Want to resolve fight between my & inlaws family
tapas gupta
(Querist) 19 June 2012
This query is : Resolved
Dear Sir/Madam,
This is with reference to yesterdays talk had between my family & in-laws family. They have took my wife forcefully by abusing my parents & me. Her Uncle is an advocate & he has shouted like any thing on my family.
reason why this happened:
1) I have took my friend to guide my wife to leave a happy married life ( My friend got angry & shouted Little, as my wife said I do not want to change my culture & will never do in future.)
2) after this talk I have ask my wife to cool down & said sorry on behalf of him, but my wife got unsensed that time, so I litlly slepped her to bring in light situation as she got very tensed. after that I said sorry so many times & resolved the matter on both mine & wife's understanding.
3) after two days my parents came for celebrating father's day, by forgetting all the past conversation had in family to resolve all the problems. that time my wifes health was not good & took her to hospital & hospitalized her for approx 2 hrs ( glucose & some injections dosed in her body to recover soon) & given 2 days medicines.
after comming back she was not in situation to work so my mother told her to take rest & relax & made healthy food for her, so that she can take medicine. she did not had food & even medicine.
next day morning I told her to do some house work, so that u'll get some fresh air & environment to recover better, given ORS & juices & food. suddenly told plz call to my father I can not stay here.
after so many times saying the same thing my mother got angry. she told I do not want to stay & i am going to call nabor, to make my call to my father. we stopped her so many times coolly & then temper increased. she shouted on my parents & on me.
4) then my father called to her father & ask him to come & discuss & then allow my wife to talk with him.
she was just telling please come & take me papa, I do not want to stay here.
We tried to stop her & suggested please be all right & then you can go & stay with your parents.
4) whole day she has not took any thing from my parents & told I'll not eat upto my father or u did not come from your office.
my parents offered so many times food & ORS but she refused. then in night 10 her father came with uncle & his sisters son.
as soon he reached to house & try to take my wife forcefully by abusing me & my parents.
he put many blames on us like biting , dowry & try to kill her daughter.
I am in tension as I want to resolve this issue without any problem.
her family is listening only one side matter & does not wants to listen why this situation came, why this happened?
Just shouting & run away is not the right solution, they need to listen, analyse & then come out to any solution.
I love my parents & my wife so much & do not want to loose anybody of them as I am only the son & husband. my parents are old & after happening this they are in big trouble & in tension.
Please help me out & guide me what I have to do?
In case they take any legal action that time also I would like to be ready to resolve to keep away from this situation.
Looking for your kind response.
Shonee Kapoor
(Expert) 19 June 2012
Try to resolve the differences with mutual discussion and all. Getting into courts is going to create problems for you in future.
Regards,
Shonee Kapoor
harassed.by.498a@gmail.com
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 19 June 2012
You are referring to a discussion between your family and perhaps expects the experts here to keep spying on the household.
You are not describing what is the root of strife. You are not wanting what type of change you wanted to develop in yur wife and why did you have to take her to YOUR FRIEND.
What is the cultural barrier your wife does not wish to bridge. How do you say that she alone is wrong and you are nothing but correct. This vague description gives a strong suspicion that your way of life is wrong and her is peraps correct and you do not want the details to surface.
Your broken and grametically incorrect English indicates that you even slapped her in presence of your friend.
There was something in the said meeting that you felt life feeling sorry and she felt like not agreeing.
When during sickness she does not want to take even medicines given by your parents then don’t you think they may have done something to earn the hatred. When she is persistently reuesting her father to be called and you are adamant to the extent that she is forced to gatecrash and walk into other family. This clearly indicates that your family is not allowing her access to telephone as well. (this is your own description)
When she is going to neighbours you stopped her and forced her to shout. It indicates that she was probably stopped by bodily force by you people so she could not walk out and by her shouting you got sceared and only then called her paretns.
Then also only your father spoke and not allowed here to speak as apparent from your description and expected her father to come and you took no action to drop her at parent’s house.
THIS IS APPARENT FROM YOUR DESCRIPTION WHEN YOU WIFE OR HER PARENTS SIT BEFORE A POLICE OFFICER AND RECORD STATEMENT THEN MORE DETRIMENTAL FACTS WILL SURFACE
Better follow what Mr Kapoor stated.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 19 June 2012
Well this is quite common in every household in India.
So you have to keep patience and work out strategies to avoid conflict.
This seems to be an ego clash and proper counseling should resolve this.
tapas gupta
(Querist) 20 June 2012
First of all thank you so much for your kind response. I agreed with all three of you & from my end I'll try to resolve this matter on both side mutual understandings. As Mr. Berman said there is an ego clash & he is perfectly right. I can compromise & I'll try to convince my parents to stop unusual comments, but the same also I am expecting from other side. I did not slap my wife in front of my friend first. Also I slapped only to bring down my wife in normal condition, as she was out of sense that time. She was telling I do not want to give respect to your parents & she will do things as per her only & if required then reply to my parents in harsh manner.
I told her that give me one more & last time to resolve this matter & tell to me whatever you want to my parents, as there may be some ego problem between them.
Actually she is not having problem with me & even we are very close to each other, but she do not want to stay more with my parents.
But in other side I want to stay with her & my parents, as my parents are very old. Now you suggest what I have to do now.
Actually this is because of ladies mentality, they do not want to forget any old issue, which happened in past. If both side agreed to compromise on their fault & agrees to avoid the same in future then definitely this situation can avoided. Can you please help me how I can do that?
tapas gupta
(Querist) 20 June 2012
Please respond, I want to resolve this problem without any interference of court
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 21 June 2012
If she does nto wish to live with your parents you hve no choice except going to Jail (with parents) on false (or true) dowry case. Your description of facts indicate Domestic violence. When he is heard by an authroity the said indication may beome fact.
tapas gupta
(Querist) 21 June 2012
Matter is resolved,as me & my wife resolved this issue. we do not want to separate & want enjoy our family life again.
Now the other matter has to be resolved by both the families.
