meenal : Can you do anything that other people can’t?

live and let live: Sure, I can read my handwriting.

bhabi ji: Why are you home so early?

pandit abhay: My boss told me to go to hell.

ARUP UNCLE-What is the difference between dava (medicine) & daru?

SARVESH: dava is like girlfriend that comes with expiry date.
Daru is like wife, jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi…

I LOVE YOU
Send this msg to 10 girls n win a free trip to
Ur nearest police station in luxury jeep
Rahena Khana and body masaaz free.
U will surely like it.

Suggest by KIRAN KUMAR,

the expert!

bhabi ji : Chalo na car me kahin ghumne chalte hai, aur car me drive karungi.

kushan sir: Agar tum car drive karogi to jayenge car me, ayenge akhbaar me…

Ravan had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman…
You have only 2 eyes but you sight every woman…
Now who is Ravan?

repeted-

Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahi sir.
Angry boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho, Meri taraf dekho.

 telegram to husband :

Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
reply telegram:

Don’t take any chances.

Burn the body and bury the ash.

Gabbar:

Aare o sambha!

yeh joke padhnewala insaan hai ki bandar?

Samba:

Sarkar agar joke padhkar

 apna joke bhi post kare toh insaan

nahi toh bandar.

Jaani…pandit abhay................

 Jin toofanon mein logon ke

aashiyane udd jaate hain,

Unn toofanon mein

hum apne underwear sukhaate hain.

Do you know how to LAUGH others ?

---   NO.

Post jokes

---   POSTED.

arup uncle k chasma,

uske andar se jaakti aanken,

upar se hoton pe chatur muskaan,

fir aise jabbab ,

wallah ,

in sab ko milaya jaye,

to ye-

sharb hai ,sharab hai, shrab hai.

wow joks are jokes!good all!

INSTALLING HUSBAND

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a
distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in
the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0..

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable
programs such as NEWS 5..0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system..

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Mrs. X
__________________________________________________________

Reply   from the IT Technical support Guy  

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download
Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1..0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband
1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the
Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law
1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize
control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0
program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband
1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and
performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot-Sexy Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!