Need help
Vanashree
(Querist) 13 April 2012
This query is : Resolved
Hi i need somebody's help urgently........
1am basically hindu by birth and 1 year back i got married with 1 muslim guy(state gov. employee) who was already married and having two kids,he said he is not at all happy with his present wife and want to divorce her n get marry with me but i only stopped him and told him not to give divorce.But at the same time he was after me to getting marry with me.I said NO for the same but after few months even i started loving him very much , i got very emotional as every after second day he was after me for marriage,finally 8th Jan 2011 we got engaged in a small temple and 5th May we got married in a hotel room(we haven't done legal marriage, today i have only photos of our marriage, no legal document.)for few months after marriage everything was fine but since last August he is avoiding me, n whenever i ask him to get married legally he is always giving me reasons that he is already married and cant get married here for the second tie so we have to go out of India and he is after me for the same.(i can smell some fishy things here). I have made a unofficial police complain against him when cops asked him about marriage that time he got ready to get married on 5th May 2012, but again after that he is giving me the same reasons as him n my family is not aware about our marriage so he is telling me to go out of India from this place after few moths he will join me and than will get married,so i have applied for my visa but please tell me whatever i m doing i it right ? or again he is only playing with my emotions as he is doing the same from last 1 year......please suggest me something, what should i do now ?
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 13 April 2012
You may be sold to Arab!!
Forget him now onward, and be away from him.
Never hide such serious thing from your parents and your family. Do as your parents suggest, They are your best friends, and well wisher.
Deepak Nair
(Expert) 13 April 2012
This is nothing but wearing a poisonous snake around your neck without ignoring the fact that a single bite is enough to kill.
In this circumstances, you need to leave that man and go ahead and live a life of your own. He came behind you saying that he is not satisfied with first wife. Tomorrow he will lose interest in you and go behind another one.
God has given intellect to human beings to understand and act wisely. Use your brain at least to some extent and start a new life.
Vanashree
(Querist) 13 April 2012
Accepted, but what about other women's ? i am only 27 now, i know i ca start new life but what about my other sisters ?
i left everything for him, i was working with such a reputed organization, i left my job, my career everything only for him and just few days back i have realized that now he is taking more interest in some other girl who may b hardly 23 years old, dont you think that somewhere down the line we need to stop this ? Who is going to take action against him ? He is miss using his power....its very tough for me staying away from his but after seeing his real and reading your comments will try to forget him but wht abt other ?
Vanashree
(Querist) 13 April 2012
recently i got his password and i saw his emails, this kind of things he is doing from past 7 years with his office colleagues(i saw some pics n chatting) n with other girls also, but now some one has to stop all this things.....
SAINATH DEVALLA
(Expert) 13 April 2012
Vanashreeji,
My heartfelt sympathies for you after going through your query.You are a hindu and he is a muslim.How do you assume whatever happened in the hotel as marriage.Do you agree with me.You knew he was already married with kids.Yet you fell a prey to his lust and nothing else.That day you forgot the future of your sisters,and today you are thinking of them.MONEY LOST CAN BE REGAINED,BUT REPUTATION LOST IS LOST FOREVER.You are educated,with good employment and a bright future and you have dug your own grave with your irresponsible acts.
Well,past is past,because you are repenting today.Retrospection is a good gesture.If you want to teach him a lesson,immediately file a police complaint or you may even file a private case in the court of law.Have courage and make your path a path of roses.Take the assistance of women's organisations also.Good luck.
Shonee Kapoor
(Expert) 13 April 2012
Pick up your life again.
The mistake is yours no one else is to be blamed.
Regards,
Shonee Kapoor
harassed.by.498a@gmail.com
Deepak Nair
(Expert) 13 April 2012
It is good to see that you wish to save others from falling pray to such crooks.
First you save yourselves, stand straight. Then only you would be above to help others.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 13 April 2012
do not waste your time stopping him repeat, There are Lakhs of such crooks, i such supply link, or otherwise. We cannot improve or teach lesson to all, and new comes on. So best way is to protect yourself, and try to alert somebody falling in their trap.
try save yourself. Public have very little memory. Nobody bothers u had affair for a year. There are lakhs of Divorcee , living happy married life.
Forget abt all these. Just lead your life, forgetting a Dream of 2 years.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 14 April 2012
I will slighly disagree with Mr Kapoor. It is not your mistake rather you planned so to get yourself ditched.
The so called marraige of hindu and muslim is not valid. Either one of you shuld convert or marry under Spl Marriage Act.
He is already married, not divorcing, Govt employee and you force him to marry unaware of the fact (he may be knowing) that he will loose his job and his muslim religion will not be able to protect his job because conduct rules of Govt servants apply euqlly to all religions and there is no except to muslim in the charge of bigmy in Govt service.
The fact is that you have bene enjoyed and you were keen for this. Society does not have very respectable words for such life.
Either accept what Ld Mr Shorff, Mr Nair, Mr Devalla and Mr Kapoor are saying and follow the same. Human life is not for such experiments better get benefitted with the experience of thelife of others.
Other alternative is that you continue on the path and atleast your life will be of some use to society as a lesson for others.
prabhakar singh
(Expert) 14 April 2012
सहायता मागने का जब सही वक्त था तब आप ने किसी की सहायता नहीं मांगी ,अब जब सब कुछ बिगड़ गया तब क्या सहायता की जा सकती है ?????आप ही सोंचें .
Vanashree
(Querist) 14 April 2012
Thank you very much for your suggestions.You all are very senior people and i respect whatever you are suggesting me its only for my good future, But i still have to ask so many question on this regards......
Why only women have to suffer ? When i was not at all ready for the marriage he was begging in front of me on the roads,he was crying making me emotional fool and finally He got married with me giving some studious reasons, i was having full trust on him but now he is ashamed to admit that i am his wife.
I want to teach him lesson, can anybody suggest me what legal actions i can take against him ?
Mr.Sainath Devalla and Mr.Prabhakar Singh, - Nobody knows what the future has in store,i was emotionally sucked and fooled, Sometimes all you need is a broken heart to realize that something even better is right in front of our eyes, just waiting to be found.I can not change the past, i can not predict my future , i am not going to draw conclusions based on what happened today or yesterday but i can teach him a lesson and that i am going to do.....
SAINATH DEVALLA
(Expert) 14 April 2012
Vanashreeji,
If I say whatever happened has happened,I think I am not human.But you have to sail smoothly into the future.Still you have options left.No doubt he has played with your life and you have fallen into his trap,still my sincere request is forget him.I can surely say that he will never come back to you.Wait for sometime,erase every minute thing about the past,get married to a good gentleman,appraising him of your past.There is nothing wrong in it.God bless you and best of luck.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 14 April 2012
Vanashree, forget revenge, you are also equally guilty. you had lots of pleasure with him , and it results into pain, being opposite side of same coin goes together.
So now , follow what Shri Devalia says,
Just forget it, Start new life, informing all fact to a proposer, There are many who want warmth, love, affection,. and equally burnt like you. They live far happier than freshers!!!
Vanashree
(Querist) 14 April 2012
M.Devalla - i understand your concern about me and sure will try to do the same..........
Mr.Shroff - I know i have spent some good time with him but whatever i have done i thought i am doing that with my husband not with some XYZ.......so now why only i have to suffer ? i can understand taking revenge is not that easy , i may get more pain but dont you think somebody has to stop all this things ?
