Problem with husband
Ash
(Querist) 12 August 2013
This query is : Resolved
I am 36 years old. I married my husband in the year 2008. it was a love marriage. I had some family issues, that is my father had expired and my sister had expired she had two children whom I am taking care of. My husband is a doctor and I am working for an MNC firm.
Before marrying my husband I had informed my husband that I will keep my sis children and my mom with me, he had agreed and got married. after my marriage the third day, he wanted a divorce as his parents where not happy with the marriage. However I had managed the situation for 5 years. there has been situation where my husband has not come to see me when I was carrying for 3 months. I have been in mental tortures. I have a 2 year old son and the same this is being repeated. Now I am not working. I dont want my son to be in trouble as I feel that he doesnt care for me. he alwys creates a fight. There has been time that there was a girl who actually wanted to marry him, but did not happen as he had married me already. I am not sure what is there in his mind.I feel that he is nt interested in this marriage I need your advice.please suggest
Tajobsindia
(Expert) 12 August 2013
What advice shall you be given ! Agony aunt or legal?
Love marriage has that flavor with passage of time r/w urban stressful lifestyle and thus one needs to adjust, sacrifice or go separate ways amicably.
This advice requires talk and talk and talk with your husband. Middle path always brings pain.
If for society sake keeping marriage bond is essential then opt for court separation and look after yourself with three minors and services to once mother and after takign mini gap year enggage yourself back to work.
If for your own good with three tiny tots and mother’s best interest though line is there for better quality of life then amicably talk with him on parting terms and translate them onto mutual consent divorce and carry forward with life in flat 6 months.
Lastly, if want to give marriage a booster dose then opt for marriage counselor services where spouses jointly surrender to counselor’s advise to re-kindle their sinking marriage.
Choose wisely the best option that may work.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 12 August 2013
If he does not need marriage then you have decide what do you want?
If you also do not want this marriage continue any longer then you can settle for mutual divorce.
Otherwise you can resist in his attempt to get divorce and claim for your rights including that of maintenance.
prabhakar singh
(Expert) 12 August 2013
Most of the problems or root causes of them lie at the unconscious, achieving results by addressing only the apparent is not definite.
In ancient India,females were loved, nursed and treated as cows and were taught to deeply understand husbands as second to GOD.
From there journey has come far ahead that they are not now even SPOUSES but HUSBAND & WIFE,or WIFE & HUSBAND.
So often we find two individuals,a physical
state of affair,without existence of chemistry which is must for being called SPOUSE.
You should take the charge of the things in proactive manner.Your first step should be to examine yourself,what is therein your 'subconsciousness'.Is that 'fear'of his inclinement with 'other' is causing 'distancing' or really there is a distance
'created'
What intentions you carry for benevolence of your child?Is life of your tie with HIM is necessary for welfare of your child.No therapy can read you better than you can read yourself.LOOK into yourself coolly and meditate,solution shall come forward.Solution to all problems a human faces lies in in owns mind some timeputs may be needed from outside,e.g.,in case it is legal,inputs from lawyer and like wise may be needed.
These are not the topics of law.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 12 August 2013
Try to understand what Shri Prabhakarju explained.
Try to act on it.
OR LEGAL ACTION & COURTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN AS A RIGHT FORT ALL WOMEN OF INDIA.
Ash
(Querist) 12 August 2013
Thanks for the advice. I tried to take. Mutual divorce he is threathing that he would take the child and not allow him to see me.I have also gone through domestic violence before.I have no men support.all I have is my old mother. One more thing is that the lady who wanted to marry him is still influencing him and provoking things against him. Since I am staying with him.I dont know how to move out.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 12 August 2013
Try to settle amicably, well advised by the experts.
If it is not possible move for divorce better with Mutual Consent.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 12 August 2013
If you can not move out then stay with him.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 14 August 2013
It is better to amicably settle the issues because ultimately life is the name of a compromise.
