Divorce
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 06 January 2019
This query is : Resolved
Dear Lawyers,
I am married since 9 years, since almost 3 years I and my husband are not in good terms. And since almost an year we are not living as husband and wife. Couple of months before he has asked me for Divorce. I took time to decide on and now I have also decided to go ahead with divorce. He is not agreeing to it now. Instead, he is telling he would accept his mistakes and improve. Every time this fight used to happen he is been telling the same and never stuck to it. Now I dont have confidence in him that he will change and I also made up my mind that I want divorce.
Now the child is with him. I am at parents place but they are also not supporting me now and asking me to go back to my marital place.
Please guide me how to proceed ahead with divorce. I dont know if court gives me justice as I dont have any evidences. I am talking to a lawyer but the lawyer is asking for evidences for proceeding with contested divorce or to convince my husband for a mutual divorce. I dont think he will agree as I used to do a lot of help to the family including take care of home monthly expenses(I am working), household work and Child's education, taking care of him etc.,.
Now that I have to fight alone for my life and peace of mind. I dont have any evidence to prove that I have been undergoing this mental trauma but all these while I have succumbed everything. Please guide me to move ahead with divorce as he is not agreeing to it and I am not ready to lead this life anymore.
Vijay Raj Mahajan
(Expert) 06 January 2019
You're lawyer is right either you get evidence about his acts of mental cruelty or convince him for divorce by mutual consent.
Yes you can proceed with the divorce petition against him on the ground of creulty for now and as the case proceed and during mediation process in Family Court, the issue of divorce by mutual consent can be worked out as it happens in many cases.
Martin S.
(Expert) 06 January 2019
With child in husbands hands you might succeed in getting exparte divorce or even regular divorce in some 10 years time but what will you do taking divorce after 10 years already 9 years over for you in this marriage. add 10. After 19 years of marriage you will find someone to cling on with alimony issues and child issues ??
Just think about it. Its worth taking divorce if it is first 1 year of marriage or 2 years of marriage. You have lived married life a good 9 years.
Now going for divorce is like waking up too late when bed itself is burnt and yourself got burn injuries. One should sleep, but not so much.
On one hand you say your husband unwilling to give mutual divorce.
He also is unsure if he will get some girl in case divorce granted by family court.
You have left off the child at husbands place or you were kicked out, all this to prove in court will take lot of time, one permanent lawyer you will need, he will tell file this case that case etc to harass the husband so that he will agree for mutual divorce and pay you some monney so that you can pay his fees.
All that wont work out.
You do some set up. Taking divorce is no use. Adultery has been decrminalized by Supreme Court recently which dilutes the essense of marriage. Its really no good to marry due to that judgement of Hon SC.
And taking divorce, particularly in your case is not easy. And you have lost so much of your jawani behind this marriage.
You can at the most go for some set up and find a good friend who can support you, knowing all your back story and thereby force your husband to himself ask for divorce on basis of you having some link outside of marriage. In case he files for divorce on those grounds or any ground, you simply agree for divorce and take divorce even if he does not pay you anything as alimony. Leave the child with him and take visitation rights from Family Court and dont go for custody, child is seen as baggage by prospective men who would want to have links with you.
Dont fall for the advices of some advocate who asks you to file false cases on husaband and demand huge 1 time alimony which you will not get as you have left your yekka card 'A' card with husband. In case you had taken the child with you and came then you could have played alimony case till the day your husband commited suicided or died. But now maintenance getting also very bleak chances.
That is pretty much a good advice which covers most might be situations which you might face. Think about what I have said and if you want some other advice come back..
Martin S.
(Expert) 06 January 2019
This I forgot to tell. You may note down. You file immediately Restitution of Conjugal rights case based on whichever caste you belong. If hindu, under Hindu Marriage Act. If others under special marriage act and dont file any alimony etc case. Just fight this case and see to it that the case is finished within 1 year from date of filing. Wait for 2 years from the date of RCR case gets decreed and file Divorce case based on winning of RCR case, you will get divorce even if your husband does not agree to give you divorce in max 2 years (if your lawyer is honest one).
Thats all about it. Good luck lady.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 07 January 2019
Pls don’t post as AQ and post with your ID and you can get many responses.
Your ID does not mean your email id or phone number etc and don’t post these.
Before attaching any document erase all names, logo, email id, phone number, address etc to maintain confidentiality.
Obtain proper legal opinion in writing from LOCAL counsel specializing in concerned field of law.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 07 January 2019
Your own LOCAL counsel has suggested as per your narration.
If you can workout MCD on reasonable/amicable terms then your spouse may agree.
Probe and try to find what exactly your spouse would want to offer you and expect from you.
