Wife is not willing to start family
ChandanLawyersclub
(Querist) 16 September 2012
This query is : Resolved
Dear All,
I am married from last 8 years. My wife has no interest in family. I have reasonably good relation with her, but it gets spoiled when I talk her for kid. She does not want me to talk about children
She has some medical problem she is not willing to come for fertility treatment
She is not willing to come forward for assisted medical conception.She is not willing to adopt a kid .She is not willing to give her egg even for if I hire surrogate mother to get child.She is not willing to take oral fertility aid medicine during fertile period
She has not emotions for becoming mother, not have any regret having no kid.
She prevents me having relation during her fertile days. I have discussed all options in detail with her to save our marriage. She do not listens even her parents, even many times counseling done by her parents . She is very stubborn.
When I ask to divorce me on mutual consent if she is not willing to have baby, she ask me for half of my assets and half salary(Rs50000 per month), which is impossible to give. I am very sad to see her behavior . Even I have gone for family counseling in family court 3months. She promised to judge she is trying to conceive but while to me she says it’s her decision, she will not come to fertility hospital for treatment. I have done all my medical test, for me all reports are OK.
She is single kid of her parents all her father’s property she is only legal heir, if I contest for divorce, how much court can ask me to give r alimony to her? I have a house in joint name but all money I have paid, she has not even given single penny. All my saving of last 10years gone in that house. Value around 90L. She was working drawing salary of rs15000 per month , now left job just for break. She is double postgraduate and B.Ed.
I am very depressed , banging my head against my wife to fulfill wishes of my parents, her parents and mine, come forward for treatment form long time. But all efforts are in vain. Pl. suggest what to do?
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 16 September 2012
If you want divorce then go for it. Banging your head would be of no help.
tHE ALIMONY SHOULD BE AROUND 1/4TH - 1/5TH OF YOUR INCOME.
ChandanLawyersclub
(Querist) 17 September 2012
thanks Barmanji .
Is it mean half of house +1/4th(Or 1/5th ) of monthly salary?
Guest
(Expert) 17 September 2012
Dear Umesh,
Better take help from your in-laws and her personal friends to pursuade her. Their advice can do what you or your family could not do to convince her, as only they can convince her about family requirements in married life and paaricularly to solve issues of dependence at the time of incapacitating old age.
ChandanLawyersclub
(Querist) 17 September 2012
Thank you Sir,
I have tried that also. She says that decision she will decide whether to have kid or not, no one can force her. His father has told her if she has kid. Whatever support required to her he will give , they are also pushing her from last 8 years. But in vain, Very stubborn lady on this front.
My elder brother is willing to give me his 11years old younger son, he has two sons. But if If I get kid in my house , he will not get any affection of mother(my wife), She is willing to sign as mother in adoption, but she will not care as mother . My Bhabhi(SIL) is ready to take of her son, by keeping with them giving me ownership as father. But kid is already 11years old . He will not be emotionally attached with me. Can this work for me? Can I adopt him ?
Guest
(Expert) 17 September 2012
Dear Umesh,
Don't try to take guarantee of mother's affection beforehand from your wife. Don't even adopt any chaild right now. Just ask your brother to make his son live with you and your wife for some time. Bear total expenditure of your nephew. You will see your wife will get affection towards him gradually. Either she would agree to adopt him or would show her tendency to become a natural mother for a child of her own.
PARDEEP KUMAR
(Expert) 17 September 2012
Great advice from Mr. Dhingra, I appreciate he has given you the advice as an elder. though not exactly in legal terms, but his experience speaks here to save your family and also the problems you would face in filing, contesting divorce petition. I think, you should follow advice of Mr. Dhingra. If it fails, the narration amount to cruelty on the part of your wife, not exactly, but you may file for divorce, indicating Hindu Dharma, pitra rinn, etc.,that you are ready to live with her and not interested to part but due to circumstances created by your wife, have no option left, still if she agrees, you are willing to live with her etc., etc., also include she threaten for alimony etc., etc.,
Guest
(Expert) 17 September 2012
You are welcome, Mr. Umesh.
Guest
(Expert) 17 September 2012
Dear Pardeep,
Thanks for your appreciation. I believe in real life solutions as only litigations are not the remedy for all ills. Sometimes, psychological approach becomes the cause of miracles for unsettled human life.
sukanya (Joyce)
(Expert) 18 September 2012
I Salute mr P.S. Dhingra for the best possible advice given to Umesh as a legal consultant and an elderly person.
Guest
(Expert) 18 September 2012
Thanks for the compliments dear Sukanya!
JANAK RAJ VATSA
(Expert) 18 September 2012
please follow the advice given by ld dhingra ji, i am sure it would bear fruit. a mature advice
RAJU O.F.,
(Expert) 19 September 2012
Better take her to a psychologist; perhaps her attitudes and her emotional problems may be changed for having normal or assisted conception.
