My husband fought and left me after 6months of marriage.
Querist :
Anonymous
(Querist) 28 January 2020
This query is : Resolved
ours was Love cum arrange marriage. we knew and are in love with each other from past 11 yrs. His life is full of comparison never he has lived his life as he wants, always compare even small things with others life . i left him because of this nature and he approached my parents directly for marriage proposal falling to thier feet and my feet many times . he manipulated and convinced my parents and they forced me to agree for marriage.i gave him chance to prove that he has changed for good and i took nearly a year to agree for marriage. but after agreeing for marriage when my parents asked him to get his parents thats when the problem started. His mom is totally against this marriage he got his mom once ,she came and spoke very rashly with my parents and gave conclusion his sister is there we shd marry her then we ll see of this marriage, My parents were not at all happy with her behaviour but still they waited for a year for his sister marriage but nothing happened. After a year my parents again asked him to decide and get his parents to speak about marriage and also said if you guys are still pushing furthure we will look out for other alliance, we cant wait nor marry our daughter to a house who doesnt respect our daughter. he again got his mom once ,again same drama happened. later he begged my parents for time and he got his dad after 5 months. my parents were not concerned about his family as he gave so much of false assurance that he will look after me more than his parents. My dad spoke with them and finalized the engagements date and went to thier house with our relatives to inform them and this was first visit of my parents. they din respond so good to my parents but still my parents din take it heart and started doing all arrangements for engagments , thats when all problem started his greedy mom started demanding for each and everything,you shd book choutry in bangalore only it shd hold atleast 2k ppl, food shd be like this,rituals shd be as she wants , everything she is used to demand. my parents adjusted to some extent and later i used to say very clearly we are doing marriage we cant keep listening to each and every demand and i let myself as a bridge BW both side parents and told decision of the things required for marriage. We are of same caste but we are upper creed and they are lower, usually our side they dont marry daughters to lower creed but still my parents agreed and faced elder and relatives for this. We had booked choutry for marriage, catering , decorations for both marriage and engagement even before engagement date. But unfortunatley 2 days before engangment my granny expired so we had to cancel the engagment, even before that my dad and his mom had fought for Poojari matter and that lady started saying my son will listen as i say he will dress and sit if i say or else he won sit in engagment which resulted in my dad saying its better we cancel this. Later we finished funeral and all last rghts of my granny and came back and these ppl started playing games . they just denied and cancelled the marriage telling horoscope is not matching and they were so agressive they started blocking me and my parents everywhere . i reached out to him via mutual frnd and he told that i shd meet his mom and speak , if she agrees then we will continue, for the first time in my life i encountered such situation where my life and family reputation is in stake as everyone knew about the marriage and we had made payemtns for all marriage expense. i let go of my Ego and self respect and went to her to ask valid reason for cancellation of marriage, she started saying bad things about my dad so i told her clearly how his son fooled my parents giving false assurance and hiding things from her for all marriage matter and cheated us saying we ll move out of India after marriage so that there will not be any issues from my mom to ur daughter, i couldnt take her nonsense anymore and just asked final decision she just said horoscope is not matching i told her if so then why did it match when she went to ask dates for marriage and engagement that time she din had any horoscope problem, later his dad gave reason saying they will ask gods blessing its their custome and all other stuff . i said fine let me know your final decision and came back. after few days she calls and shouts and says i will commit suicide writing your dad and your name if you come back to my son. I finalized to cancel this relationship and moved on .but Later his parents only came and approached only me and spoke god gave blessing and said we will communicate with you only , but i said i can be channel of communication but final decision will be taken by my parents only they agreed. Later i took my mom and uncle to his place to discuss about new engagement dates as he was travelling abroad for two months. Everything was going smooth till the day before marriage when rituals needs to be performed, There was huge fight in choutry , his mom used very agressive and abusive words as if she is spending money for marriage and we shd listen as she says to my mom in brides room infront of all my relatives. My Aunt informed this to my dad and he approached to groom room and said we are baring all expenses and from 3 months we are doing everything without sleep and food, u have come for marriage like guest so give respect to girls side and dont speak like that to us. For this his she did so much drama ,cried and starting saying ppl choutry that me and mom trapped his son for marriage and she wanted him to cancel the marriage ,dono after that what they decided he din speak anything. during muhurtam even before tieing knot i asked him openly marry only if he loves me and genuinely want to lead life with me or else you are free to walk from choutry and gave him choice but he din utter a word and tied knot . But just one hr after marriage he started showing his true colors saying you guys shd listen what ever my mom says we are guys side we will shout and scold you guys shd bare . My parents spent more than 25lakhs for marriage fullfulling all thier demands and my so called husband and his family speak as if its nothing .These ppl are not even equivalent to my family status in any means but still act like they are rich and good ppl. My parents told me to adjust as now marriage is done . There is no even one person who said good about my mother in Law , everyone just said you shdnt have given daughter . My mother in law mother itself said its very difficult to live with her , u shd be like a slave listen to each and everything u say then u can live in that house or else never she will allow you to live with ur husband, It was a real shocker and they are saying this after marriage is done. even i left all the fights and was thinking to start over new life, but as they say never a mother in law will allow the daughter in law to live happily with her son . I have never seen nor heard of such women who wanted to come to honeymoon along with us. the day we are about to go to honeymoon she calls me and scold i shd hit my son in slippers for marrying you .i came out of airport and din wanted to go but my husband assured he will speak with her and we ll go away and live separately outside India and fooled me. every 2 hrs she calls, msgs and tortured my husband when we were in honeymoon. i don understand what kind of women she is , if she cant let go of her son then she shdnt marry him at all and ruin a girl life who left everything for him. Everyday its a drama in that house, he Promised to my parents before marriage every weekend we will go to your parents place but not even one week after marriage he came, my parents were broken because he broke all his promises he made before marriage and now says i shd love his mom, call her and ask had bf, coffee, lunch ,tea.I am working women i shd work in home, clean the house, cook food and then go to office, what more do they want me to do i dont understand and i cant do more than this even i have my carrier aspriation. Sorry for the language why the hell shd i call her and ask this everyday dont i have better work to do in office. i clearly told his parent and my husband i am not here to please evryone in this house and especially not your mother. she is the main reason me and my husband fight everyday and he listens to his mom like a puppet. if she says go to temple he will go if she denies he won go. they watsapp whole time living in same house ,fucking i dont understand what is there to speak in msgs when he and his mom are sitting in Hall. After coming back from office he doesnt have 5 min for me, he will be watching tv, mobile ,chat with his mother, msg her and will sit with her till she gets ready to sleep. i dont sit in hall as father in law will be there always watching TV, he is person who just lives in that house , never speaks for anything so i go back to room but my husband never comes and doesnt spend time with me. but he has problem that i go to parents place which is just 20 km in the weekends. entire weekdays he cant spend 5 min and complains weekend i wont be with him. Tel me one thing for newly married does Place matter to spend quality time together, let it be his house or my parents place it shdnt matter ,only thing which shd matter is both shd spend time together , his mom never allows us to go outside even for a meal. once we went out for dinner and came back she started taunting and din eat , second time my father in law did same. I shd think about them to spend time with my husband , i dono i married a men or his bloody family that i shd please them for each and everything.As a wife expecting to spend time with husband is a crime to my mother in law and husband . Somehow 6 months passed and i was so depressed and frustrated with thier behaviour and the way they treat me in house as an outsider. the person whom i loved for 11yrs and the person i m married and living from past 6 months is complete different person and all his true face came to reality. My husband has house but he wants to buy another house because of mom force, that lady has never thought any good deeds about his father and she has always shown that his father has ruined thier lives . so as son you shd settle me u shd buy other house , he started searching house and finalized one house worth 1.25cr to purchase , funny part is they dont have single penny in hand to buy it , they shd sell some property and take loan to buy that house. this was realization for me where my husband started asking me to take loan for 40lakhs , i denied on his face that i have my commitments and will not be able to get loan for such huge amount. when i deined , he approached my parents say your daughter is not giving salary certificate for me to take loan my parents were surprised its just been 4months of marriage and your asking loan to buy house. i was angry and fought with him to not get my parents involved in these things these things shd be BW husband and wife not with parents. he was not happy with me after that ,we stopped speaking we used to just live in same house but live as strangers. coming to actual fight, there was my niece naming ceremony fun so i asked his and left just the night before function, that time he din have problem. He arrived to function very late and was in hurry to leave bcoz his great mother India was calling him to come back to house. me and my mom came out to drop him that time my mom asked there is function , she is willing to come will take her along thats all. he started fighting on road with my mother , what manners have you thought her, being mother you shd tel come with husband , your married you shdnt come to your parents place at all . you shd say to your daughter not to speak with you guys not to come to your house in weekends, and started speaking bad about my father and false allegations which got my mom angry and they fought. he started speaking in singular with my mom and said keep your daughter in your house only. my brother came and stopped the fight and my husband left . its been three months he has not contacted me in any ways. my brother has reached out to him and wanted to meet F2F he is not agreeing. his sister called and spoke with my parents in bad ways so even my father broke silence and scolded them back for that he is offended itseems. His close frnds approached me to meet him , i agreed but he doesnt want to meet me. He says i din hit and her send out of house, she went to function she din come back and told his frnds let her come with her parents and beg my parents . I really pity such guy, who thinks after marriage the girl shd listen and be however bad they treat her and her parents . she doesnt have choice to leave and go as society ll speak bad about her and being men what ever i do is correct. frankly speaking such coward is not worthy enough to be even called as MEN ,he is not worthy enough to fight for or to live with him such miserable life . He says i will get100 ppl like your daughters but i won leave my mom and come . my mom is important for me not your daughter. I dont want to apporach this person nor his pathetic family ever again. I want to get rid of this marriage. I am planning to give a police complaint against him and meet him for last time as i want to go for Mutual consent Divorce and i want all the expenses of marriage spent by parents back. Please suggest me is going to Police station giving complaint will help him realize his mistake and will come to meet for the last time. there is no point in staying far and not getting the issue resolved with so much hateredness on both side its really impossible to patch up and go back to that hell and live life with his mother each day. I request Please suggest me how to proceed furthur.
Guest
(Expert) 28 January 2020
You had said it,s a Love Marriage
Guest
(Expert) 28 January 2020
As per your statements he is in urgent need of Psychological Counselling and arrange for it in a Pleasant and Polite manner
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 28 January 2020
You might have put the facts of your query in short and relevant form but have put entire facts leading to meet initially with your boy friend who ultimately became your husband despite of every ifs and buts of him in your kind knowledge and now you want to get rid of him.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 28 January 2020
Your first question is whether your husband shall feel his mistake once you file a police complaint against him and its answer is God knows. If you couldn't understand that person since last many years, how can we?
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 28 January 2020
In your second question-you asked how to proceed. Engage a lawyer and then proceed with a package of cases against your husband which include maintenance petition. DV Act petition, Section 9/13 petition etc.
Dr J C Vashista
(Expert) 30 January 2020
Too long a story, no time / energy to go through and oblige.
It is advisable to consult a local prudent lawyer for appreciation of facts/ documents, professional advise and necessary proceeding.
