I want to take a divorce. Had been living separated since 2007. Independant financially as i have a good job. Emotionally also separated, because it was my choice to get rid of ties with him and take up a job.
My story line of the past.
It was a love cum arranged marriage, as i married my cousin. He was a long distant cousin, and we met during family functions once a while. But eventually liked each other and elders decided that we marry. But things went wrong after i got married. Since he was a long distant cousin, i did not know his way of living. He had the habit of being friendly with his female secretaries, to the extent of having them with us in all our family matters. Even my kids' name was chosen by one of his secretaries!!! I did not like this, i confronted. It caused a rift between us. I believe he had affairs too., though i do not have a solid proof to present now.
Another issue was that i had completed my PG by then and wanted to pursue my career. Though there were no restrictions, being a businessman, he wanted me to be a house wife and take care of his and his family needs. He did not want me to be involved in his office matters either, as it was a family business and he had his own reasons for not involving me into it, mainly he felt that i would interfere in his interaction with females working under him. I tried a lot to convince to get into a job, but even by job applications were burnt by him.
I tried commiting suicide once, but was saved and later got lot of scoldings from all the family members, including my parents. I was depressed and lost all my self confidence, did not have anyone to share my feelings with. But again, i had only option of fighting for a job on my own.
Finally was given an option to pursue my studies!!! ... so i registered my PhD. I had to relocate to another city for that, but he was not willing to relocate. I moved in with my kid, felt relieved that am out of the junk place. To take care of kids' expenses, a franchise business was dumped into me, by force, without my willingness. So had to manage both business as well as my PhD at the same time. He used to visit us once in a month. Endured this life for 5 years. During the business phase also, he has abused me in front of female staff working. I believe he just want to show off to other females that his wife is a doormat.
On completion of my PhD, i took up a job and moved to another city. This was opposed by him, but this time i was very strong in my decision and sold of the the franchisee business and handed over all the money to him. After that he has never tried to support us financially. I never asked him either.
He visits kid once in three months or so. But i dont have any binding with him, though i did not stop his visits until last year. Last year, i wanted to file for a mutual divorce, for which he did not agree. I discussed with few advocates, they mentioned that though i am living separated for the period of 6 years now, it is not considered as a pure separation period as he has been visiting us once in three months. After knowing this, i dont allow his visits anymore.
I want advice on how to get a divorce. I want a divorce based on 'incompatibility and irreconcilable differences', is it possible??? I dont have proof on his affairs. I dont want my daughters to get disturbed during the divorce process, though they are aware that i want to take a divorce. How do i proceed? Please advice on how to file for a contested divorce.
One advocate advised on filing a domestic violence case, so that eventually it will turn to mutual consent divorce, but i am not for it. Since i had already lived on my own for 6 years, I want to be straight forward, i am just asking for a legal separation. Please advice.
