Separate residence of my family
perumal
(Querist) 08 January 2012
This query is : Resolved
Respected Sir,
I am a software Engineer. I married my wife on 3.9.2009 and is working as a teacher. From the date of marriage I am living with my wife along with my 1) mother-in-law (working as a teacher), 2) my father-in-law (Tamil nadu Government Employee) and 3) my brother-in-law (unmarried and working in a private company), for the past 2 years and 4 months. Now, my wife gave birth to a male child on 26.12.2011 in a hale and healthy manner with 3 kg. weight.
1) I feel that I have lost my privacy, independency and right to express my views in the midst of the other 3 persons and living like a slave being in the joint family. They compel me to have my family separately in the same house by closing one door. I don’t like it.
2) I have to handover 80% of my monthly salary compulsorily to my wife and I should not ask any question about that. I have to beg before her or anybody for my pocket expenses etc., allover the month. My wife in turn doesn’t disclose her earnings.
3) Now after the birth of my son, I was not allowed to touch my son saying that any contagious disease will spread over.
I may kindly be clarified on the following points with reference to relevant section of the Act and Rules and my be advised what to do
1. Shall I put up my family i.e. my wife and son separately in a rented house in and around the location comfortable to me and my wife.
2. Will she object to this proposal and refuse to co-habit with me without her father and mother
3. Shall I be compelled to live along with their family jointly
4. Will she refuse to go with me for having a separate family
5. Shall I take my mother to have a help to my son in our absence.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 08 January 2012
Before answering your long list of questions can I ask a simple question which is relevant for replying all your questions?
Why did you accepted this arrangement of living as 'Ghar Jwayee' means living in the house of in-laws?
Your self respect has already lost. You need only to regain it and once it is assumed, you can do what ever think fit for the upliftment of your family. The situation raised by you is not connected with law rather it is a human behaviour. You convince your wife to leave that shelter home and live separately with full dignity and honour. You should convince her being a capable and competent full persons ready to face each eventualities then earn her faith. This is the only solution to your problems.
RAJU O.F.,
(Expert) 09 January 2012
Show the maturity of a grown up gentleman and have a separate family of yourown and you may have to face displeasure of your in-laws. Face it boldly and convince your wife that is the only remeady.
M V Gupta
(Expert) 09 January 2012
You discuss with your wife dispassionately your feelings to live separately. Being an educated woman she will understand and cooperate. If necessary you may take the help of your parents also who will broach the subject suitably with your in laws also. For the present no legal solution for the problem.
prabhakar singh
(Expert) 09 January 2012
You do not have a legal problem.Sort out things as suggested.
Deepak Nair
(Expert) 09 January 2012
The queries of yours are immature and meaningless. You are a man and you can do the needful. Be courageous and act yourselves.
if you don't like living there, go to your own house and take your wife with you. If she is not ready to come, then only there araises a reason for taking legal action.
Come back after doing the same if needed.
Don't be afraid of actig against the wishes of your in-laws. If you want to live seperately that is the best step taken by you.
If you are not ready to do so, then please don't come back to this site for any advise.
Shonee Kapoor
(Expert) 09 January 2012
It is not a legal problem.
Regards,
Shonee Kapoor
harassed.by.498a@gmail.com
perumal
(Querist) 09 January 2012
Sorry for wasting all your precious time.
Anyhow I would like have a solution through appropriate court and seek remedy.
A detailed history of my position is submitted herewith as an attachment.
Please kindly give suggestions.
Perumal.M
ajay sethi
(Expert) 09 January 2012
1)the biggest mistake you made was going and staying with your in laws .
2)why did you agree to such an arrnagement wherein you handover 80%of your earnings to your wife and she gets to keep her own earnings .
3) the problem is further compounded that your wife has given birth to a child .
4) since she is also working she would prefer to be with her parents so that they cna look after child while she is working .
5) dont suggest the idea of separate accomodation now . do it after child is older as under no circumstances will your wife agree now . she needs help with the child and will refuse to move now .
6) however if you are earning well and can afford full time maid servant for the child she may agree if you stay near her parents
Deepak Nair
(Expert) 10 January 2012
Yes. great suggestion by Mr.Ajay Sethi.
Deepak Nair
(Expert) 10 January 2012
Dear Perumal,
sorry to say that, more than legal actions, it is your decision that can decide your fate.
Why do you live in chennai? is it because your employment is in chennai?? then why don't you try for a transfer to any other area of your choice where you can take your family (including your parents)along with you?
If transfer is impossible, you can try for a job in another organisatin which is near to your original house.
Options are many. But action is important.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 10 January 2012
Very well replied by Shri Sethi , Deepaak, Raj
Even in Chennai, houses are freely available on rent'/ deposit[I understand ], and you start living separately.
YTes, agreed, with a child of a month, your wife is allowed to live for another six months with her parents, but after that you resigned from your job of Ghar Jawai.
Both work at Chenai, and have your own house. Live away from your in laws. Do not sell self respect.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 15 January 2012
I think your query has now been resolved.
perumal
(Querist) 16 January 2012
thank you sirs, for providing suggestions, instructions as to how to lead a family life, in the midst of your precious time.
Once again I thank you all.
Perumal.
perumal
(Querist) 24 June 2016
Sorry for not replying in time.
I have proceeded legally on the advise from this forum, i succeeded in my second son's matrimonial issues. Now he with his spouse living separately peacefully with a male child.
Thanking you, Sir.
Perumal.M
