Husband's irresponsible attitude
ajay kumar jain
(Querist) 10 March 2017
This query is : Resolved
Query: My daughter (1988) in Delhi.
w/o Mr(1989) in Gwalior.
Married in Delhi in July, 2013.
Son d.o.b. 19.03.2016 .
Now husband doing new pvt. job in Indore AND my daughter doing pvt. job in Delhi and on rent . Husband wishes to settle out of Delhi to give pain to us. His mother is greedy and playing a negative role. They did not pay any money for my daughter and son (even also for powder milk). Three months back, my daughter lodged a Police Complaint and settled between them by police in writing. Now he threat her for divorce.
Please advise me:- 1) what should i do if he sends Advocate-notice for threat of divorce if not coming to Indore? 2) If he files case from Gwalior or Indore, then do i bound to appear in that court with my 10 months child? The very fact is that her mother and my husband harrassed me mentally for dowry i.e. House in Delhi. He also took my i-20 car to Indore which is in my name.
Guest
(Expert) 10 March 2017
Mr. Ajay Kumar Jain,
What I can guess from your description is that you don't want your daughter to go far away from you.
By the way, why do you want the husband of your daughter to settle only at Delhi.
Please don't mind, if the husband has decided to give divorce within a short period of three years of his marriage there must be some undue interference in his family life from your side and insistence to settle only at Delhi. But, if you have married the daughter, he must be allowed to live with his husband, wherever he wants to settle.
Negative role of his parents or greed, if really are there, can be resolved by tackling wisely, but if a lame excuse just to trap them, that can be harmful to the peaceful living life of both the husband and wife.
ajay kumar jain
(Querist) 10 March 2017
thanks with regards.
1. no parents will spoil life of daughter. my daughter went to nagpur just after marriage as husband's job there.
2.husband joined new job as per his own wish.
3.he changed 3 jobs in 3 years.
4.his mother is greedy and illitrate.
5.we never interferred and helped them financially.
6.he many a times expected home from us indirectly and told my daughter.
7.his mother is the main cause of disturbance as widow.
8.his mother in gwalior. marriage in delhi. my son in law's job in indore now.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 10 March 2017
Through your own and other elders of the family try to save the marriage.
Your son in law may become responsible, with counselling.
Probably he does not want to at Delhi near in laws and under close supervision.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 10 March 2017
Your son in law is earning and can and should support his family.
Your son in law can ask his wife to be with him.
He is otherwise staying away from his mother also.
If he is demanding house/dowry from you record it and build irrefutable evidence, for use at appropriate time if the need be.
Whatever you want to give, give it preferably, to your daughter, or grandson, by a/c payee cheques.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 10 March 2017
You and your daughter and elders of your family are closest to the facts.
In case you, your daughter, and other elders of the family feel that you have already tried enough and are convinced that your son in law is not sincere and is in the long run preparing for separation and in case you have decided to look for professional help from a counsel specializing in Family Matters then LCI expert Mr. Shonee Kapoor is from Delhi and is expert in such matters.
http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/profile.asp?member_id=19939
You may discuss in person.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 11 March 2017
prima-facie your query is not legal.
The wording used by you in query gives a clear impression that observations of Mr Dhingra and Mr Kumar Doab are correct.
Guest
(Expert) 11 March 2017
Is there any objection to you or your daughter to live with your son in law at Indore?
If interested in job, does she have any reason not to join any job at Indore with due consent of her husband, while living with him?
If you don't mind, your own statement, "he changed 3 jobs in 3 years." itself reveals some element of undue interference in his personal affairs from your side, as his job change may not be according to your liking.
If "he changed 3 jobs in 3 years," I don't think there should be any objection to you if he prefers to do a job of his own liking or where he feels that his career can develop.
Better try for amicable settlement with him with the help of some neutral persons in the interest of peaceful life of your own daughter.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 11 March 2017
She seems to be imagining irresponsibility. changing 3 jobs in three years means he is professionally capable and is getting better opening.
He is in Indore and wants his wife to be there.
You never said that he wants to dump here at his parents whoa according to you torture her.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 11 March 2017
Your daughter should save marriage and should talk to her husband for amicable solution. It would be better step in the interest of your daughter and her son.
If he has joined new job, she should support her in the job.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 11 March 2017
If no solution is possible, husband file divorce case at his place.
1. Your daughter should oppose the petition through her lawyer.
2. She can approach Supreme Court for orders to transfer the case to Delhi.
3. She can file cases of 498A and domestic violence against them at Delhi. They have to appear on the hearing in Delhi.
Guest
(Expert) 11 March 2017
Agreed with Madam RK Goyal
ajay kumar jain
(Querist) 11 March 2017
thanks mr. rajendra k goyal for concluding the solution of my daughter's problem. being father of a married daughter, i feel fear to take any legal action at an early stage. the very fact is that my daughter has tried her best to tackle the present situation but no results. any way, now i feel with true pain that it is better to discuss with good lawyer in detail personally (instead of discussing at this platform) for further course of action. she is managing all domestic expenses by doing pvt job with a rented house in a self-respect manner with 11 months child since his birth. we never interested in demanding any maintenance from husband and any legal action on them. we pray GOD to bless all of them. happy holi to all advisers.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 12 March 2017
I always l;ike to advise as to how best a victim lady can take action agains thusband & family.
However, in this case I have felt like restaining.
I like to agree with Mr Goyal but in this case I add the following in his replies
1. Your daughter should oppose the petition through her lawyer.
WHY SHOULD SUCH A SITUATION BE ALLOWED TO ARRIVE. SIMPLY BECAUSE LAWYERS ARE SITTING IN COURT THAT DOE SNOT MEAN THAT ONE SHOULD INVITE LITIGATION. LET HER STAY WITH HUSBAND IN INDORE WHER EHE IS HAVING A JOB.
2. She can approach Supreme Court for orders to transfer the case to Delhi.
YES. THE COST OF SUCH APPLICATION WILL BE A BAG FUL OF CURRENCY. THERE IS ALSO NO COGENT REASON APPEARING IN THE FACTS WHICH CAN BE SUITABLE TO SUCH APPLICATION. THE PROVISION IS THERE FOR SUCH TRANSFER THAT DOE SNOT MEAN THAT FIRST THE LITIGATION IS INVITED IN INDORE AND THEN HOPE FOR ITS TRANSFER.
3. She can file cases of 498A and domestic violence against them at Delhi. They have to appear on the hearing in Delhi.
GIVEN FACTS DO NOT GIVE ANY SUCH INDICATION OF EXISTANCE OF THESE ALLEGATIONS.
Dr J C Vashista
(Expert) 12 March 2017
1. Very well analysed and advised by experts, I agree with them.
2. However, Mr. Jain, stop interference in the married life of your daughter, which is clear from the facts stated hereinabove. Let them settle their differences, which are bound to happen with every married couple.
3. Let your daughter may join the company of her husband where ever he manages and wishes to stay/work.
4. If he (your son in-law) takes any legal action, then only consult a lawyer for proper analyses of facts and proceed, presently it is not a legal issue.
ajay kumar jain
(Querist) 12 March 2017
Thanks Sh. Dr. J C Vashishta. In fact, my point of view is simply based on FEAR OF FUTURE-safety of my daughter. In fact, our role is nowhere in their married life. We wish for welfare of our daughter & son-in-law, both. That's why, I am silent & praying God but trying to get legal knowledge to protect from any MIS-HAPPENING in future as seen in today's scenario in our society. I never objected where they settle AS I DID MARRIAGE OF MY DAUGHTER via Delhi, TO BE SETTLED IN "NAGPUR" IN 2013 WHERE MY SON IN LAW WAS DOING JOB. The interference was being created by his mother(widow)- since beginning. Being Retd Bank Manager & a student of commerce and law in Delhi University, I understand my Moral Responsibility. Son-in-law concealed some facts about him e.g. Drink & Smoking as in our knowledge. These certain points created fear and some anger in my daughter's mind. I know, I may get Good Suggestions from your Respected EXPERTS only if I speak TRUTH with real facts AS FAR AS LAW IS CONCERNED.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 12 March 2017
In your 3rd post addressed to Mr. Rajendra K Goyal, you have posted that:
“she is managing all domestic expenses by doing pvt job with a rented house in a self-respect manner with 11 months child since his birth. “
Why it is so?
This could have also been discussed and attempted to be resolved, through your own and other elders of the family trying to save the marriage.
In families there are even worse than such things that are known to happen.
In families there are even worse than such things that are known to get resolved.
Even if such sincere effort leads to failure atleast, it can become a matter on record.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 12 March 2017
Smoking, drinking might be old habit or result of corporate culture or pressures.
NO doubt these are bad habits and affects health and poke hole in pocket and financial health.
This can be discussed between husband and wife, Mother and son, even Father in Law and Son in Law within limits of decency.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 12 March 2017
you have now said
"Son-in-law concealed some facts about him e.g. Drink & Smoking as in our knowledge. "
what prevented you from sharing this fact earlier.
However. how much is the fact relevant to your fear you alone can decide.
so you have agreed that your actions are simply based on fear.
GO AHEAD NONE CAN STOP YOU.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 12 March 2017
In your 1st post you have posted that:
"They did not pay any money for my daughter and son (even also for powder milk). Three months back, my daughter lodged a Police Complaint and settled between them by police in writing. Now he threat her for divorce........................He also took my i-20 car to Indore which is in my name."
Whose car is it: Your's or your daughter's?
If it is your's; at the 1st instance you could have not given it for such Free use or taken it while it was in Delhi, or ask him now affectionately to bring it back to Delhi and handover to you.
The complaint lodged with police has been settled, probably with effort of mediation by police.
This time try to resolve the matter by efforts of your daughter and her husband between themselves......................and supported by you and other elders of your family.
Try to save the marriage, and bring them back to union .
Guest
(Expert) 12 March 2017
There can be several allegations and counter allegations from both the sides that can only aggravate the issues leading to no positive result. Missed verification on your part is the thing of the past that cannot be rectified now after your daughter's marriage. Both the sides can allege about hiding of several things from each other, which issue has no remedy now.
For the present the best possible remedy is nurturing of mutual trust between the husband and wife, which only parents of the girl can infuse without giving way to any type of biased or prejudiced emotions.
The second best is divorce, if your daughter cannot find it possible to adjust herself with her husband/ his family.
Any revengeful action begets counter revenge from the other side.
Rest depends upon your own wisdom.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 12 March 2017
you said
"That's why, I am silent & praying God but trying to get legal knowledge to protect from any MIS-HAPPENING in future as seen in today's scenario in our society."
PLEASE BE CLEAR IN MIND
whether you want legal views to get protected against misshaping or want to create misshaping.
ajay kumar jain
(Querist) 12 March 2017
Thanks & Obliged to all Respected Experts
for their kind and valuable piece of advice without any self-intrest or fees.
Please accept my REGARDS with Happy Holi under your kind blessings for a happy life of my daughter and son-in-law.
GOOD BYE.
Guest
(Expert) 13 March 2017
Thanks for your appreciation. Happy Holi to you and your family also.
