Inter caste marige problm

rahul kumar (Querist) 09 October 2011 This query is : Resolved
sir my name is rahul kumar and i am from shillong,i love one grl and evn she love me but we both dont want to against our family,my age is 17 yaers 6month,i want to mary that grl but my family scard to talk ith grl family coz grls fatheris in army,
thy can take any legal action against me or my family whn my family go hr house and talk with hr family,sir i am doing engg and that grl in class 12,my fathr is techr,my sistr is doing MBA,my bro in engg final year,how to convince grls family for marige,
sir plsss reply

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Isaac Gabriel (Expert) 09 October 2011
You are underaged to think of legal recourse.

Shonee Kapoor (Expert) 09 October 2011
Better concentrate on your studies pal

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor
harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

kuldeep kumar (Expert) 09 October 2011
BETTER KEEP UR STUDIES GOOD OR GET RUINED

rahul kumar (Querist) 09 October 2011
means i cant do anytng,i wil mary with that grls aftr four years whn i complt my engg,sir any legal advice

rahul kumar (Querist) 09 October 2011
giv any advice to convinc hr family for marrige

R.Ramachandran (Expert) 09 October 2011
Dear Mr. Rahul,
Probably because of your young age, and your anxiety towards the girl in question, you are not in a position to either appreciate or understand what the Experts are telling you.

Currently, neither you nor the girl are in the legally permitted age for marriage.

Second, since you and the girl are still studying, better concentrate on your studies, come out successful in your studies and then think in terms of marriage, since by that time both of you might hopefully attain legally marriageable age.

When such is the legal status of both of you, currently there is no occasion or circumstance where there is any need for you to approach the parents of the girl for any marriage proposal. Therefore, there is also no need for any one of us to suggest you any steps to convince the girl's family.

PLEASE BOTH OF YOU TRY TO CONCENTRATE ON YOUR STUDIES.

Guest (Expert) 09 October 2011
wait for the time upto your majority and also of girl

kuldeep kumar (Expert) 09 October 2011
we cant give u that kind of advice.its ur matter.please them

Raj Kumar Makkad (Expert) 09 October 2011
I do agree with all experts especialy Ramchandran.

kuldeep kumar (Expert) 09 October 2011
women is destruction.focus ur taget and concentrate.100000000000 rupeee advice is given to u

rahul kumar (Querist) 09 October 2011
i kn sir study is more import thn any tng,i want to bcm suclful engg,sir i have told evrytng to hr family abut our love but till now no ansr cm from hr family,i dont want to mary now but aftr four years i wil mary,did any legal actn thy take against me or my family

rahul kumar (Querist) 09 October 2011
i dont want to liv any more,i want to suicide but i cant do coz of
my mom and dad

kuldeep kumar (Expert) 09 October 2011
do not suicide my dear.no action they can take agaist u.u complete ur degree and then come on lci

Ravikant Soni (Expert) 10 October 2011
My dear Rahul,
Marriage is not an ultimate aim of life. There are so many tasks to be done and the Almighty God send us to do in our life. Marriage is not made by the God. This relationship name is given by the human being to ascertain paternity of child. What the God made is love. And what you r doing is Love. It is the thing which the almighty God want.

But it is not the only thing to do. And love is not to do with only a girl you like. Somewhere it is your duty towards you parents, your siblings, society and the nation as well. I got pleasure to read that you want to be an engineer. so as suggested by Ramachandran Sir you should concentrate to your studies.
I m not saying to forget your girl but be stand for her. Somwhere she is also deserving something in you. so make her wished come true.

Ravikant Soni (Expert) 10 October 2011
Moreover,

Forget the disgusting thoughts of suicidal.

R.Ramachandran (Expert) 10 October 2011
Dear Rahul,

You are still a child. Less than 18 years of age is nothing. You lack experience in life.

You say "I have told evrytng to hr family abut our love but till now no ansr cm from hr family". Do you mean to say any parent of a girl will commit anything to a young boy who has not even become a major? If they do then they will become childish.

You also say: "i dont want to liv any more,i want to suicide but i cant do coz of my mom and dad." Do you mean to say that your girl whom you love so much would be happy if you commit Suicide? Then what happens to your commitment to her that you will live with her? You yourself say that you are going to marry only after 4 years. That's fine. But why suddenly you also say that you want to commit suicide? If you commit suicide now, then how you will marry her after 4 years? THIS SORT OF INCOHERENT THOUGHT ITSELF PROVES THAT YOU ARE YET TO MATURE. YOUR ACTIONS AND SPEECH ARE NOT CONSISTENT.

IF YOU TRULY LOVE THAT GIRL, AND TRULY RESPECT YOUR FAMILY - DAD, MOM, BROTHER, SISTER ETC. - THEN BOTH OF YOU HAVE TO FIRST CONCENTRATE ON YOUR STUDIES BE IT ENGINEERING, MEDICAL WHATEVER. Thereafter, when both of you become major, you think about your marriage and live happily.

Do not expect an answer from the girl's parents now itself. Being matured persons like us, they will also wait and see whether you complete your Engineering, and then when you become a major they will consider you worthy to give their daughter's hand to you! Till such time, you have to concentrate on your studies, accomplish your academic goal, and get marriage. By doing this, you will prove that how serious you are in your love with that girl.

Any other dirty talk about suicide etc., is non-sense and we would advise you not to think in those lines at all.

Sailesh Kumar Shah (Expert) 10 October 2011
Dear Rahul,

we are well wisher of you,please accept learned advocates's advise. Its for only your benefit and bright future.

rahul kumar (Querist) 10 October 2011
i am agre with your sugstn sir but hr family sercng boy to mary hr daughtr,thats why i tink to suicide,
why thy have problm to mary hr daughtr with me i am not bd boy at all,my family is vvv respctful in socty,
thy hav to fel hapy to marge hr daugtr with me coz i am uppr caste,
my family dont want any thg from grl family,
wat to do in that kind of situation,only i am scard if thy take any legal action agains my family thn wat i wil do that time,
most importnt point is that grl fathr in
"INDIAN ARMY"
thy have power to do anytng agnst me and my family.
i dont kn wat to do me always cryng,me not able to focus on my study,next month i am havng semstr exam,

"I TINK IN PREVIOUS LIFE I HAV DN SOMEMANY WRONG THG THATS WHY GOD PUNISH ME"
"WHY CASTE PROBLEM IS THR ONLY IN HINDU"
MY RESPECTD SIR I HAV HER THAT IN HINDU MARRIAGE ACT GOING TO CHANGE AND MARRIAGE IN SAME CASTE IS NOT ACPTD,IF THY MARY THY R BROTHR AND SISTR,I AM RIT OR WRONG SIR,

" I AM NOT BD BOY SIR PLS UNDSTND MY PROBLM"

Arun Kumar Bhagat (Expert) 10 October 2011
It reminds me of an old song in Hindi Movie of Expert Prabhakar Singhji's jamana---"Chhor de sari duniya kisike liye, yeh munasib nahi aadmi ke liye. Pyaar se bhi zaroori kayee kam hai,Pyaar sab kutch nahi zindagi ke liye".

R.Ramachandran (Expert) 10 October 2011
Dear Mr. Rahul,

With your each post, you are only exposing that you are still a child and yet to grow up!

If you are crying for that girl, instead of concentrating on your oncoming semester examination it shows that your are not prioritising your life.

Please remember, in the world, she is not the only one GIRL, there are many. Probably GOD has in store some one much more suitable to you.

Think positive - concentrate on your exam.

We are not thinking that you are a BAD Boy. If we consider you to be a bad boy then none of us would be answering your queries. Just because we also think that you are not a Bad Boy, but a Good Boy getting spoiled by the circumstances and not concentrating on his studies but something else for which he is not currently suitable, that we are keeping on advising you of the right and the wrong.

Except advising you, we have no other solution to offer.

Therefore, do not make any further posting here. Please concentrate on your studies come out successful and add prestige and pride to your family whom we know you regard and respect so much.

rahul kumar (Querist) 10 October 2011
whn i am sharng my problm me fel litl bit gud that why sir me post msg to u,if u tink that i am wastng your time thn i wil not post any mor msg to u,
U SHOULD TEL ME WAT TO DO NEXT
BUT U R TEL THAT U FORGT THAT GRL BUT ITS NOT POSIBL FOR ME COZ MY LOVE IS TRU,

WHOLE WORLD R VVVVVVV BD ONLY FEW PEPLS R GUD,SORY OR MEROKO APNA BATA SAMAJH KAR MAFF KAR DIJYGA,BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

R.Ramachandran (Expert) 10 October 2011
Dear Mr. Rahul,
I never said that you are wasting our time. I also did not say that you should forget the said Girl.

All that I said was that at this age, you should first concentrate on your studies and clear your academic course. That should be your priority. Once that is done, naturally you can concentrate on your love matter. Certainly not while you are still studying and not a major.

If your love is true, and if that girl is also truly loving you, then naturally both of you will be available for each of you.

So, presently concentrate on your studies. Please also tell your parents and your brother about your interest in the girl and how you are getting your concentration int he studies affected due to your interest in the girl. Being their son and brother, they will also give you good advice, comfort and confidence. Please share your feelings with your parents and brother also.

rahul kumar (Querist) 10 October 2011

my whole family undstnd my love problm but thy r helpless to help me,only once i want to talk hr uncle with phone wat thy tink abut me and wat thy want from me,thy can wait for four yaers or not,if thy want 70000 salry pr mont i wil do that kind of job,if i am fail thn no ned to mary hr daugtr with me,i am not soo gud in study but my pactl knowlg is more thn any scientic i kn that and will prove to whole world.

i kn sir u r telng rit to me but me stupid dont want to undstnd,

i want to kn hr family reactn abut me

rahul kumar (Querist) 10 October 2011
sir pls reply,soryyyyyy

R.Ramachandran (Expert) 10 October 2011
Dear Mr. Rahul,
Please understand. Even if I happen to be the parents of the girl, I will not be revealing my reaction to you now, until you succeed in your academics. As simple as that. You may promise that you will get more than 1 lakh also per month. That does not matter. As an Army Officer, I am also responsible to say to my colleagues and friends that my would be son in law is an Engineer / A pilot / A lawyer etc. etc. Please understand. First you deserve and then desire. You say you do not want to concentrate on your studies. That is not at all fair on your part. Money alone is not everything. But your education will get you the girl for you. So concentrate on your education.
I HAVE NO OTHER ANSWER.

kuldeep kumar (Expert) 10 October 2011
ur concern i understand mr rahul.u want to know what if i marry or take that girl away then what abt my family.its 100% sure that intial harrassment will be done to ur family and u.but nowhere u mentioned what about that girl.does she also think so that better live without parents.i think girl is more sensitive and she want to know what u can do.take view of that girl also and then judge urself what is best course of action.intial harrassment shall be and will be.but it is u have to manage.ur family should support u bearing in mind all kind of harrassment.i forgot a case very famous case where girl was called fro uk to give BAYAN and girl said everything agaist her boyfriend.so think much lighting matchbox

malipeddi jaggarao (Expert) 10 October 2011
Dear Mr.Rahul

1) do not entertain any suicide thoughts. It will not help you to achieve your goal.
2) You should realize that this is not the age for finalization of your marriage with anybody. If both of you can wait till you people settle down in your career, you can again bring this proposal in front of her parents.
3) They will not do anything to you and your family. Afterall they also love their daughter.
4) It is for the girl to avoid marriage with another boy. She should also feel concern for you.

The best way is concentrate on your careers, come out successfully, attain the marriageable age and then fight back with anybody to achieve your goal.

Have determination. Wish you good luck.

Isaac Gabriel (Expert) 10 October 2011
Dear Rahul,your query so far has made to post 29 replies, all of these are concerned with you and your future.Experts have recorded their rich experiences with utmost care. Time alone could find fitting solution for certain questions.So, face with confidence leaving the rest to the almighty.You have come to this forum with fond expectations,but openly exposing to end life has left the expert's forum with utter disappoinment.

rahul kumar (Querist) 10 October 2011
i kn sir i nevr gt disapointmnt with this forum,i always conect with u,whn i ned hlp or my frnds ned hlp from u,

prabhakar singh (Expert) 11 October 2011
Life is a going and none of us have put any contribution to what life is called,then none of us have any right to take it away.A time will come when one who gifted us life will take it from us even from those who at then may not be ready to leave this body.

Practically you need to convince the girl that when question of her marriage arises she may say that she will do it after graduation which their guardian will understand ,time will pass and you both by that time would become of AGE and able to decide legally to marry as then guardian of either shall have no right to interfere in your decision.

Sailesh Kumar Shah (Expert) 11 October 2011
Mr. rahul kumar

Nice to know that you have understood.

Guest (Expert) 16 October 2011
Try to live your life with dignity. Attain and show maturity and higher qualifications on your part. Once you are able to show your capabilities to maake your dream girl survive honourably, the parents of the girl would also agree provided your girl friend is also fully determined to spend her whole life with you.

Inter caste marige problm

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