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(Guest)

Strange case

i am posting this after hearing my cousin's matter. 

i have returned now from UAE and this matter has shocked our family. being  a relative we do not even know this much has happened. please advise. i am giving brief descriptttion. i have jotted down on a sheet and am producing it here. please advise.

in 2005, he got married to a woman who was working in a mnc. sincerely ( i call him emotional fool ) he has opened bank account for her, paid her post-graduation exam fees, got add-on credit card, all within six months. i always used to tell him that people should earn their respect and love. but he would say he is sensitive.

in 2006, she gave birth to a baby boy and fourth day the boy has died.

the father of the girl said it was jaundice, but hospital doctor says choking. upon questioning they said while feeding milk, the child blurped and no one was immediately around and the milk choked the child.

but my cousin says he doubts the child was killed since he raised objection to the girl's mother not caring properly and ants were on hospital bed near child.

then, same year 2006, the girl goes home during navaratri and does not return.

my cousin saw for two months and then upon someone advising, he has sent a legal notice which says she has not returned and that she has to return.

within few days, she appoints one advocate, sends a reply notice citing all pack of cooked up lies, follows up with police complaint, pulls him to the police station under dowry harassment, without court order, takes back all her items and jewellery and goes away.

within one week, her advocate calls my cousin, he goes to his office, there a mutual consent divorce is demanded and money is demanded.

This fool cousin of mine, has agreed and same year 2007, she changes to a leading famous woman advocate of bangalore, used some NGO free lancer to threaten him again over phone demanding a site but he has refused and applied for mutual consent divorce, paid her few lakhs, obtained divorce by mutual consent as per time-frame and in 2008, it is all over.

easily he has let her go and her family go away after such serious tricks.

the worst part is she has lied under oath to the court that she was unemployed but we now found out using our contact that she was employed at that time.

the biggest discovery was that her sister who married a christian and she too might have converted to christianity since she has never fetched any of her school records whenever asked. i raised my suspicion that she might be a christian and hinduism marriage was also fraud. not doing background check was a huge blunder. they agree now but say it is too late. how can it be too late. the law can catch anytime. 

now

1) my cousin says he agreed to MCD and alimony since he wanted to prevent 498 A and other acts. i call  him a fool who lost a easy battle. what do you learned counsels say ? do you agree with him as clever or with me that he is a fool.

2) he says he doubts the child was killed. it is 8 years over now. can such a case be re-opened ? can an investigation be started ? i spoke to one advocate over phone in bangalore and he says it is very difficult. but another advocate says on grounds of suspicion she can be called for investigation but she can deny and neatly turn it on him saying he is harassing. 

3) i spoke over phone to the same famous woman advocate whom that girl had approached. i told her about the case and she says " lie to court under oath " about her employment can be taken up but in today's scenario, chances are high that court will say ' it is anyhow all over. just move on'.

but how to ' just move on '. are men so weak that they justify with philosophical statements ?

i am proud my husband and i stand for rights. if we do not fight, will our neighbour fight for us ?

but , practically in india, as one advocate nicely said, courts are not only centres of justice but also centres of delay.

so, in my cousin's case, what is the advise by you learned counsels ?

4) how to find and obtain records if she was converted to christianity before marriage ? what is the procedure ?

5) her brother is now a journalist and has contacts with so many dirty elements of society. this is one more road-block in this case.

over-all, this is too much of cheating. by her entire family with their criminal thinking.

second marriage is another thing. i am also searching for him. but divorcee means parents of women are hesitating.

so much of mental agony because of all these. but he still maintains that what he did was wise at that time.

please advise for the five points above.

Thanking you

soujanya vishwas



Learning

 6 Replies

SuperHero (Manager)     03 November 2014

Hello,

I am not a lawyer.. So this is my view....

When 498a case is filed in those days(2006) there was an immediate arrest, no investigation recently Supreme court has given an order they shouldn't arrest and verify and then only arrest.(Lawyers please correct if I am wrong.)

At that time he was emotional and thought let her go away with money...instead of going through false cases, jail and courts. 

MCD is the easiest... in Indian Courts.... As you also mentioned Courts are delay centers. If you want to win the battle you should have contested the case and gone for trials.(Many years)

Moreover people don't want to discuss in those days and family support is very important.

Also Court believes only evidences.... There are several people in this forum who has mentioned the Spouse has cheated or adultery and going through a rough phase of life.....

If you open an investigation case, it has to go through many layers(Court, Police, Lawyers) and many years.....

I would rather say...think positively whatever has happened is for Good.

Look for the right Girl. Be Positive and HOPE.

If Money is Lost, Nothing is Lost.

If Health is Lost, something is Lost.

If Time is lost, everything is Lost. and I would add if Character is lost then everything is Lost..

Hope your Cousin finds some solace.

I see in 1970's - 2000's People where looking for a right guy. If he is good and doesn't have bad habits.

Now the reverse trend is going on.. Getting a right Girl is very difficult.

Also I am not saying all Men are good.

Every case is a Strange case. Invesitgation - Always the Choice is yours.

Pray to God and Almighty. Pray! Pray! Pray!..

 


(Guest)

but too much of crime.

but what you say, same thing, some advocates also say.

who is wise ? my cousin ?

or my justified anger ? my aunt and uncle are very good souls. to see their family in sorrow even after so many years, i am unable to control my tears.


(Guest)

I do empathise with you and your cousin.  This is clear case of cheating.  But there is no use crying now.  I agree that there have been mistakes done, right from marrying a student to what not.  But heart has its many ways.  Be emotional and take decisions, this is what will happen.  It should be a mixture of emotions and using logic.  What needed to be done, should have been done then, not now.  When there is time then only one should think of using it optimally.  When time is gone, nothing can be done.

It appears that you all were in deep sleep till now, had acute amnesia.

Its all over.

Wake up.

IF you dont have any other work to do, then you could do some circus in court, police station.


It appears that as the your cousin did not find suitable matches, the picture did not change and the mind is going back to same old things, wandering, trying to find answers for past mistakes etc.


What I suggest is, to find someone who is mentally compatible with and marry ASAP.

Loneliness kills.

Whats done is done, cannot be undone now.


IT was a wise decision to agree for MCD pay money and get rid of the headache.

As, contested divorce would have gotten over now, in 2014, if both would have contested the case, not to forget would have done sometime in jail too with false criminal cases. Again, its better to find someone mentally compatible and marry off now.


Being divorcee is not a social taboo anymore, the matrimonial market is filled up with lots of divorcees, search and you will find one.  No use pursuing the above explained matter in court now.


Now whatever time is left, ask cousin to make best use of it.   You too stop putting all these stupid ideas into his head, let him at least recover from what had happened.  All the best.  Have a good life.

SuperHero (Manager)     03 November 2014

Helping Hand has given a beautiful Suggestions...

Wake Up.

From Swami Vivekananda - Arise Awake and Stop not you reach the Goal....

If you are travelling in a train do you remember all the passed stations...Common man there is lot of life....

If you keep on thinking about the same stuff.....your Mental and Physical health will get spoiled..

As you think So you become....

Several people married second time and are leading a Good Life....


(Guest)

as men, you all seem to think alike. as headache over.

as a woman, when i see it, i see the depth of trust being breached.

anyway, since lot of you  people say the same, so there must be wisdom.

although i am not convinced yet.

but he is the one who matters. we can only wish he had a happy memories of married life.

but nothing is lost for the one whose hope is alive.

he has lot of hope. i have lot of BP. after listening to the entire issue.


(Guest)

imagine.. he is now 37 years.

when he got married, he was 29 and i had just left for UAE after marriage a year ago.

now my daughter is already 8.

he has to start life now.

but yes, for a man, 37 is what ? nothing.

thanks for all of your time. will just send him this link. but including him, all of you have only spoken same thing.

may be that is wisdom and in my anger, i have not known.


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