Regarding love marriage....
kishore
(Querist) 10 July 2013
This query is : Resolved
sir..iam 32 years and she is 27 years...we loved since 3 years....next sir...my lover got elephantiasis diseases ( i mean fat legs disease)...next she is forcing for marriage....but am not interested till cure of elephantiasis....becaz am doing small job..i cant spend much money for hospital bills becaz elephasis disease will never cure just prevention..next..sir if i marry her also i cant get happy life becaz that disease will never cure...only prevention........but now gal start telling me she will commit suicide if i don't marry her.....next sir am getting scaring by her words tat SHE WILL COMMIT SUICIDE....becaz i have to face lot of problems if she commits suicide.....next sir am open i don't have physical relation with her..just phone,next casual meet...next chatting...but never i have physical relationship.... am becoming mental tension.....how to overcome situation....
Dr. Jyothi Vishwanath
(Expert) 11 July 2013
Things are critical and emotional. Be humble and soft to her. She is undergoing trauma and suffering already due to the disease. Slowly explain her the things and not direct refusal. After all you have been loving her since last 3 years. You cannot suddenly throw her out of your life like this. What you would have done if she was attacked by this disease after marriage???
So try to handle the situation carefully, slowly and instead of direct refusal, explain her the reality properly.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 11 July 2013
You must not have maintained such relation for this long time. You have played with the emotions of a girl who is suffering from disease. If you have done so knowingly it is shocking.
Handle the situation tactfully in diplomatic way now.
prabhakar singh
(Expert) 11 July 2013
Did you have in your mind the time you started to love her that if she would get with a disease you would drop her?
Has she willingly taken the disease?
What if disease would have been caught post marriage?
So go soft with her you marry or not is your concern.But for sure you were not in love with her. It was just what usually goes now a days.
Advocate Ravinder
(Expert) 11 July 2013
I completely agree with above experts, but at the same time, if the author do not wish to marry her, then what is the position, we cannot compel him to marry her. It is his personal matter.
We have to give him some legal remedy. By the explanation of author, it is understood that at the time of starting love, the decease was not there, it had developed later.
My advise is the author has to give a registered legal notice and emails to her and her parents stating that he is not interested in marrying her, many time she uttered that she wil comit suicide, hence if anything happens, I am not responsible and I am ready to help her morally and also monetarily to cure her decease. To somewhat you will be relieved.
prabhakar singh
(Expert) 11 July 2013
Pardon me SIR Ravinder.P for interruption in your answer.
i DISAGREE WITH THIS PART OF YOUR ANSWER "and I am ready to help her morally and also monetarily to cure her decease."BECAUSE HE STATES IN HIS QUERY SIR THAT ".becaz am doing small job..i cant spend much money for hospital bills becaz elephasis disease will never cure just prevention..next.."
Advocate Ravinder
(Expert) 11 July 2013
Yes, yes, I agree with you prabhaker sir, but there is no other way to escape from crimincal charge. Instead of facing criminal case, it is better to spend some money, the author has to understand the situation here.
When he is going away from the obligation of marrying with her and being supportive to her, it is his least duty to support her atleast in a monetary way, otherwise there in no humanism.
prabhakar singh
(Expert) 11 July 2013
Does humanism gets saved the way sir Ravinder.P defines?
Dr. Jyothi Vishwanath
(Expert) 11 July 2013
Just try to convince the girl properly about your feelings. She may not accept your monetary help if you are not marrying her. Don't react harshly but meet her parents and keep them informed about her intentions.
kishore
(Querist) 11 July 2013
DEAR PRABHAKAR SIR....IAM NOT LIKE OTHER GUYS SIR READY TO MARRY AND SAVE GAL...BUT SITUTION IS NOT GOOD...I MEAN I ENQUIRED WITH DOCTORS TAT SHE CANNOT MARRY.....EVEN U CAN SEE MATTER IN INDIAN GOVERNAMENT WEBSITE...http://nvbdcp.gov.in/filariasis-faq.html.Lymphatic filariasis is a leading cause of permanent and long-term disability worldwide. People with the disease can suffer pain, disfigurement, and sexual disability. Many women with visible signs of the disease will never marry, or their spouses and families will reject them. Affected people frequently are unable to work because of their disability. This hurts their families and their communities.
malipeddi jaggarao
(Expert) 12 July 2013
Mr.Kishore
If you really love her get your doubts cleared about her fitness with the doctor in presence of her.
After all, it is your life that you should take appropriate decision. One thing everyone has to appreciate you that you did not have physical relationship though you maintained the contact for 3 long years. This does not mean that you should sacrifice your entire life if she is prone to unfit for sexual life.
Hence get your doubts cleared from the doctor. As it is emotional matter, as she is suffering already, being a loved one, do not be harsh with her. You can convince her the marriage will spoil the lives of both. Give psychological support if she is ready to accept. If she wishes to forget about the past, allow her and do not interfere in her life again. Do not give any lawyer notice. That will hurt her emotional feelings. If you are really interest put a deadline for recovery of illness. In many case hope will cure the diseased. Otherwise you tell her parents that you have done nothing wrong, you have entertained the idea of marrying her and but because of the circumstances, you are withdrawing from the idea. Do not be in tension, if you have not done anything wrong, mere threats will not turn into realities. Committing suicide is not a simple thing. If they do not listen to you for your withdrawal at this stage, leave the place for some time. She will reconcile with her fate slowly as nothing wrong has happened. Instead of dealing the matter with harsh, if you deal with the matter smoothly, I hope you will be out of the problem. But I advise you to be bold and firm. Never be volatile. Never assume that some thingbad will happen. Be positive.
K.K.Ganguly
(Expert) 14 July 2013
1. It seems, Mr. Kishore's love is conditional,
2. Any way, he can not be compelled to show unconditional love & be in support of the unlucky girl by marrying her if he does not want to,
3. As such it appears that no charge can be brought against him excepting breach of trust & against that he has suitable answer.
Dr. Jyothi Vishwanath
(Expert) 14 July 2013
Love and law have no business with each other. When you try to take help of law, there is no love and true love needs no law.
Your love has vanished for her and so you are here.
Convince her at the earliest and you go on your own way...
