Regarding divorce
James
(Querist) 20 July 2013
This query is : Resolved
Hello sir,This is regarding my wife,I have been married for the past 12 and a half years now i and my wife have been separated for the past 2 years i have two kids one is 11 years and the other one is 8 years.
My wife issue was that I fight,do not communicate with her and also do not help her in various issues,also she had issues on Facebook that i was charting with some foreign girls.
First she made a big problem in the house by not speaking to me etc,etc then she told me to leave the house and stay with my mother for 10 to 15 days i did what she wanted and when i went to work then she started to behave bossy she should tell me not to come home because she is in her parents house that is in Karnataka so i did whatever she wanted to give her space and time.But one day without my knowledge she sold the house which i had put in her name but all the money was mine when i brought the house from her mom and also did the house with my own hard earn money and she took all the thinks of the house the car and everything i was like a beggar she left to her father house and i with only a few clothes etc,then around 8 months she send me all of my clothes and my certificates that's all.She never worked after marriage she was a house wife.
After my father's death in 2011 she then started to behave this way because now that my mom is alone and she and my mom are not in good teams.
Also i used to send all my money to her even my credit cards and all the bank books was with her i did trust her a lot but did not know she will do all this to me.
Now for the past 8 months i have stopped all the money because i told her i need to buy a house for myself because i am staying with my mom and here the locality people know me and my mom very well,My mom is very devoted in church like almost famous and so i need to move out from here as soon as possible.But my wife keeps on treating me that she will kill herself and the kids etc,etc.i did not response to any of her mail nor did she have the courtesy of bringing the kids when they have holidays etc i have not see them for the past 1 1 /2 years.I told her last month that i need to see the kids then she started to say first send me the money then she write that i am troubling her and she needs a mutual divorce then she tell me that she is going to send a mutual divorce papers in which she needs my signatures,I told her that i won't sigh in any papers unless it is legal she tell me that i and my mom is mentally torturing her.
I know Sir that she has enough of money in fact she is more rich then me but she now does not want to reconcile or want to stay with me i guess.
Please advice me what to do and if it is good especially for the kids i really don't want to go for a divorce because of my kids but my wife i don't know what she is thinking Sir i really need your good advice.
Thank you for taking your time.
Bye.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 20 July 2013
the mistake you made was in buying flat in wife name . she has now sold the flat and refuses to stay with you .
under the circumstances file for divorce on grounds of desertion and mental cruelty . ask for custody of children . you can later convert the petition for divorce into mutual consent. refuse to pay her any maintenance . and cancel your credit cards close your bank accounts of which your wife has knowledge
James
(Querist) 20 July 2013
Thank-you very much Sir for your replay i feel a bit light now i don't want any more trouble from my side already i am in lots of mental disastrous anyway i will still wait and watch what my wife will do she always tells me that she has done nothing wrong but i know she will be in trouble when she comes to the family court because of selling all my thinks without my knowledge and then demanding for money and also threatening me that she will do all sorts of things but my problem is Sir i need to be again back with my family how can this happen also i don't have any contacts with her because she has moved far away from Mumbai and maybe in Bangalore and also i got some information that she has brought her shop etc i don't know what is the truth.
But i wan't to know Sir if she files for divorce will the court will grant her any of the divorce or will i have to pay her anything because i told you that she has stolen everything from me and also left this state without my knowledge.
Yes Sir i have stopped all accounts and money which she had from me nothing now goes to her.
Once again thank-you for your time and advice.
James
(Querist) 20 July 2013
Please let me know that how can i get my family together i am ready to reconcile with my wife at any cost but really cannot get a way out of this mess.
Dr. Jyothi Vishwanath
(Expert) 20 July 2013
Only love can bring back the family members together. Talk to her clearly and ask her if she wants to stay with you. If she refuses, it is better u take divorce. No use running after her for sake of kids. Kids will suffer this way more.
James
(Querist) 20 July 2013
Thank you for your concern but i guess without the money which i have stopped sending her she is determined that she wants a divorce anyway if she wants let her go a head i will wait and see patiently.
R.K Nanda
(Expert) 20 July 2013
consult local lawyer.
Dr. Jyothi Vishwanath
(Expert) 21 July 2013
Thats good that you will watch patiently for her to proceed to divorce if she wishes for it. But if she goes for divorce, she will also demand maintenance. It is always better to sort this out of court. Take the help of a senior advocate who can explain her that she had made lots of mistakes and she will not get much maintenance or no maintenance if desertion is proved from her side.
James
(Querist) 21 July 2013
Thank-you DR Jyothi,I really appreciate all the effort you'll have put in this case,I feel it is desertion from her side because she had trown me out of the house by telling me stay with my mom for 10 to 15 days and then you can come but then on it went on now that she has sold every think of my hard earn money and left to another state which she has not told me about.And also she had taken all my belongings i just got it in the past 8 months along with my certificates then i closed all acct and also my income.
At the first place she was controlling all
my income I mention above how she left me without anything i now don't even have my own flat to stay i am staying now in my mom house,i really cannot believe all this has happen to me.Even i told her that you have done wrong by selling my property and also taking all my valuable stuff she tells me that she has done no wrong in this.I really cannot understand what to tell her that is why i do not want to communicate with her.
I will wait tell she goes forward for any such thing.I know in my heart that she has broken the law and she will be punished for all that she has done i have even told her before let us make up and we can go for counseling but she refused to do so.
She always tells me that we have fights and i always listen to my mom and i do not communicate and also she removes of the past but even i am insisting her to forget and forgive each other and also start a new life once again lets give this marriage another try,but i feel she is taking me for granted.
prabhakar singh
(Expert) 21 July 2013
Irrespective of gender a few among people have criminal instinct embedded so closely to genes that nothing works with them not even LOVE.
Can We not anticipate LOVE was here and trust was imposed upon by male spouse but facing betrayal.
But the story appears short of facts as things have come out suddenly after long survival of marriage(12 and 1/2 years)hence it can not be a case of 'ONLY TEMPERAMENT',
there looks to be something more than what has been told.
James
(Querist) 21 July 2013
Hello Mr Prabhakar Sir if it was something else my wife would have divorce me in the first place and made my life a living hell i know her very well sir i have written to you'll that what she had told me that is why my family is so shocked with this behavior I even told her i will not do all these things again i will try to control my anger and can go for counseling she too is very hot tempered and also very stub an and arrogant in many ways but she insist that 10 years i have given you to many chances and so on and so fort this is what my story is Sir, if i have done anything wrong then i will tell you'll i have told it open there is nothing to hide ,Also she got mad with the Facebook that i was charting with some foreign girl negatively i told her why will i give you my password i even told her it is only charting did i sleep with them , I do not know what she thinks.She even dislike my mom after my dad died she started to do all this drama inspired of giving her everything she did this to me and still she say she has done nothing wrong Sir can you believe it. I really gave them the best in life but i know my lord is with me for i have done no harm to anyone Anyway i leave all the to my lord i hope she realize this one day.
Thank-you Sir for your comment.
prabhakar singh
(Expert) 21 July 2013
Sorry James!
i did not intend to hurt you nor did i doubt
on your character.
i actually doubted her as if she carried marriage for long 12 and 1/2 years despite your anger bursts why she betrayed you suddenly?
Perhaps rather for sure destiny is beyond every logic.
James
(Querist) 21 July 2013
Hi sir thanks for your message i don't know where my destiny is but i am really missing my kids they are so beautiful and very loving kids.I really cannot figure out what my wife wants now apart from my money that is why i am hurt in spite of all my effort nothing is working out for me anyway now i just wait and watch how far she can move she told me that if i don't send the money she won't allow me to see the kids the i told her i will go to family court then she tell me that she want a mutual divorce without seeing the kids etc etc she told me she will send me the paper in my moms house i told her if i get the papers i will go to the lawyers because o won't sign any of the papers,She still does not tell me where she is and what she has done with the sold house in Mumbai and also with all my stuff in my house even my car and scooter etc she has sold no information about any of this thigs and she want me to send the money,I will never send her any money Sir because i don't trust her now.
Please advice me what to do,i don't have any information about here whare abouts and also no tel no she has changed her no 3 to n4 times.
Dr. Jyothi Vishwanath
(Expert) 21 July 2013
Please advice me what to do,i don't have any information about here whare abouts and also no tel no she has changed her no 3 to n4 times.
---If she is missing, lodge a fir with police...
James
(Querist) 21 July 2013
Ok Dr Jyothi i will but what can i do to make us back together do you have any advice for me.if i mail her she says that she want money for the kids education they ate still small and i do not know what she has done with all the money she had got.
Dr. Jyothi Vishwanath
(Expert) 21 July 2013
You call her for a personal meeting. Talk to her clear and in detail. About money matters and about your chat with foreign girl. Clarify her doubts. Tell her your doubts. Tell her to continue with you. Then only you can decide the future course of events.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 21 July 2013
hire a detective agency . gather all the evidences about the sale proceeds she has received , where she has invested the money , her buying of shop etc . it will come in handy in fighting divorce case
James
(Querist) 21 July 2013
Yes DR Jyothi i do agree with you i hope by communicate with her i only prayer that she will come all the way from Karnataka to Mumbai to communicate with me.
About the chat with the girls it had all happened before she left me i had told her all this stuff but she was adamant to leave me i don't know why I also told her to come and we will meet a Councillor but that to she refuse to do it.
Anyway thank-you for all your help and support for me.
R.K Nanda
(Expert) 21 July 2013
nothing to add.
James
(Querist) 21 July 2013
Hello Ajay sir i read your message i feel the mistake i made by making the house in her name and also my other stuff,i know that the court will tell her how she can sell the house even if it is in my name without my present,she has never worked after marriage this is all my income which i have spend for my house and also all the stuff in it i have the proof and also my family members knows about this that is even proof and also the bank which i had i my account all the money she had removed
they will have all the proof she has nothing to say about this Sir it is clearly all my money and i know she will tell it in court also that all this stuff belongs to me even my kids are the proof
But the main think is that Sir i don't want a divorce from her i just want to be back once again is it possible for the court to work it out even if she goes for a divorce.
Dr. Jyothi Vishwanath
(Expert) 21 July 2013
Court ka kaam sirf faisla dena hota hai...rishte ko nibhana to insano ke haath me hota hai Mr.James...
ajay sethi
(Expert) 21 July 2013
james
your wife does not want to stay with you . period .
she is untrustworthy has sold your flat without your knowledge . hence divorce is best solution .
James
(Querist) 21 July 2013
Ok Sir if so then let her go for it then i will see what i can do.
Thanks-you
James
(Querist) 21 July 2013
Thank-you Mrs Jyothi for your advice.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 21 July 2013
As u want to join with family, court will certainly help you.
Keep cool, repent for mistake of buying Flat etc on wife's name, wait for a year, then decide.any hurry??
James
(Querist) 21 July 2013
Thankyou sir I will wait I am in no hurry but it has been 2 years now that she and my 2 kids are gone away 1 year in Mumbai and the other year some where in karnataka
James
(Querist) 21 July 2013
I will see how much my wife can pull on with all this problem she has created.
