Suggestions - divorce
shraddha
(Querist) 04 December 2017
This query is : Open
Hi.. I am graduate and a working women. I got married in 2014. It was my love marriage. Since the very next day from my marriage life, i started suffering by physically and mentally problems from my husband & in-law family members. After a limit from every stress, I decided to stay separate from my husband and take divorce. After leaving husband's house, its almost 3 yrs and 7 months. I also filed my divorce case in bandra Family court on last Jul'16, For this also its almost more than one and half year. My next date is on Jan'18. In between the period of divorce case, 3 to 4 notice's are send to my husband and all the time he rejected it plus he was not present in any of the hearing / date. Now my lawyer gave the statement that by on coming hearing / date if my husband is again absent then I would get one sided divorce. In which I can remarry but husband should take my permission first to remarry. Is it true or not? My husband is also demanding that he wants all the gold jewellery plus all the dresses they gave to me in marriage. Can u pls. suggest me or can you guide me... 1. the query which i asked about the one sided divorce on my favour? 2. Would it be liable that he can still demand and the court can accept it? 3. Remarry stage for me and for husband? 4. Would husband be liable to give me almony if I demand or not? Any Other points or advise from your side.
What can you suggest to me. As because of him my full career is lost. my all original documents is with him. He has also spoiled my image / character in public. Pls. give your expert advise. I have to build up my life again, plus my career.
Vijay Raj Mahajan
(Expert) 04 December 2017
First tell me is your lawyer off his nuts, after divorce if you can remarry why can't your husband remarry and why should he take your permission before remarrying, just ask your lawyer this question. I find most of Mumbai lawyers misleading their clients and misinforming them with all sort of wrong information as if they are above law of the country.
Secondly if your husband not appearing on next date of case hearing the Family Court may post for ex-parte recording of your evidence rather pronouncing any order for divorce. The divorce even if allowed by decree of divorce can be set aside by your husband by moving application under order 9 rule 13 CPC for setting aside ex-parte decree of divorce. In that case if the application is allowed your case reopens once again.
As far asking for permanent alimony and maintenance from your husband is concerned that you can ask but will that be allowed depends on your as well your husband's financial condition/status. If you both have independent income and similar financial status then you may not get any relief from the court.
shraddha
(Querist) 04 December 2017
What can you suggest to me. As because of him my full career is lost. my all original documents is with him but he is refusing it. He has also spoiled my image / character in public. Pls. give your expert advise. I have to build up my life again, plus my career as my income is only 10K and husband's income is more than 30k per month plus side income My Lawyer is now waiting for the service person to hand over the notice summons to husband personally. By the coming hearing date if he is absent then i would be allowed for one sided divorce and if he would be present then as usual he will demand for the gold ornaments and for counselling, but i don't want this any further to take any stress..
I Need ur guidance. Its too long for me to live this life with all stress.
Guest
(Expert) 04 December 2017
@ Ms. Shraddha,
So, do you mean to say, love of both you and your husband was absolutely artificial that vanished merely in a single day after marriage and you started living separately for the last 3 years and 7 months? What kind of that love was there, which steamed off immediately like camphor?
Secondly, if love failed, how your career was affected? Was that attached exclusively to your love style or husband or due to any greed?
Thirdly, if you aspire for fair dealing in your divorce case, while to cling to the valuables and clothings of your husband's side? Do you feel that it should be one sided affair in your favour only?
Fourthly, do you mean that by sharing the income of your husband, you can build up your career? If that was the criteria of love, I wonder, why did you prefer to love a guy with an income of merely Rs.30K pm! In that case, were not you wrong in not selecting some guy with income of Rs.30 lakhs pm for your love and much better career?
Fifthly, do feel that law can allow only ladies to get married, not gents, if the divorce case is decided ex parte? Would you take divorce from the other guy also, if your husband gets the ex parte divorce cancelled by filing an appeal against the order?
Better come forward with clear intentions, what exact desire you have, if you want some honest, frank and impartial advice.
.
Guest
(Expert) 04 December 2017
My God, what pricking questions Mr. Jigyasu has made from a failed-love lady!
Anyway, her analysis of the case seems to be very sharp and deep.
Guest
(Expert) 04 December 2017
Ms Shraddha,
Your desire, as you revealed through your statement, "Its too long for me to live this life with all stress," is merely a day dream on your part. Once a person gives his/her neck in the hands of some other strong and sturdy person, more particularly the almighty law on the earth, he should forget when, why and how his neck is left with or without harm.
So forget about your day dream, the necks of both you and your husband are in the hands of the courts that too gripped tightly by the advocates of the both sides.
Have patience, wait for the judgment on merits of your case.
However, if really you you can't live too long with all such stress, better make compromise with your husband, establish some sort of mutual trust and faith and develop your career with real peace of mind. Otherwise, your career has already started deteriorating and would continue to be sure after you get a stigma of a divorced wife for life to be unable to develop any reliability even with some other guy after your remarriage. If you failed to establish your faith with your first love, you cannot achieve that with anyone else in the whole life.
For failure of love, both of you can squarely be held responsible, none else.
shraddha
(Querist) 04 December 2017
WE all r aware that court makes a fair decision to both parties. its no doubt that i want everything to be in my favour only. my all original certificates including my school and degree u mark sheets etc. are with my husband for sure but i don't y he is refusing for it. w/o those documents i can't apply for further study options. i m not at all demanding any type of alimony from him. its just simple as that i want my documents and get a simple divorce from my husband. but from his side he is demanding each n every gold ornaments which was made on wedding for me which was my own.
because of these things i felt free to ask expert suggestions from you.
hope u understand it simply n suggest me.
THANK U
shraddha
(Querist) 04 December 2017
its typing mistake. "its no doubt that i don't want everthing to be in my favour only "
P. Venu
(Expert) 05 December 2017
The facts posted suggest that the querist is in revengeful mode against the husband. It is quite possible that there is another side to the story.
If the marriage has failed, all that is possible is to get the divorce through due process of law.
As to your certificates, the querist is certainly entitled to get them back; even an FIR could be lodged.
shraddha
(Querist) 05 December 2017
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Guest
(Expert) 05 December 2017
Dear Ms. Shraddha,
Once misunderstanding takes place in the mind of a person, the same start growing like mushroom as a continuous process. On sided story may not get your problem solved. Better be honest in discussing the events happened at both the sides.
So far as the FIR is concerned for documents, as advised by one expert, as per my view that can prove to be quite impracticable solution for you. Rather, that may prove to be quite harmful to your interest, if your statement is true about your documents and the documents are really not in your own custody.
That may cause your husband to be more infuriated and revengeful, whereas for the present he seems to be quite content, if his own valuables and clothings are returned to him, if you are unwilling for any patch up..
Nobody can guarantee the documents not getting vanished, if your husband prefers to destroy them after another FIR against him. That may cause more problems for you.
Rest assured, merely FIR may not ensure issue of search warrants of the house of the husband, but may give another cause for the husband to be more revengeful to make him destroy your documents. You can't establish in anyway that your academic qualification documents are in the custody of your husband.
One way story may not settle your issues. Discuss with some perfect family laws expert, but with total honesty about the events of both the sides and find some amicable solution to your married life, instead of getting that totally ruined once for all.
Rest all depends upon your own wisdom.
Guest
(Expert) 05 December 2017
Hopefully, the querist would prefer to come forward with clear facts of the case, if she wants to get appropriate guidance or help from the experts. Of course, Mr. P. Venu's advice about FIR for certificates is likely to flop.
P. Venu
(Expert) 05 December 2017
I am not the querist nor had I sought any suggestion from Dhingra/Jigyasu.
Guest
(Expert) 05 December 2017
@ Mr. P. Venu,
YOUR POST WITH STATEMENT, "I am not the querist nor had I sought any suggestion from Dhingra/Jigyasu." IS QUITE UNCALLED FOR ON ANY VALID GROUND" on whatsoever you may think.
Instead of aiming your cudgels against me, it would have been better to convince the querist how your advice about FIR would help her to get her documents back from her husband.
HOWEVER, WITH REFERENCE TO YOUR POST with a question mark about my previous post, would you like to clarify:
1) Did I address my suggestion to you to amend your advice about FIR in reply to the supplementary query of the querist? OR
2) Is there any ban to suggest the querist that the advice of such and such persons may not suit her? OR
3) Do you feel that you have any right to dictate your terms on any other expert that no reference to your advice be given while addressing the querist, if such adv ice is felt to be wrong and misguiding? OR
4) Would you be happy to find a querist, who comes to this forum with full faith to get right guidance, gets fully confused with the contradictory advice of the experts, if no clarificatory post is made?
OK, I LEAVE IT ON YOU, if you make clear in what way your advice to file FIR would prove helpful to the querist.
Guest
(Expert) 05 December 2017
Mr. P. Venu,
I also take exception to your unwarranted remarks against me, as contained in your statement, "I am not the querist nor had I sought any suggestion from Dhingra/Jigyasu." I also did not address my post to you in any manner, but was addressed specifically to the querist by name just to make her aware of the pros & cons of the FIR, if she would prefer.
If found any fault in my observation, you could better have tried to convince the author of the problem as well as the other readers on merits, as against my observation.
You may or may not like, my elderly advice for you is, instead of feeling any jealousy or fostering any ill will against me, you may better foster the sportsmanship spirit within you, which may help you enhance your legal expertise and faculties also.
Guest
(Expert) 05 December 2017
What else can be expected from a lawyer, who himself would have lost his own case in the CAT, except having been infested with his false notions and assumptions and expecting from others also to follow his false notions?.
shraddha
(Querist) 06 December 2017
1. How do I get back my documents through correct way?
2. My Husband made mangalsutra for me which is with me and now he is demanding it to give him back by saying that its the sign of his mother's marriage. But I don't want to give him back. By his statement, does court accepts it?
3. My husband is rejected to take notice / summons which was send to him 3 to 4 times, so now my lawyer says that one court person will personally hand over the summons to him plus arrest warranty is taken against him. Is this process allowed after one n haly year passed from the case filling date?
Pls. suggest a way to clear my divorce soon and guide me if I am going in a wrong way to clear my divorce.
Also explain me wat is order 9 rule 13 cpc - simply.
Guest
(Expert) 06 December 2017
I am frank in my views. If your problem is real one and you want mutual settlement, there should be no element of greed in any deal between you and your husband. You must bear in mind, your husband has nothing to do with your documents. His intention may only be teaching of lesson to you for your teasing for him. Any battle is fought by both the sides, no single person's affair.
If you don't want to live with him and want some peaceful solution, better ask for your belongings in return of all his valuable goods. Otherwise, no way is left for you or your husband, except to bear with the agony and grilling of the court proceedings.
MIND IT, IN FAILED MARRIAGE CASE NOT MERELY THE BOY AND HIS FAMILY, MAY THE GIRL HERSELF MAY NOT BE MADE TO BEAR MUCH OF THAT, BUT MUCH MORE OF THE BRUNT OF THE LEGALITIES HAVE TO BE BORNE BY THE FAMILY OF THE GIRL.
Vijay Raj Mahajan
(Expert) 06 December 2017
You have been posting queries here in this forum and may be other such forums. The same queries must be asked by you from your lawyer(s) as well all who came across you and who had some legal knowledge or had experienced such failed marriage. I tell you very fankly there is no one on the face of this Earth can satisfy you with the reply to all these queries.
If I tell you ask your husband all your documents back you will tell you asked him number of times which he refused by saying he doesn't have any of these, so best course is apply and get duplicate copies of all these educational documents from the various educational institutions from where you got them.
You say he's asking back the mangalsutra he presented you at the time of marriage, tell him get a clear order from the competent court that you are supposed to return back the istridhan given by him to you at the time of marriage whether it was mangalsutra or anything else.
The Family Court has to be satisfied that the court summons we're served upon him number of times and he ignored or avoided to take them after this the court has to just move ahead ex-parte against him that's the procedure which no judicial judge can Ignore or avoid.
What is O 9 Rule 13 CPC, this the law with regard to allowing the defendant or respondent to participate in court proceeding where he was proceeded ex-parte or where ex-parte order and decree passed against him to be set aside and case reopened and to be decided on merits. How this is possible will be your next question, yes that is possible because law is made like this based on principle of natural justice that no one can proceeded unheard and equal opportunity to be allowed to both parties to present their case or defense based on this a true justice can be imparted by the judge hearing the case.
And still not satisfied, than better go in for taking paid legal consultancy because free legal consultancy can never satisfy be you or for that reason anyone.
You all consider lawyers answering free of cost are good for nothing, try the same formula with some doctor or engineer seeking free consultancy, you'll get a good reply.
Guest
(Expert) 06 December 2017
@ Vijay RaJ Mahajan,
Sir, don't you feel that the querist has posted merely a hypothetical query. Question arises, what type of love was that, which could have steamed off very easily just within one day of her marriage?
Had it been such a serious matter with her, she and her parents could not have left any stone turned and made several attempts for patch up, but both the families have been kept aside of any such dispute. Only she has taken the lead to settle the matter herself, that too solely in her favour, but still claims love marriage. Such matters are quite serious, she has not tried to contact even a lawyer to discuss her problem. She started making stories after stories and even at one time she posted something, but deleted by substituting with dots.
It clearly seems, she does not know even the abc of love, which denotes sacrifice and belief, with total absence of greed. When she claims her everything back, she wants her husband side's material belongings also to be kept with her. What is a type of love where she wants divorce, but does not want to return mangalsutra?.
Even the start of her problem was made from sharing of the income of her husband on the pretense of making career.
Nothing except greed is indicated as the style of her love with her husband!
If there is even a slightest truth in her story, in my view, even ten divorces on remarriages one after the other cannot suffice in such type of cases.
shraddha
(Querist) 07 December 2017
Mr. Jigyasu Sir as an expert you should have given me an advise or suggestion instead of pin pointing me or rather deciding yourself that i m greedy as per ur expert statement.
Guest
(Expert) 07 December 2017
Ms. Shraddha,
Advice can be given in genuine problems, not in irrational type of cases. I have not assumed anything about greed, it is base on your own description.
Even if you have some real problem, you have not been able to present the same appropriately. Be aware, it is not my fault, if you lack in expression of your problem in a convincing manner. My advice, without mincing any word and without expecting any reward from you, is with all honesty & in good faith and for your better future also. Free advice is always sincere and honest.
I very well know that honest and frank advice is never liked by anyone. So, I can also not expect even a formal thanks from you for my advice.
Contrarily, if you go go to some local lawyer of your area, you will not only be made to pay his fee for consultancy, but also be tried to be lured by his tricks to get in to his trap to easily become his source of income for future also, irrespective of the outcome of the case, if you decide to take a legal route.
You will know for yourself if you try to get consultation from some local lawyer. Rest assured, I don't give any advice for any reward, but merely on account of my habit to avert any legal disaster for the misled and misdirected lay persons.
Rest depends upon your own perception and wisdom.
Guest
(Expert) 07 December 2017
Mr. Jigyasu,
Very well stated. Very correct observation on your part. She may probably not be able to understand your advice due to "samajh ka pher" on the part of the so called love lady. Love seems to be beyond her understanding.
Guest
(Expert) 07 December 2017
@ Mr. Dhingra,
Thanks for you understanding and appreciation.
Guest
(Expert) 07 December 2017
I too appreciate your analytical capability to the extreme deepness of the things. But, one thing I can't approve on your part that is you have tried to ridicule the expert Mr. P. Venu. Hope, you can well understand that losing of case may not be due to his incapability or incapacity. Possibility of various circumstances, biases or prejudices on the part of several others can also not be overruled.
shraddha
(Querist) 07 December 2017
Thank you to all experts who gave me helpful suggestions or advice in my case. I m going through this situation but luckily I got this site to ask you all about my case details. Finally No hard feelings or wordings at last, I m Happy to get a helpful hand from you all.
Once again Thank You to all.
shraddha
(Querist) 21 February 2018
Hello once again....
My divorce case got accepted in jan'18 by the family court. Can some one please explain or guide me that how do I get my divorce papers from court. What should I do?
