Suggestion to file rcr or divorce or patch up
sourabh
(Querist) 06 April 2015
This query is : Resolved
Dear Friends,
I am married 4 years back & have 2 years kid. My wife is not coperating with me from the second day of marriage & fighting with me since then. After 2 years of marriage we got kid, thinking my wife behavior will change, but same not happened, now taking the aid of child, she fights like anything, abuses my parents on phone, do all kind of non sense activities, i tried my level best patching up but unable to do so, inspite we are staying in other city, neither my parents are staying with us,
day by day fight went to untolerable level & thought quitting my job & go to our hometown where both my parents & in laws stay, thinking some relief will be there. In hometown too, we took seperate house not involving my parents , she stayed with me for hardly 15-20 with me & 1 day fight happened & there parents came & took there daughter & kid with them in absence of me,
Now it is more than a month, where my wife neither my in laws contacted me, & they are passing wrong rumors in market blaming my parents that they have intentionally called me to hometown, i approached all of there relatives, everyone lifted there hands from this problem.
I am totally lost, not in a position to decide what should i do, shall i approach parivar paramarsha kendra, or file rcr or divorce, yes its true its very difficult to manage my wife but my child is also away from me, biggest problem is also my in-laws interference as they dont have any son, only 2 daughters, bigger one is my wife, smaller one married 2 years back & now mutual consent divorce is going for her, there family is bit financially strong & when some hot talks went between me & my in law, they say we will file dowry case on you but i know they never will do unless i approach legally, also my father in law is lawyer
Please suggest what to do, considering we are in same city
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 06 April 2015
. Involve family elders to know the root cause of the dispute and resolve the dispute amicably.
Till it happens it is advisable to file RCR and seek custody of child.
sourabh
(Querist) 07 April 2015
last 4 years, mine case is known to all elders in our society, but in starting of marriage till 2 year, my father in laws used to accept daughters fault but now simply they pass on all point of dispute on to my parents, last 1 month as said up, approached all major relatives, everyone when spoken to my father in law, he simply refused talking & relative lifter there hands,
Also as said my father in law is not a good person, 1st he is a lawyer, second he has all good repo with police, politicians & local gundas
Guest
(Expert) 07 April 2015
Since when she is living separately from you?
SAINATH DEVALLA
(Expert) 07 April 2015
Younger daughter married 2 yrs back and divorce case going on,elder daughter living separately from her husband and torturing him. What kind of a definition can I give?
The parents perform the marriages of their siblings with pomp and pleasure and start poking their nose in the matrimonial life.Can this be stopped?
Well Saurabh, Ur matrimonial life can be repaired minus parents from both the sides, involving third parties, who can counsel and guide both of U, to end differences.
My sincere request is don't run after courts spending valuable time and money. Every thing can be patched up with a sense of understanding. I am not supporting the behaviour of UR wife as per UR query, but that does not mean that U should get separated and repent later.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 07 April 2015
it is better you file for divorce . there is no future in your relation ship . mutual consnt divorce is the best option
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 07 April 2015
Try to call directly to your wife and slowly try to develop understanding.
Agree with the advise of expert SAINATH DEVALLA.
If not possible, explore the possibility of mutual consent divorce.
alexander
(Expert) 07 April 2015
I strongly approve of the advice given by Shri Devalla ji and Shri Goyal ji
Keep all your friends and relations out of what in in the Indian Evidence Act 1872 is called "PRIVILEGED COMMUNICATION" Whatever transpires between you and your spouse should remain between you and your spouse and if it does become necessary to seek outside help seek it in all humility from your parents or the parents of the spouse.
A Girl leaves her cosy home where she gets love affectuion and all comforts. God has blessed you with two children and there upbringing in the best possible manner - providing them with all possible help in their physical ,spiritual and intellectual growth should be your prime and sole aim. Properly looked after they can become eminent Doctors,Engineers, Top Civil servants, Advocates,Judges doing good to the Society and to the Country.
Pl don't misunderstand me but in the Family first comes your girl child then the male child and then your Spouse . Their safety,comfort, honour and happiness and health SHALL come First - Always and Every time. Your own comfort ease safety and Honour shall come last Always and Every time
Patch up ...PATCH UP PRONTO. There should be no ego or fault finding , Praise every good thing. After all your Spouse has brought up your kids through the most difficult period. One has to make sacrifices which alone a mother of the house can do, There is no shame in apologising for anything done wrong.
Wait for a few days to allow the ruffled feathers to smmothen out, and then approach the whole problem with a new positive perspective. Happiness of the family lies in your hands.
GO for barren legal deserts full of frustration mind wrecking tensions. I would not advise. Worship your family and you would be adequately rewarded. Think that God has sent you in this world to totally devote your self to your spouse and your two kids. Forget that somebody is rich or has clout and mafia at his beck and call. Honesty,Sincerity and truth are weapons strong enough to counter any stupid threat. Do think it over.
I too could also advise you to go for RCR/MCD etc that's not the way for gentlemen to follow. Surrender yourself to the present amd long time interests of your family
Dr J C Vashista
(Expert) 08 April 2015
I agree with experts, very well advised, proceed through a local lawyer.
T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate
(Expert) 10 April 2015
Since the latest separation hardly one month old, do not jump into a hurried conclusion now, better wait for the time to pass for another three to six months, you will observe some changes which will be conducive for resumption of your interrupted marital voyage. Any legal decision for the present will things more complicated.
Biswanath Roy
(Expert) 14 April 2015
Good advice by Learned Mr. Kalaiselvan. Follow his advice.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 07 April 2015
