Blackmailing by wife
kumar
(Querist) 12 June 2015
This query is : Resolved
My wife left home town with two of kids age 6 and 12 saying she would come back after summer holidays. Soon after she went there stopped all communications did not allow to talk to kids, asked to talk through my sister who is married to her brother. My sister usually does not pickup phones due to fear and over burdened with household work. I had to really struggle to talk. I had made two return tcikets on which shet did not come back. Now schoold have my kids and tutions have also begin since a wekk but still she is refusing to come and threatening to kill me and my kid is ask her to come by force. I have old mother which she never took care treated worse than DOG. What are the steps my kids education is at stake due to her blackmailing, what steps to be taken. I am not wiling to get seprated since i think my brother in law, my mother in law and my sister in law have brainwashed her giving her shelter there shooting over her shoulders from back. I want to save my marriage since she is taking decisions undre influence taking shelter at her brother home. Pleae advise i am worried about my KID education, my mother and my family's future.
Dr J C Vashista
(Expert) 13 June 2015
Find out the root cause of the problem and take remedial steps including convincing her for the sake of career of children. Rope in some elders, relatives, common friends etc. and sort out the problem(s) without involving legal remedy.
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 13 June 2015
Make her to understand the repercussions of her behaviour by roping elders. Root is cause is your mother's presence in the home. You do not want to leave your wife. She will not come as long as your mother is there with you. You have to choose one out of the two.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 13 June 2015
Try to keep mum for some time.
Children education would suffer due to her attitude, no alternate but to bear.
Send letters (keep record)by courier weekly to comeback.
Take help from common family friends, relatives, effective people of the society.
kumar
(Querist) 14 June 2015
Thanks all of you. IS there anyway, i can issue notice to her and her brother, her sister and her mother of providing her shelter and influencing her, she has changed so much that she refuses to come and start asking for mutual separation, killing herself and my kids if i force her to come back, denying right to education of my kids for whom already i paid fees, even for coaching in Allen. I gave her option of me going out of home along with my mother, but still she refuses. I have said is she has any issues we can make an agreement legalize it, but she still refuses the same. I have sufficient evidences of events with me. But at the end i want my family back not getting into any other 498a complications etc. Now mother has also left home at the age of 66 trying to find shelter, so that my wife can come back.
kumar
(Querist) 14 June 2015
Basically untill she is not in neutral location without influences of her brother, her mother and her sister, she may not even think in right direction. IS there anyway i can seprate her from her brother, her sister and her mother who are mis guiding her. and Also some action under Right to Educations...Avoiding 498a complications which appears to be tool for women scoring against Men without any reasons or evidences..How do i protect myself and my mother and at the same time bring her back with kids..
kumar
(Querist) 14 June 2015
Thanks all of you. I am posting above two messages with STATUS as OPEN for further guidance's. Thanks. IS there anyway, i can issue notice to her and her brother, her sister and her mother of providing her shelter and influencing her, she has changed so much that she refuses to come and start asking for mutual separation, killing herself and my kids if i force her to come back, denying right to education of my kids for whom already i paid fees, even for coaching in Allen. I gave her option of me going out of home along with my mother, but still she refuses. I have said is she has any issues we can make an agreement legalize it, but she still refuses the same. I have sufficient evidences of events with me. But at the end i want my family back not getting into any other 498a complications etc. Now mother has also left home at the age of 66 trying to find shelter, so that my wife can come back.
Basically untill she is not in neutral location without influences of her brother, her mother and her sister, she may not even think in right direction. IS there anyway i can seprate her from her brother, her sister and her mother who are mis guiding her. and Also some action under Right to Educations...Avoiding 498a complications which appears to be tool for women scoring against Men without any reasons or evidences...How do i protect myself and my mother and at the same time bring her back with kids..
kumar
(Querist) 14 June 2015
IF she asks for separation, how in commercials worked out. I am jobless rightly but can take care if my family as ONE Unit while finding out JOB. My wife was in teaching 1st standard, do not know what she told in school for not returning back. When i needed the support most she has taken such decisions under influences. She never contributed to any of my property, rather whatever she earned i always said till i die you are not spending single penny for our family from your earnings, and she never did with meager salries of 9000/- per months, she is doing job only since last 3 years.
kumar
(Querist) 14 June 2015
I have one flat under Joint name, and another under my name and got some termination benefits with which i am running the family at present till i find a new JOB. Under such situations what would be the maintenance's for wife and my kids.
This is crisis for me since she is not even understanding and even creating further losses ( this year fees in schools, coaching classes, ext books all i paid already) for me by not coming back and demanding legal separation and commercials. IF family get split i cannot afford two families in two towns.. Hope you are able to grasp my pathetic situations... After reading through last three posts, please suggest your valuable guidances and steps that i need to take to keep Family as One UNIT and face challenges of life...
kumar
(Querist) 14 June 2015
Moreover my bother in law also threatened me, of killing me sending Gundas and killing my GURU Ji since i practice spirituality. In practice it is suggested that humans have to keep two wings of life materialistic and spiritual in balances.It does not mean leaving responsibilities of Society or family. .I have records of the same...My wife does not practice GOD or even Spirituality, lot of time i suggested her of taking up some devotion, GOD or Meditation but she doesn't. This is also one of the reasons she does not like of me...After reading through last four of posts, please suggest your valuable guidance and steps that i need to take to keep Family as One UNIT and face challenges of life...
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 15 June 2015
You are coming out with facts by one by one. You are jobless.
You are practicing spirituality.
Your brother-in-law also threatens you to kill you and your guruji.
You are not in a position to maintain two sets of family.
You do not source of income.
You are terminated from service and searching for job.
You are pressing your wife to adapt the spirituality in which you believe.
These are all the causes for her behaviour. Instead of blaming her and her family who are supposed to support her in crisis, better you have your introspection.
1. Why are you jobless.
2. Why your services are terminated.
3. Your belief in guru is at what extent. Is it within the permissible limits? How much time you are spending. Are you spending money for this activity.
All the relationships are based on the money. Once you do not have a permanent source of income, these problems do creep in any family. You are adding up to it with your spirituality and forcing her to come into your fold. She cannot put the future of children in your empty hands. If you are so keen to save the marriage, go to her and her maternal family and a dialogue. Assure them that you will find out solutions for the present situations. Try to get some continuous flow of income. It need not be the job only. Leave pursuance of your spirituality for some time, at least until the things are settled. You do not have right to force to believe in your Guruji. Change your attitude first, try for negotiation, assure them that their doubts are unwarranted, you have love and affection towards your family, the break of continuous income is only temporary and you are capable of maintaining your family. If required rope-in some common relatives, well wishers who can assure them on your behalf. Instead of intrspecting yourself, if you go on blaming the girl's family, you cannot find any solution. They are not wrong to support their girl when you are not in a position to maintain your family.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 15 June 2015
You repeatedly asked
“ i can issue notice to her and her brother, her sister and her mother of providing her shelter and influencing her,”
MERE WRITING OF THIS SENTENCE INDICATES THAT YOU ARE BORN AT WRONG TIME AND PLACE AND WOULD BE HAPPY IN TALIBAN REGIME.
YOU BELIEVE THAT WIFE IS PROPERTY AND IT IS CRIME FOR A BROTHER/SISTER/MOTHER TO TAKE CARE OF HIS/HER SISTER/DAUGHTER WHEN IN DISTRESS DUE TO TORTURE BY HUSBAND.
She is wife of an umemployed man and she just has income of rs 9000 p.m. her husband want to grab it on account of being unemployed (why you lost job/which job you lost/why you cannot drive auto rickshaw or a tonga/you did not tell)
IS THIS WANT YOU SO CALLED GURUJI TAUGHT YOU.
You said
“But at the end i want my family back not getting into any other 498a complications etc. Now mother has also left home at the age of 66 trying to find shelter, so that my wife can come back.”
THE WHY ARE YOU WORKING HARD TO GET 498A.
You said
“untill she is not in neutral location without influences of her brother, her mother and her sister, she may not even think in right direction.”
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY NEUTRAL LOCATION. WHY SHOULD SHE AT ALL BE AT NEUTRAL LOCATION. WHY AS A HUMAN BEING SHE SHOULD NOT BE AT A LOCATION WHERE SHE CAN GET MAXIMUM SUPPORT
WHERE DO YOUPROMOSE HE RTO BE AT YOUR SO CALLED NUETRAL LOCATION. AN ASHRAM/ NARI NIKETAN / OR JAIL.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY RIGHT DIRECTION
You said
“untill she is not in neutral location without influences of her brother, her mother and her sister, she may not even think in right direction.”
SO YOU DID NOT OFFER TO LIVE SEPERATELY WITH HER.
YOU SAID
“IS there anyway i can seprate her from her brother, her sister and her mother who are mis guiding her. and Also some action under Right to Educations”
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT A ANTIO-WOMAN LAW TO BE ENACTED TO SUIT YOUR FANCIES.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN RIGHT TO EDUCATION. DO YOU MENA TO SAY THAT IT IS ONLY BECAUSE OF LACK OF EDUCATION A LADY SEEK SHELTER FROM HUSBAND’S TORTURE.
DO YOU REALLY LIEVE IN 21ST CENTURY AND BELIEVE THAT RIGHT TO EDUCATION MEANS THAT A WIFE TO BE SEPERATED FROM HER PARENTS AGAINST HER WILL
ARE YOU LIVING IN INDIA IN 2015 OR IN A TALIBAN RULED STATE. ACTUALLY TALIBAN RULE PROVIDED JAIL FOR MANY WOMEN FOR LEAVING HUSBAND.
You said
“he never contributed to any of my property, rather whatever she earned i always said till i die you are not spending single penny for our family from your earnings, and she never did with meagre salaries of 9000/- per months, she is doing job only since last 3 years.
YOU ARE UNFOLDING ON INSTALEMENT BASIS. ONE LAYER BY ONE. DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GRAB THE MERE SALARY OF 9000 PER MONTH.
WHY YOU ARE JOBLESS. IT IS NOT SUCH A BIG CREDITWORTHY TO BE JOBLESS. WHY CANNOT A MAN EARN WHEN HAVING ALL FOUR LIMBS.
UNEMPLOYMENT IS A LUXURY FORSOME PERSONS
A PERSON HAVING FAMILY AND UNEMPOLPOYED AND GOING FOR SPRITUALITY [NO BETTER SINNER IN WORD]
You said
‘i practice spirituality.”
REALLY?
YOUR IDEAS DO NOT MATCH WITH THIS STATEMENT.
kumar
(Querist) 06 July 2015
Thanks for your responses to my posts. I think you all have misunderstood me, probably due to my inability to put my situation correctly. This what lead to call me Taliban etc..anyways..
1. I have resigned from services not terminated due to these very personal issues.
2. I have sufficient money to maintain same standards of living as we were w/o begging anybody in world for next 10 years. What I meant by having family at TWO different cities is, she went to different city i.e her brothers place and blackmailing me from there under influence of her brother and mother, which is unnecessary totally. Being an educated people should be in position to resolve matters within our HOME.
3. Practising spirituality is not a crime I believe, which most of my family members do nothing new now. I am not forcing her, all I am saying is she may even practise the same or have deviation towards GOD. etc
Which is our Indian culture, Values and Discipline.
4. For your information, I have already paid for all schools fees, donations and even extra coaching in ALLEN ( for IITs ) etc. for my sons for this Year. Even further years I do not have an issues for the same. Now is she remains with Kids at different city all this would go totally waste.
5. My Kids have not attending school since 3-Jun, she has taken them for vacation on 3-May to her Brother/Mother place and did not return. I made 4 to 5 tickets different dates, but initial two were no shows, last two my wife agreed to come back but her brother/mother to satisfy their egos did not allow and changed her mind at last minutes. IS this right ??.
6. Salary of wife never I touched and never even I know account numbers or does not have intentions to use the same in any future. I have sufficient funds/savings for surviving same standards of living for next 10 Years even. But that does not mean I would not work, I will work which my family situation comes back to normal by having my wife and kids with me in my City/Home. Otherwise I cannot do justice to my JOB either with such major disturbances in life.
7. I suspect my wifes brother/mother have brain washed her when she went there on 3-May and stooped all communication with me and did not even allow my kids to talk to me, after lot of pressure of month by me they started letting my kids talk to me for little while.
8. My prime concern is KIDS education should not be scarified for satisfying our egos. Here in my City/Home schools have started, coaching have started and KIDS have been hijacked there by my Wife under influences of Brother/Mother.
I will just keep this short though there are several points. Nothing like unfolding facts one by one. IN one shot it is difficult to put everything in writing.
Hope u got my situation. Pleas share your numbers I can explain you better. Need your guidance's.
kumar
(Querist) 06 July 2015
Please do not treat me like a CRIMINAL, without knowing complete facts and taking assumptions or presumptions. Sorry if I could not put them clearly earlier. I wanted to seek your guidance's not get victimized..IF you are not clear then please do post a question I would clarify the same asap.
I am not such a fool. I am Computer Engineer with MBA, but life is too bigger than just academics. I have worked aboard and given all that ONE father would want to give to KIDS or Husband to Wife or Only Son being to my Windowed Mother.
kumar
(Querist) 06 July 2015
Honestly speaking, I just want somehow way to get my Wife and Kids released from their Brother/Mothers HOME, where all of them together are blackmailing me.
IF there is no legal way to get them out of that HOME to my HOME, tell so clearly..
kumar
(Querist) 06 July 2015
At last only thing which I could do if no legal system support can solve such issues, is to leave it on Destiny and keep trying. But they are making me struggle to talk to my little kids even, this is real torture to me. Even my mother is not able to talk to them. Since they do not pickup phones.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 07 July 2015
"Please do not treat me like a CRIMINAL, without knowing complete facts and taking assumptions or presumptions. Sorry if I could not put them clearly earlier. "
THEN WHO WILL TELL THE FACTS.
YOUR OWN BEST DRAFTED DESCRIPTION OF FACTS IS BETRAYING YOU. IF SOMEONE HEARS VERSION OF YOUR WIFE THEN MUCH MORE HARSH REALITY OF YOU WILL SURFACE.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 07 July 2015
"I have sufficient money to maintain same standards of living as we were w/o begging anybody in world for next 10 years."
THEN WHY DID YOU START SERVING AT ALL. WHY DID YOU GO TO SERVE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.
IF YOU REALLY HAVE THAT MUCH MONEY THEN WHY NOT HIRE AN LAWYER AND ISSUE NOTICE TO ANYONE (WITHOUT ANY CAUSE) ON ANY MATTER ON EARTH AND PAY ANOTHER LAWYER HEAVILY FOR FACING CONSEQUENCES. WHY ARE YOU SEEKING FREE LEGAL AID.
मुफ्त के चंदन घिस मेरे नंदन
लम्बा तिलक लगा बाबा
पैसा कोई मांगे तो आगे आगे जा बाबा
IF YOU ARE SUCH A MONEYED MAN, BLESSED WITH SPIRITUALITY, THEN WHY SHOULD YOU BOTHER WHERE YOU WIFE RESIDES AS YOU CAN FULFIL DECENT MAINTENANCE FOR HER.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 07 July 2015
"Practising spirituality is not a crime I believe, which most of my family members do nothing new now."
PRACTICING SPIRITUALITY BY MAKING YOURSELF UNEMPLOYED AND BY NEGLECTING FAMILY IS CERTAINLY AN IMMORALITY.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 07 July 2015
Honestly speaking, I just want somehow way to get my Wife and Kids released from their Brother/Mothers HOME, where all of them together are blackmailing me.
IF there is no legal way to get them out of that HOME to my HOME, tell so clearly..
IF YOU REALLY THINK THAT YOUR WIFE AND CHILDREN ARE FORCIBLY CAPTURED BY HER BROTHER AND RELATIVES THEN APPROACH POLICE THEY WILL RAID THE HOUSE AND LET YOUR WIFE MAKE A STATEMENT IN YOUR SUPPORT.
A PERSON WHO CREATES A SITUATION THAT HIS WIFE HAS TO LEAVE HOME AND THEN THINKING OF SUING HER FAMILY MEMBERS FOR SHELTERING HER, IS FAR FROM SPIRITUAL PERSON. SUCH BARBARIANISM NEVER EXISTED IN INDIAN EVEN IN WORST TIME. NO RELIGION PRACTICED IN INDIA ALLOWS THIS.
IN TALIBAN RULED AFGHANISTAN IT COULD HAVE PERHAPS BEEN POSSIBLE FOR A HUSBAND TO GET HIS WIFE PUNISHED FOR ESCAPING HIS ATROCITIES.
YOU CANNOT HAVE YOUR FANCY FULFILLED IN LEGAL WAY. THIS IS NOT A FORUM OF GOONS.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 07 July 2015
"My prime concern is KIDS education should not be scarified for satisfying our egos. Here in my City/Home schools have started, coaching have started and KIDS have been hijacked there by my Wife under influences of Brother/Mother. "
REALLY?
IF CHILDREN EDUCATION WAS PRIME CONCERN THEN YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE CREATED SCUHA BAD SITUATION.
IF YOU ARE REALLY SERIOUS IN USING WORDS LIKE "hijacked" THEN APPROACH POLICE IMMEDIATELY.
A FEW DAYS STAY IN LOCK UP WILL SET YOUR FUNDAMENTALS CORRECTED.
kumar
(Querist) 07 July 2015
Thanks for your advices Mr Sudhir.
RIGHT is right and WRONG is wrong under any circumstances.
I do not want to BUY justice through MONEY as you suggested.
kumar
(Querist) 07 July 2015
Will go with suggestions of eminent elderly persons :- Dr JC Vashista and Mr Rajendra K Goyal and Mallipeddi Jaggarao.
IF any further guidance's needed will come back.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 08 July 2015
Will go with suggestions of eminent elderly persons :- Dr JC Vashista and Mr Rajendra K Goyal and Mallipeddi Jaggarao.
IF YOU CAN REALLY FOLLOW WHAT THEY SAID YOU WILL BE LUCKY.
YOUR OWN VERSION INDICATES THAT YOU ARE UNJUST.
NONE OF THESE EXPERTS COULD GIVE YOU ADVISE TO SUIT YOUR FANCIES OF TAKING ACTION AGAINST YOUR WIFE'S FAMILY FOR HAVING SHELTERED HER FROM YOUR ATROCITIES.
kumar
(Querist) 08 July 2015
Thanks for taking your time Mr Sudhir.
I will follow them and I will be Lucky.
Your Language, Pre Judging and asking me to buy Justice says All.
Everything in world is not Money, You would realize One day. T
GOD Bless You..
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 08 July 2015
"Your Language, Pre Judging and asking me to buy Justice says All."
It is your own description of facts which lead to inference against you.
Advocate Kappil Cchandna
(Expert) 13 June 2015
