her when she given loans to her parents and spoiling relation between ours.

How can i prove SC/ST case , i dont have any proof . There her and her parents and my parents my brothers and me  are there in house at that time. they came to beat my father , my father was 65 years old. we are common people waiting for justice.

You both treat yourselves as not ONE but as different entities.  She is different entity and you are another entity.  Your marriage wont last long, it will be only on paper.  She is woman, so she make use of all the laws which are of course lenient towards her against you.  For you no other option to face all the cases based on merit.  Nothing else.


or 


DO one thing, go ask apology to wife.  Saying sorry [whether you mean it or not who cares?] is easier than roaming to court for next 7-8 years.  Maybe she forgive you.  Make her understand that you love her.  May be she will understand your love and affection and take back all cases.  Lead happy marital life.  Advice provided.  Its now up to you.  Its your life/wife anyway.

SuperHero (Manager)     24 November 2014

Common Friend Wake up. It is not too late.

 

You gave her money and you used your Credit card for transactions because you don't know Internet Banking.

 

Now you are coming Online and posting this in a forum. Wake up !!!!!

 

Yours is a Love marriage and she knows your Weakness..as mentioned by Helping Hand in another post.

 

Provide your Parents a separate accomodation and support them. Be Brave enough and have the courage  to face hurdles.

 

Even if she files 498a or DV she has to prove it and the Police will do there investigation and then only arrest you. That takes years.....

 

The best advice is given by Helping Hand. Make a deal with your wife.

Anusha (Software Engineer)     11 December 2014

Sir / Madam , 

My wife Kept SMS as proof in 498A case and divorce , that i am asking dowry.

But i did not kept any SMS regarding the Dowry . when she left me without any information i came to know her plan,  i verified those past SMS from Network people then i came to know that she kept scheduled SMS using my phone when ever phone is available.

When she left me i scolded her with bad words. She also used that SMS and audio and filled FIR on me and my family. 

With god greece after investigation , investigation officer has removed A4 from list. I dont have doubt that remaining people also get released becasue all she kept is fake proofs i can prove in court.

But how can i prove that i did not kept that SMS . Because SMS proof is mine and i am using it from  last 5years.  but phone i am using is wife gift to me on my birthday.

1) how can i prove that i am not kept that SMS. by seeing that SMS even investigation officer also scolded me without lisening to me.  There parents are highly influenced . ?

 

syam ( )     11 December 2014

Please advice how to overcome this problem.

she should come back to me and we lead happy life.

How can i say to court that she kept scheduled messages without knowing me . ?

syam ( )     15 February 2015

Hi Sir, after 3 mths of time , my wife messages me and asking me and my parents to sign in police station as bond . I asked why should i sign ? . She replied i have kept case on u and ur family  ,it could be life treat to me... so i am asking u and ur parents to sign in police station as agreement . I said that if you have faith only come else no need i will go to court. she is continuosly message me regarding this... please advice what should i do...but my friends adviced me not to sign anywhere which is not safe, might ur wife keep u in risk... 

please advice what should i do..i replied to my wife as i wont keep any sign , if u have faith and trust you can come i will forgive ur mistake. will live life separately.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     01 May 2016

refer your latest thread

 

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/details.asp?mod_id=112733&offset=2#.VyU1dSFMzwo

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     01 May 2016

refer your latest thread

 

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/details.asp?mod_id=136203&offset=2#.VyU2ySFMzwo


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