Cheating on the promise of marriage
Saranya
(Querist) 13 October 2014
This query is : Resolved
Hi All,
I am a girl and i was in a relationship with a guy for 6 years. He gave me the promise of marriage and right now backed off saying his situation doesn't permit him to marry. This may sound like a most prevelant case, but there was no sexual relationship involved thought physical intimacy was there. Now I am 28 years old and in a pressurized situation to settle down but have limited time to move on.
Three years back when the step for marriage came up we sat down and discussed how to handle things as he is a Brahmin and I am a BC. I made it clear that once i sit waiting for him trusting him he cant change his decisions as and when he needs. So much said from the beginning his parents were creating problems and looking for means to stop the marriage. And with much effort they agreed and dates were fixed and my parents had informed our relatives when his parents asked to stop the marriage stating 'Jathagam' problems. Now even the guy states that and says that he is not ready to marry me. This came as a huge blow to my family and parents have fallen sick.
Apart from all this even when talks for going on for marriage between our parents this guy used to abuse me with words. Once it goes beyond a limit and i retaliate he used to say sorry and sat it was due to anger. As any girl who sacrifices i assumed it to be the pressurized situation that is making him to behave that way and braved through the mental torture as well to be finally ditched.
The points i would like to note here and seek legal advice is for the following:
1) I am not looking forward for a way to marry him, but to make him and his family answer for my wasted years and the mental torture that me and my family have been through for the past 6 months.
2)With the trust on his words for marriage i have waited till my 28 years and avoided many nice alliances that came my way.I need him to answer for my wasted life.
3) Even though physical relationship was absent he has done phone sex and online video chats with me, which has made it difficult for me to move on and think about another marriage as this has a huge impact on me.
4)I have become hysterical and not able to handle my emotions and anger. He needs to pay for my current state.
5) In a country where discrimination is prohibited, his parents have made a false promise to get me married to their son and discriminated based on the caste system.
6) As he had asked for time to convince his parents, i resigned the job i had at hand and went abroad for studies and right now sitting in a huge debt. As this might not directly have his fault, the emotional turmoils i am going through are his faults.
7) As his parents have discriminated me based on my caste and he has wasted my life and backed off saying he doesn't like me now, I would like to know whether it is possible in any ways to prohibit him from another marriage?
8) And also i would want the betrayal that he and his parents done to me known to their Brahmin society because of which they have rejected me and he has ditched me.
Looking forward to a positive response.
Jayashree Hariharan
(Expert) 14 October 2014
hi
monetarily, probably no resolution may come through.
If you have enough proof then you can try filing a case of cheating against him and his parents.
But as they have already said it is jathagam problem, you can try.
you have waited for six months after they informed you about the inability to get married, so you should explain for that delay.
Your case, as far as I gauge, purely should have proof.
all the best.
K.K.Ganguly
(Expert) 14 October 2014
1. Though all will have sympathy on you for the betrayalof your BF, there is no legal remedy apparantly found in your favour to punish him or his family members,
2. There is no evidence that he had promised to marry you & even if it is there, he has not taken anything from you based on making such false promise,
3. You should feel lucky that before marriage he has exposed himself. You would have been in further mess, had you come to know about his this side of the face after marriage,
4. Forget him and move on in your life. Most girls in Urban India marry at or after 28 years of age and you being a foreign edicated girl should not find it difficult to acquire your deserving position in your Society.
Guest
(Expert) 14 October 2014
Well Advised by the Above Experts. Expert Mr.K.K.Ganguly had posted a practical solution in his 4th para Precisely Advisable to be Followed
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 14 October 2014
Your wellwishers may suggest you no. of false cases which may be initiated against them. such cases would be having cooked up evidences, may not be accepted in court.
You would be wasting your time, money, mental peace on the cases. Another 4-5 years may be wasted and you may not be gaining any monetarily or any other benefit. You may get bit satisfaction that you tried to teach them lesson (successfully or unsuccessfully) and as a result you would lack behind your life till cases run. If you marry during this period, an embarrassing situation would arise before your new family for your past life.
You have the option to leave the subject, forget it and proceed in your life. Choice is yours.
Guest
(Expert) 14 October 2014
Once Again Well Advised. Hope the Author would Understand and Follow Please.
Saranya
(Querist) 14 October 2014
Thank you everyone for your solutions. I understand there is no practical way other than to move on.
Thanks a lot once again.
Guest
(Expert) 14 October 2014
All the Best. Be Bold and More Careful and Proceed in Life.
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 16 October 2014
The best practical advice by all the experts. Whatever has happened, it has happened for your good only. Go ahead for a new life.
T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate
(Expert) 18 October 2014
The experts have advised very properly leaving no room to enter except to say that you don't waste your time any further on such useless issues, instead, think of setting up a prospective future with a real and genuine guy.
