divorce

Querist : Anonymous (Querist) 09 February 2010 This query is : Resolved
Hi all,
I got married in the year 2003 in kerala.I was working in mumbai at that time. Immediately after marriage my wife and her parents came to leave her in nasik where they stayed for 1 week with us.My wife was in nasik and i used to come once in a week for 2 days. Within 2 months she conceived post our marriage. Whenever i used to go to nasik she always wanted me to leave my job and go to kerala with her. for me it is very difficult as i was born and brought up here and i do not know read and write malayalam. Also the salary that i used to get here would not have been possible there. However her mom used to call me and tell me that there are offer letters for my wife that has come in their house for government jobs so i need to take her there in kerala from mumbai for interviews.

7 month of her pregnancy : We took her to kerala for her delivery and I came back
Child passed away : within 2 days of birth
Within a week of the above : my brother in law met with an accident and was seriously injured(22 yrs)
Wife: Always used to ask me for financial help to help her parents. Arranged for money thru my parents
Wife: wanted all the jewellery that she has got from her place in her hands was not ready to keep it in a locker in the bank in nasik under her name. Wife: did not want me to ask for any opnions from my parents for anything.
Mumbai: I got her to Mumbai in 2006 to live me in Mumbai, before that I had taken a flat in front of my parents flat for her for maintaining her privacy
Wife: wanted me to ask for property division
Wife: did not want me to stay with my younger brother
In laws: came to Mumbai to stay with me from kerala post my brother in laws death in 2008.
In laws: always questioning me where I go when I will come why I come late. Also they used to tell me that I need to leave my parents and live on my own. My parents are in Nasik and I am in Mumbai . They never came to leave with us. Her parents can stay with us however my parents cant. Once during arguments she kicked me in front of her parents . Her mom did not say any thing and told my wife that I may be having a relationship outside and told my wife lets go from here and when he comes to kerala we will show him.
Also as I used to come early morning from my shift at 4:00 and then go to sleep she used to get up at 5:00 and not switch off the lights till she goes to work in a near by school. Had requested her numerous times to keep her things ready in the night and the passage also had mirror for her to dress up . However she used to do this daily leading me to live separately for 15 days. She used to purposely to kick my foot as I used to sleep down when getting ready . Not a single sorry for doing it intentionally or unintentionally
Wife: left house in 2009 jan . I was called in may 2009 for talks where she insulted me in front of 20 relative from both sides saying that I was not a man. During this time her uncles came to my house when my parents were in kerala and threatened my parents with dire consequences if I don’t come and take her. I came back to Mumbai without her and was called in October 2009 for talks with our catholic priests. Nothing worked positively and I came back alone as the priest who was doing the counseling was there family friend and he was insisting me to take her to which I refused.
Now we have received a letter in nasik from kerala threaten us to take her back or the girls of our relatives would be raped.

Dowry: no dowry taken from them. They had given us 1 lac to which my wife insisted that I give it to her with the interest . The jewelry that she had got has been mortgaged and the clear reasons are not know to me.

Would require your help in how do I go about in filing a divorce

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R.R. KRISHNAA (Expert) 09 February 2010
It is advisable that you and your wife meet a family counsellor and discuss openly the problems and take the advice of the family counsellor. This would be a chance for both of you to correct any mistakes in you. Your wife also may correct her mistakes. Please note that taking legal proceedings (divorce) is easy but an adjustable life with your wife will keep you happy. Try to adjust with her and live. Make her feel your need and love. Only adjusting couples (husband and wife) succeed in matrimonial life. I advise you to adjust with your wife. But if you feel there is no compatibility and life is miserable and not able to adjust with her, then I suggest you to discuss with your wife and apply for mutual consent divorce.

Raj Kumar Makkad (Expert) 09 February 2010
I do agree with Krishnaa

Jayashree Hariharan (Expert) 09 February 2010
Try counselling from independent people, and not any priests, as you say they are known people. Consult a family counsellor, try to cope up. If not at all possible, then go in for divorce. Divorce, especially mutual consent is very easy. Hope you have all the evidences intact.

Guest (Expert) 09 February 2010
i do agree with Mr Krishna.

divorce

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