Need advice
payel
(Querist) 08 March 2013
This query is : Resolved
Hello..i would like to mention that iam going through a contested divorce for the last one a half year and i want help and advice badly..during the court hearings my ex came up with one option of asking for time or dates to think about the matter of divorce..now there is a final date for him to present his views on 18/03/2013. my lawyer advised that it would be an exparte divorce if he does not turn up adn if he turns up my hearing would start in the court.
i would like to metion that i do not want any property, allimony or custody of our child who is presently staying with his father and is 11 years age. i do not earn much and my working hours are hectic as a result of which i cannot take proper care of my son as his dad would. hence i have not claimed any property any custody or any allimony. i just want a plain and simple divorce but my ex is not ready to give it to me
my question is what are the next steps for this divorce. how long can he continue to defer this process. i wnt to resettle in my life and i am not able to do so . moreover i would liek to state that there is a property which is joint and he is asking me to sign and submit some papers for the registration.
i am fighting this case for the last 2 years and i want to know how long and in wat ways can he defer the case? i dont want anythng from him then why is this taking so long to resolve? what should i do to get this done asap if possible within this year..please advise
ajay sethi
(Expert) 08 March 2013
contested divorce proceedings drag on for years .your husband is lucky that you are not demanding any alimony ,. maintenance or child custody .persuade your hubby to settle for divorce by mutual consent .
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 09 March 2013
The opinion of your lawyer is proper. Wait for some more time and get the desired results after some more time.
JT Rajasuriya, Chennai
(Expert) 09 March 2013
Divorce cannot be obtained as a matter of right. There should be valid reasons. It seems that you are more bothered about yourself - what about your husband and child - they may not want to resttle their lives with someone lese.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 09 March 2013
Why r u in HURRY??
Haste makes Waste..God may want you both to re-unite..
Your children may need their beloved mother!!together with their father.
ANY EX- PARTE DECREE OF DIVORCE IS APPEALABLE, AND WILL WASTE YOUR MORE TIME .
u r working, and cannot get mtn.
What he get by doing so??
Life is give and Take,
Not Take and Give...
QUESTION IS " WHY YOUR HUSBAND SHOULD HELP YOU GIVING DIVORCE?? " ANY VALID REASON, ANY PRUDENT AND WISE CAUSE??
payel
(Querist) 11 March 2013
i understand all of your concern but maybe keeping the divorce issue apart you are being judgemental by hearing a part of the story..let me put it across to you..i got married at the age of 18 to a man who is 15 years elder than me..i was not very matured to understand what being in a marriage is..my father wanted me to get married to this person although the rest of the family were against it..
things were okay for the first 2 months..then things started getting worse..my ex had a bad temper and this led to he hitting me for no reason! i became a mom at the age of 20 and i had to go thru an emergency operation becoz i was forced for sexual activity..which was a cause of fight which was minor amongst a couple..this led to a great injury to my ovaries for which am sufferting till date !
my son was a premature child and both mother and child was in the ICU for 5 days..this was wat that man is ..
things went on worse and minor hittings became brutal leading to severeness hits ..which made me bleed badly and it was done in the presence of my son and a maid ! my inlaws and my parents were aware of this ..many a times they had come over to resolve the issue..he would promise and again start..
i educated myself and in the year 2010 when my son was 10years old i got a job which was enuf for me to sustain in kolkata..but one day things went worse..my ex brought a jar of keroscene and call called my dad..infront of him he said he wud burn me alive right tat time..tat was the final day for me in that house
let me also make it clear to all of you who think we should unite that i did try to resolve issues for 13 YEARS OF MY LIFE WHICH IS NOT VERY SHORT ! BUT I HAVE MY PATIENCE TOO..do you think am being selfish in this????
am a mother too and it is extremely difficult for me to stay withut my son but am doing so only for one reason! i want my son to have a good life and education which i in my present salary cant give it to him..and i am not away from my son..i stay in the same city and do visit him and talk to him ..i hope u realise that if a son is being deprived of his mother isnt the mother going thru pain too??? he is a part of me and i know the pain but am doing this for his own good..i know his dad will give him all that he needs which i cant..i would expect you to think from some logical point of view on this too..
i was still concerned abut his respect and that is the reason i did not file any case aagainst him..maybe that was where i went wrong..
do u think even if we reunite i can get back those days of my l ife which has gone in vain and pain??? dont i being a human being deserve some better life?? i just wanted to know how long would that case last at the maximum limit..coz we still live in a country like india where women are matter of negligence and harrasment day in and day out and a woman like me is always looked down upon int the society..dont i deserve a life of respect and some happiness?? is this called being selfish?? and do you think my child would grow up to be a happy child in such an environment??? atleast he is somewhat happy since he is not seeing the torture a woman /mother receives!
now you tell me AM I RIGHT OR WRONG ???
payel
(Querist) 14 March 2013
i understand all of your concern but maybe keeping the divorce issue apart you are being judgemental by hearing a part of the story..let me put it across to you..i got married at the age of 18 to a man who is 15 years elder than me..i was not very matured to understand what being in a marriage is..my father wanted me to get married to this person although the rest of the family were against it..
things were okay for the first 2 months..then things started getting worse..my ex had a bad temper and this led to he hitting me for no reason! i became a mom at the age of 20 and i had to go thru an emergency operation becoz i was forced for sexual activity..which was a cause of fight which was minor amongst a couple..this led to a great injury to my ovaries for which am sufferting till date !
my son was a premature child and both mother and child was in the ICU for 5 days..this was wat that man is ..
things went on worse and minor hittings became brutal leading to severeness hits ..which made me bleed badly and it was done in the presence of my son and a maid ! my inlaws and my parents were aware of this ..many a times they had come over to resolve the issue..he would promise and again start..
i educated myself and in the year 2010 when my son was 10years old i got a job which was enuf for me to sustain in kolkata..but one day things went worse..my ex brought a jar of keroscene and call called my dad..infront of him he said he wud burn me alive right tat time..tat was the final day for me in that house
let me also make it clear to all of you who think we should unite that i did try to resolve issues for 13 YEARS OF MY LIFE WHICH IS NOT VERY SHORT ! BUT I HAVE MY PATIENCE TOO..do you think am being selfish in this????
am a mother too and it is extremely difficult for me to stay withut my son but am doing so only for one reason! i want my son to have a good life and education which i in my present salary cant give it to him..and i am not away from my son..i stay in the same city and do visit him and talk to him ..i hope u realise that if a son is being deprived of his mother isnt the mother going thru pain too??? he is a part of me and i know the pain but am doing this for his own good..i know his dad will give him all that he needs which i cant..i would expect you to think from some logical point of view on this too..
i was still concerned abut his respect and that is the reason i did not file any case aagainst him..maybe that was where i went wrong..
do u think even if we reunite i can get back those days of my l ife which has gone in vain and pain??? dont i being a human being deserve some better life?? i just wanted to know how long would that case last at the maximum limit..coz we still live in a country like india where women are matter of negligence and harrasment day in and day out and a woman like me is always looked down upon int the society..dont i deserve a life of respect and some happiness?? is this called being selfish?? and do you think my child would grow up to be a happy child in such an environment??? atleast he is somewhat happy since he is not seeing the torture a woman /mother receives!
now you tell me AM I RIGHT OR WRONG ???
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 18 March 2013
Since this your life, you are its best judge.
If you think you can condone then go back to him. if not then seek legal recourse.
payel
(Querist) 19 March 2013
i guess i have already made my choice and that is the reason i am fighting it out for the last 2 years..
however i would liek to mention that i had my hearing yesterday and in that my ex came up with his petition stating that all i have stated is fasle and is just a got up case..
my question is what do i do in such a scenario ..can u suggest me a lawyer in kolkata who has the capability to deal with such complicated issues and resolve it soon..i have already spent 40 thousand .am pennyles now..i want to get this case resolved this year..please help and let me know how can i do it ..
