Legal way to save my married life.
Gururaj S K
(Querist) 05 May 2017
This query is : Resolved
Hi, I am GURU from Bangalore.
Subject: Regarding family issue.
Dear Sir / Madam,
Hereby I would like to explain that I got married to a girl XYZ on 25th DEC 2013. Whom I loved from 14th DEC 2008 (I proposed in the month of SEP 2008 and she accepted on 14th DEC 2008).
You might ask why too much gap between love and marriage. Since she told that she will marry me after completion of engineering.
But now we are facing huge misunderstandings between me and my wife.
Hence seeking legal advice how I can proceed.
Details story:
I started loving her from Sep 2008. It was going good. Immediately after her acceptance we informed our respective families. She is distant relative.
At the time acceptance, she informed that she loved 3 boys and they broke up by using her. And asked me in this status do u accept me? Since I love her too much and accepted her whole heartedly. And appreciated her for being straight forward.
In 2009 she joined engineering in one of the college in Bangalore. I look after her Tution fees, Text books, partial monthly expenses. Taking her out for refreshment. All was going on well.
During 2010 she informed like two of her close friends (1 male and 1 female) unable to pass the exams and expecting her to teach. She asked my permission. I said go ahead. You are doing good work by teaching fail candidates.
But one day I found few messages sent by her friend (male -fail student) stating “ I want to hug you, Kiss you etc…..” when I asked with XYZ who is he, she didn’t respond to me and avoided me by not receiving my call.
Later on, one day she apologized for the mistake happened by her and explained the things happened between her and his friend (which went till bed room). I was literally upset. Even after providing so much of freedom and necessity items why she is doing like this. And she begged me not to leave her alone. Considering her guilty factor I accepted again.
Afterwards in Jan 2011 she started suffering from Ovarian cyst. Initially we went one doctor and treatment was not successful. I checked up with my friends and family and found right doctor and started treatment to her. Taking her to hospital every month. Getting her medicines everything required for her. None of her family members to take her even for a single month. With god grace it got cured in the month of JULY 2016.
Few quarrels been going on between me and XYZ. She never wants to accept the mistakes. Even though it’s her mistake she don’t want to accept. By the way I need to inform age difference between me and my wife is 5yrs 6 months. Being a senior I was thinking she will be right one or the other day
During her final year engineering, to guide her I suggested one of my friend for her project.
She completed her engineering June 2008. and married on 25th DEC 2013.
After marriage she never did any house work
• I used to sweep the floor
• Clean the toilet
• Keep the things right at home.
• Cook food for her.
• Taking her to hospital till it get cures ( till JULY 2016)
• Need to put water for heating before she wakes up.
• Used to get breakfast every day till she start working.
Been continued like this. She used quarrel and was going to PG and staying there for 1 or 2 months and come back after my several requests.
After marriage, she went to PG in the month of march (due to some quarrelling and hope I slapped her for her mistake) and left me alone.
At this particular period, I found few of the messages in her mobile which she left ( she took only SIM with her) stating “DARLING” to my friend which I suggested her to take help for her project.
I shown the messages to her family and they said since the messages are pertaining to the date before our marriage and I compromised at that point also.
I was assuming like she will look after me very well since I accepted her mistakes and treating her in way as before.
She started working as trainer in one the PU college from SEP 2014. I allowed her to go for a job even though she had a bad history. She was not ready to come to my native place.
For that also I adjusted and started leading life. In few of the quarrels she also beat me, I also slapped her. In every quarrel her family members started interfering and supporting her by saying its not yet all her mistake.
Recently she is always be on calls till 12:30 (not official calls) might be by her friends.
I suspect it might be extra marital affair. Because no friends can speak all the 7 days till late night, the way she dress, way she go out and come back late night.
Another reason for suspect is that she is forcing me to give divorce. I am not interested in giving her divorce.
If she go and apply for divorce, How I need to proceed?
If her extra marital affair proved during Divorce judgement, does she will be sent to jail. If yes how many years??
Her family members didn’t allow me to know in which PG she is staying. Can I file case against them?
We have not mate from 1 1/2 years, in this case can I file a case against her?
Not coming to any of my family functions nor just to my parents visit. How can I go ahead with this situation??
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 05 May 2017
" she is forcing me to give divorce. I am not interested in giving her divorce."
Then try to save your marriage.
Find a job for her near you in your city.
Be big hearted as you have been, as per your post.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 05 May 2017
"Her family members didn’t allow me to know in which PG she is staying. Can I file case against them?
We have not mate from 1 1/2 years, in this case can I file a case against her?
Not coming to any of my family functions nor just to my parents visit. How can I go ahead with this situation?? "
If you are contemplating divorce and she is willing, prefer MCD.
It shall be quick and less time consuming.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 05 May 2017
Approach a very able counsel of unshakable repute and integrity specializing in Family matters and spend quality time.
Let your own counsel at your own location draft the T&C for MCD to defend your long term interest.
Gururaj S K
(Querist) 05 May 2017
If she don't agree to lead a life with me. And if her extra marital affairs proved means then what kind of judgement I can expect
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 06 May 2017
Your problem is more psychological than legal.
Someone sent one message to your wife (you never said that she also responded) still she apologized.
later what you did is nothing unusual rather your legal duty.
you never said where/how and in what manner she is guilty. The combination of wording shows that her development of medical problem was her fault. (sure you do not mean so).
Then you said you started beating her.
In this situation the parents of the girl well within their right and duty to intervene./ There are many persons who come to this forum who say that saving daughter from marital violence is "interference". You are not the first of last one.
You have created a problem wherein word "divorce" came in your dictionary.
Given facts do not indicate that you have damaged your life beyond repair. You may either work hard to spoil further or may take a "U" turn.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 06 May 2017
Normally one doe snot have time to read such long narrative but still I attempted to understand which you may not like being Indian Husband.
Now coming to specific questions you raised.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 06 May 2017
If she go and apply for divorce, How I need to proceed?
YOU HAVE CHOICES.
(i) REMOVE THE CONDITIONS COMPELLING HER TO GO FOR DIVORCE.
(ii) APPOINT LAWYER AND DEFEND THE CASE AND KEEP VISITING COURTS FOR YEARS.
(iii) AGREE FOR MUTUAL DIVORCE.
HER OPTION
TO HAVE YOU ARRESTED ON TRUE/FALSE CASE OF 498a WHEREIN YOU WILL AGREE FOR DIVORCE.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 06 May 2017
If her extra marital affair proved during Divorce judgement, does she will be sent to jail. If yes how many years??
SORRY. YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT I SAY
THIS IS TYPICAL ASIAN HUSBAND THINKING.
BUT UNFORTUNATELY YOU ARE NOT LIVING IN15TH CENTURY INDIA NOR YOU ARE LIVING IN TALIBAN RULED AFGHANISTAN WHEREIN WIVES WERE SENT TO JAIL FOR ESCAPING TORTURE.
You can see your wishful thinking – you can see the following link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWsSVkzskos
---------
You can see how Taliban regime was heavy on women.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 06 May 2017
Her family members didn’t allow me to know in which PG she is staying. Can I file case against them?
WHEN YOUR WIFE IS DECIDING NOT TO TELL YOU HERE WHEREABOUTS THEN HER PARENTS ARE UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO SHARE THIS INFORMATION EVEN IF THEY KNOW.
THEY ARE NOT TRADERS WHO SOLD YOU A COMMODITY WHICH IS UNDER WARRANTED PERIOD NOR THEY ARE INSURERS OF YOUR MATRIMONIAL LIFE.
IT MAY BE IN YOUR INTEREST TO KNOW HOW MANY CASES CAN BE FILED ON YOU.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 06 May 2017
We have not mate from 1 1/2 years, in this case can I file a case against her?
MANY PERSONS WILL ADVISE YOU TO SEND NOTICE FOR RESTITUTION OF CONJUGAL RIGHTS AND YOU WILL BE OVERWHELMED AND FEEL HAPPIEST MAN.
BUT THIS NOTICE IS A GUARANTEED TOOL TO COMPEL A WIFE TO REGISTER TRUE/FALSE CRIMINAL CASE ON HUSBAND, PARENTS MARRIED/UNMARRIED BROTHER/SISTER WITH/WITHOUT THEIR SPOUSES.
SHE HAS NO CHOICE THEN
THIS FORUM IS FULL OF SUCH QUERIES.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 06 May 2017
Not coming to any of my family functions nor just to my parents visit. How can I go ahead with this situation??
YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN PROVIDED THREE OPTIONS.
SHE IS UNDER NO LEGAL OBLIGATION TO VISIT YOUR PARENTS IF SHE (RIGHTLY/WRONGLY)DOE SNOT LIKE THEM.
I AM NOT ASKING YOU WHETHER SHE IS WRONG OR YOUR PARENTS ARE WRONG. I KNOW YOUR REPLY IN INDIA THE PARENTS OF HUSBAND ARE NEVER WRONG. ONLY WIFE AND HER PARENTS HAVE A DUTY TO BE PROVED WRONG.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 06 May 2017
Well explained. Agree with the expert Sudhir Kumar.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 06 May 2017
"MANY PERSONS WILL ADVISE YOU TO SEND NOTICE FOR RESTITUTION OF CONJUGAL RIGHTS AND YOU WILL BE OVERWHELMED AND FEEL HAPPIEST MAN."
Agreed with Mahodya Sudhir Kumarji.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 06 May 2017
“If she don't agree to lead a life with me.”
As already posted:
If you are contemplating divorce and she is willing, prefer MCD.
It shall be quick and less time consuming.
Approach a very able counsel of unshakable repute and integrity specializing in Family matters and spend quality time.
Let your own counsel at your own location draft the T&C for MCD to defend your long term interest.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 06 May 2017
Thanks for agreeing Ushaji.
R.K Nanda
(Expert) 07 May 2017
nothing to add more.
