Dowry demand by groom and family
Guest
(Querist) 18 November 2016
This query is : Resolved
We are from Chennai, a middle class family. We got an alliance through matrimony site and we proceeded with it by meeting the groom's side a few times. Initially during the marriage discussion that was held at Coimbatore at the groom's house, they said they dont want to demand any dowry (either as money or jewel or anything else) and they would accept whatever is given by my (bride's) parents. Both our parents discussed and decided the dates for engagement and marriage. 5 days before the engagement, the guy's mom started asking for a car. My dad said he doesn't have much money for that as he was taking care of all expenses for the engagement and marriage. he had already agreed to give 35 sovereigns of gold. But he said to the guy's parent that he wants to discuss about this issue on the day of engagement in person. But two days before the engagement, the groom's mom started to corner us saying only if we agree to get a car, the guy would come for the engagement and that if we did not agree to get the car, she would create problems between me and the groom after marriage.
My dad was clueless and our whole side had a lot of mental pressure and came up with two ideas, one is that he would get us a car roughly two yrs after marriage when the guy gets transfer to Chennai or he would reduce the gold to 25 sovereigns and get a car instead. He mentioned the budget to be of 5 to 5.5 lakhs for the car and not more than that. They agreed to it and promised no further problems will be created.
Engagement happened. Even though I had a lot of things going on in my mind, I was smiling amidst all the mental torture. But the guy seemed really cold.
The day after engagement, me and my parents were in hunt for a decent car within the mentioned budget. Went to few showrooms and Shortlisted few cars and we informed the groom about the options but he started asking for a costlier car.
I told him to talk about that to my dad as he is the one who is going to finance. He denied talking to my dad as he thought my father would convince him. He could not find any reason and then he started abusing me that I am adamant and that I fight a lot. On the contradictory, he also mentioned that I am not talking much to him and that is hurting him. While the truth is, I have had a very decent conversation through Whatsapp everyday and I have all the backup of those conversations. There was no fight or adamancy whatsoever. He finds reasons to blame me inorder to stop this marriage but he also mentions that he has no guts to take decisions (negative decision) as that would favor me in rising a complaint against him.
We have already fixed the hall for marriage for which it cost a lot of money and also the engagement expenses.
He is cornering us again after the engagement so that we would do anything they ask for fearing our reputation and my future.
I want to file a case on him and his mother for all the demanding, abusing, cornering and mental torture that they have given us so far and for they are backing off now.
And I want to know will it affect any of my future alliance. Do we have to wait till this case gets resolved in court, to see another alliance or can we proceed with the complaint copy alone?
I have all the whatsapp conversations between me and him, he is afraid to talk on call as he thinks I would record it and use it as an evidence.
Guest
(Expert) 18 November 2016
Consult A Local Good Advocate Or Even With out the Help of Advocate Police Could help you in getting back every thing what you had given ,Expenses.Damages Etc.Police Women's Forum Really Functions Very Well If Needed they would File the Case Also..This Issue will Not have binding on you in seeking Better Alliance and Getting Married.Be Bold and All the Best.
Guest
(Expert) 18 November 2016
Dowry Harassment Case would be Filed by Police and then it would Come to court.In your Case it is Not Even Harassment it is Only Demanding.Still a Case/Complaint could be Filed with Police.
Guest
(Expert) 18 November 2016
Well advised by Shri NJS Rajkumar.
Guest
(Expert) 18 November 2016
Thanks Senior Expert Mr.Dhingra ji
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 18 November 2016
You have come across the greed of other side, if matured it is doubtful the relation would continue.
It is better to part at this stage rather to feel the pinch of litigation afterwards.
If they are ready to compensate the expenses, may settle amicably or discuss with lawyer and explore the possibility of legal action against them.
Guest
(Expert) 18 November 2016
You are welcome NJS Rajkumar ji.
Sankaranarayanan
(Expert) 18 November 2016
nothing more to add in room already given good advise by sri Rajkumar
Guest
(Expert) 18 November 2016
Thanks to Expert/Advocate Mr.Sankar Narayanan.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 18 November 2016
Mr.N.J.S.Rajkumar has well explained.
Appreciated.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 18 November 2016
May I add that the apex court has ruled that anti-dowry legislation becomes active the moment two parties start a dialogue for marriage.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 18 November 2016
Author@ Dilemma,
The link has been provided to you.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 18 November 2016
Dear Mr.N.J.S.Rajkumar,
I have sent the links to you.
May the issue be illustrated further.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 19 November 2016
"And I want to know will it affect any of my future alliance. Do we have to wait till this case gets resolved in court, to see another alliance or can we proceed with the complaint copy alone?"
If the marriage has not taken place you are under no obligation. You can get married any time anywhere.
Guest
(Expert) 19 November 2016
Thanks to Senior Expert Mr.Kumar Doab
Guest
(Expert) 19 November 2016
About your statement, "And I want to know will it affect any of my future alliance. Do we have to wait till this case gets resolved in court, to see another alliance or can we proceed with the complaint copy alone," your future alliance is not likely to be affected with the present court case, if tried.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 19 November 2016
You are not yet married.
You can marry eligible person of your choice.
Guest
(Querist) 19 November 2016
Thank you all for the expert advice!
We consulted an advocate, he says we need to wait till the case gets resolved only then we can proceed with the next alliance. And that it would take few months.
However the advocate posed us one question - if the guy's side compromises saying they don't want any dowry but only the bride, what could we do? The relationship and trust has already been sabotaged and I am in total fear to go live with that guy and their family (if at all they compromise). After all this, if they create such a situation it would only be for torturing me further more after marriage keeping all this in mind.
Guest
(Expert) 19 November 2016
If your Advocate Says So ask him to Post it Here Or you could Show him this Thread.Regarding your Personal decisions We Can Not Involve It is Up to You.Here we provide Only Legal Guidance and Not Matrimonial.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 19 November 2016
Court cases / litigation are not decided in few months (not sure if definition of few is considered more than 18-24 months).
You can proceed, no problem for marriage at another place.
Even if relation matures it is doubtful this event would come out of minds anytime. Suspect would remain in minds.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 19 November 2016
I concur with Mr.N.J.S.Rajkumar, Mr. Rajendra K Goyal.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 19 November 2016
You are welcome Mr.Goyal.
Guest
(Expert) 19 November 2016
Thanks Senior Expert Mr.Kumar Doab
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 19 November 2016
Yo are welcome Mr.N.J.S.Rajkumar.
