I belongs village with middle class farmer family in Maharashtra, I am having job in Delhi, I got married in 2011. It was arrange marriage to girl near my village. She was educated to BA n her father is farmer n family condition is average. Our financial condition is better compare to her. Therefore, I married to him as I was expecting that she will be simple n can be easily adjusted in my family & will be good housewife. First 4 month after marriage my life was normal as like other marriage. After 4 month I have taken my wife with me to Delhi, and then she started showing her true color. She started arguing daily with me on small issue and telling that she wants to go to her father’s home. But I regularly tried to convince her but she never understood. She cook very bad, don’t want to keep home good clean and when I go to office, whole day she takes rest/ sleep ( around 13-14 hrs/day). As she doesn’t want to work like normal housewife. After some time, I got to know that she was failed in BA final year n also failed one year in 12th. They also lied that she got very good marks (above 65 % marks) in 12 n 10 th. But actually she was marginally passed in 10 & 12th exam. But neglected this issue as she & I don’t want to do any kind of job. Then she has started doubting unnecessarily on my character regarding 2-3 neighbor ladies to whom I hadn’t spoken single word. Initially I ignored her behavior that she must be possessive/ caring about me & that is why she is acting so. Her family was guiding him against me to how to mentally torture me. After one year, I got transferred to Mumbai - near to my home, as my job is field job - for 9 month I have to stay in Mumbai & rest 2-3 month I have to go official tour outside Maharashtra. During 9 month period in which I stay in Mumbai I was keeping her with me in Mumbai but after every 2-3 days she fights with me on unnecessary issue & says that she want to go her father’s home. But I requested her to stay calm as I was expecting that as soon as time will pass she will understand her responsibility & she will behave normally but her behavior remained same. When my 2 month tour period came & in which I had to go Delhi. In that period I have kept him my home. But she started fighting with my family on silly issue. We didn’t harassed or beaten her. My mother treated her like daughter but she doesn’t want to live with my parent. She doesn’t want to help my mother n bhabhi in daily work. She started to argue with mother n bhabhi and pressuring me to come home & take him with me. If I do not so, she will commit suicide. Then my brother had taken her to her father’s home for some day. Then after some day when I came to my home. Her uncle & cousin came to my home with my wife, we told them about her strange behavior of her, and then they apologized to us about her behavior and assured us that she will not behave in such way. But she continued her non cooperating behavior. After every 2-3 days she finds new issue & starts arguing with me. Now I have a daughter, she is one & half year old. I was thinking that she will behave properly as our daughter will grows. I hired one maid (bai) to help her in daily work. As there is only 3 person in my family – I, wife n daughter. But there is no improvement. When I go for weekend to my home after every 1 or 2 month. She don’t want keep my daughter at my home or anybody in my family should touch my daughter.
I am having good salary, Since last three year, I have fulfilled all his demands like sari, clothes, jewelry as I wanted that my wife should be very happy therefore I fulfilled her all demands keeping my needs apart & to become perfect husband . As her relatives, aunties, cousin sister, bhabhis even my own family ladies don’t get such fascility. But her erratic behavior continues.
Again Last month, Due to official tour work I was outside Maharashtra. I have kept her to his father home for 1.5 month. Last week, when I came back from tour, I had taken her to my home. But she was not happy. She doesn’t want to live with me n was saying that she want to live her father home n stay there till her sister marriage which in December this year. On next day she purposively blame/alleged that, I & my bhabhi are having suspicious relation. Due to this incident everybody in my family shocked because I & my family doesn’t expect that she can go such low level. Due to this my mother, bhabhi was crying whole day that what a lady this is!! Everybody in my family saying that she had purposively done this because she don’t wanted to live here & work in my home & just wants to go to her father’s home & have rest there. She has taken undue advantage of polite & simple behavior. I felt very ashamed that my wife can fall such low level & can do such things to me… Same night I taken her to her father home with my daughter. I have discussed all this issues with her cousin brothers every time. They also agree that I (Jijaji) & my family are having no fault. It is there sister who commits mistake every time. It is her behavior since childhood that she doesn’t adjust/ cooperate with anybody either in her own family member or outside.
Since last 3 year, Singly, I have tried my best to save my marriage. She has tested my patience but now things are out of my patience and control. I don’t want to continue this relation with my wife. I want my Daughter back & I want divorce. So Pl advise how I can get divorce…
If divorce is not possible on this issue & she wanted to came back my home. Then Pl advise me that as she is (dhamki dena) saying she will commit suicide. But I am 100% sure she will not commit suicide as she is doing this only to frighten us. Is there any provision that I can take in writing/ legal way from her or her family that she will not do so or if she does so we will not responsible for this.
I have struggled throughout my life to get this job & position in my society. Now I feel, if my wife files false police/ court case on me then I am ready to face any situation. But I am afraid about my parent & family. They are innocent, I don’t want to drag them in this; don’t want they should suffer in this. As we are having very high respect in our village & society & I don’t want that due to my wife we will fill ashamed.
As I am from rural back ground, my English might be not good. But I just wanted to tell u that.
Maine apani shadi bachani ki poori koshish ki. Lekin meri biwi ne koi na koi karan nikalakar muzase alag rahane ki koshish ki hai. Aur wo iss had tak niche gir sakati hai ki usane bhabhi aur dewar ke pavitra rishte par shak (dout) kiya hai. Aab meri sahane ki takat khatam ho gayi hai. Usane meri sidhe pan ka bahun najayaj fayada uthaya hai. Aab main uasase alag hona chahata hoon lekin apani beti ko mere sath rakhana chahata hoon. To please muze suggest kijiye.main usase divorse kaise lu ya agar divorce nahi ho sakata to koi aur rasta bataye. Jisase main sabase pahale apane parents, bhaiya, bhabhi aur badame khud ko safe kar sako aur kisi police aur court case main na phas sako.
