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(Guest)

Torture by wife

The wife of a boy aged 42 known to me, is torturing his husband with abusive language, does not permit him to talk to his aged parents, or his brother or his sister, even over phone, totally neglects cooking - even though he goes to her school regularly in time to work as a teacher, and to the music class where she and her daughter are learning music.  Tortures his husband while he is busy in office with continued phone calls, complaining of some illness or the other, and if he is busy and is not able to answer, she makes a big fuss of it, alleging that he has no affection towards her. Doctors referred her to a psychiatrist  and she is getting treatment for the past 6 months - but no improvement.. She picks up very silly issues, and shouts so loudly that the residcents of all the flats in that apartment can hear. She runs amuck, kicks household items, etc - all only in the house, that too when her husband is there. His efforts to provide her with all the comforts and luxuries of life have had no effect.  She does not also allow him to stay seperately, even though he is ready to meet all her domestic expenses. She threatens to commit suicide after poisoning the only child aged 9.  She does not heed to her own mother and her sister also.  The husband is afraid that if he moves a petition for separation, it will provoke her to commit something untoward, and so, he is in a fix.  If he stays away for a few months, and consequent on this if she resorts to any self injury, will this affect the husband? Will the Police consider it as intimidation by the husband, even though he is known to be too soft and too submissive a person?



Learning

 22 Replies


(Guest)

This is happening because the psychiatrist treatment is not effective.

 

So change the psychiatrist.

 

Or she should take the recommended medicines regularly.She may be skipping taking them.

 

Let the wife learn meditation also,since allopathic drugs only suppress the disease;not cure it.Once the medicines are stopped,she may be back to sqaure one.But meditation will cure her mind from the very roots.She can meditate as well as take medication,for a faster healing.Make her join some meditation classes.

 

It seems the husband is only providing her money and medicines,but no love and attention.So he avoids her calls.When any person is under such a treatment,usually the doctors also advise his family members to be very loving and attentive towards the patient.

The husband may be submissive,but he may not be paying attention(A typical trait of Indian men...Huh!)

 

By the way...Who are you?You said you know the husband,and you are criticising his wife,a patient,looking forward to get this husband divorced.

You have also removed your profile,so that your gender is not revealed.

If  I am not wrong, you are a girlf friend of this lousy caretaker,ie,husband who is looking forward to misuse this opportunity to get this man divorced and become his 2nd grade wife

 

So better come out and declare who you are!

If you are really his GF,I will ACTUALLY PRAY TO GOD that you MUST be the next person to get the same disease this poor lady has,so that you are also kicked out by another woman

 

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     17 February 2011

@ Author

Few options worth patience;

1.      Probably a change of environment as in change in city and this ‘friend’ of yours giving more company as in more time to her may help to remove her loneliness / isolation which she vents on all in sundry.

2.      Probably seeing her education background read with any past working experience and inclination to move out from home for say just for few hours a day say as in away from mundane homely chores if encouraged as an alternate to daily brick bats may help the lady and having harmony in their home. May be tried out now that the kid is 9 yrs. old.  

3.      Joint counseling of both couple by psychiatrist may give her sense of support / togetherness as she may be feeling left out asin alone in such sessions.  

Very unfortunate for both and for the child this briefs is all about, however legal remedy at this juncture may aggravate the so called leftover harmony and she may go from bad to worst. More time is required in such situations probably……….

4 Like

What's in a name (Director )     17 February 2011

 

Member seems to be a retired person, so even if member is a woman, it is unlikely that she will be a girl friend of XYZ. 

subramanian (retired)     19 February 2011

I really pity at the gentleman who has initiated this topic. I find that he has initially given his name and profile, but has subsequently  deleted the details, perhaps because he is afraid that the lady who is said to be a psychiatric, and who threatens her husband of committing suicide and giving poison to her own child, should not happen to see the name of the person who has initiated this topic.  He has said that he wants to stay away for a short period, hoping to see some improvement in his wife's behaviour, but is afraid that this seperation (not judicial separation) may provoke his contangorous wife because it appears she wants HIM for her torture.

His main question is. In case his wife commits a self injury provoked by his pemporary staying away, will the Police attribute it to an intimidation by the husband? This question can be answered only by those who are thorough with IPC and Crpc. Probably he can request his father in law, mother in law or some senior member of his wife's parent family to come and stay with him permanently, to ensure his child's safety, even though this will not save him from his wife's abuses and torture.


(Guest)

I guess you are this same "gentle"man who has come back with a new ID to defend him.

If not, I apologize.

Tell this "gentle" man to let his son "grow up",ie,solve his problems like a man,not like a kid who runs to his cajoling parents saying "Mummy mummy meri biwi mujhe tang karti hai".

Ask this gentleman,this so called gentleman if his own child had become insane,would he have been writing to LCI to get rid of him?


(Guest)

Also,if this gentleman's own real sister or daughter had become insane,would this gentleman have liked that her husband is finding ways to get rid of her?

Doesn't your 42 yr. old "baby" handle his problems at his workplace himself?Or do you come to his office to talk to his boss & colleagues to solve his problems?

Why don't you have any compassion for your ill daughter inlaw who is so ill?How can you say she tortures him?She has already lost her mental balance.So how will she realise this?

Perhaps her mental balance has been lost because your son is not giving her adequate attention,remains aloof,and like a typical Indian husband thinks he has done enough by taking her to a doctor.More so when he has parents who cannot teach him that a man also has to be a loving husband,rather than just being a caretaker.Even Tajobs India advised you something above.But you don't take that advice.

 

I advise you coopertate with your bechara son in getting his wife treated and also give her a lot of love.If there's any horomonal imbalance,get that also treated.

Otherwise God will punish you by making your daughter or sister insane and dumping her in your house,followed by your son inlaw's/brother inlaw's wedding,where you will do the work of a decorator.

 

Moral of the story-Let your son grow up and handle his problems independently.Stop coochicooing him now.Enough of it!

1 Like

What's in a name (Director )     19 February 2011

How one can know this retired man is father of the son about whom he is talking about?. 

In some other thread in response to my reply, the same lady has talked things which I am not able to make either head or tail. 

First she said the querist  is  a GF of the person she is talking about. 

I had to point out that the person is retired and in all probability may not be GF as she has understood.

Then she says that the retired person is that "gentle man" and has come with new ID

Then she  said he is father of the person he is talking about. At the same breath she says she is sorry if she has misunderstood. So why one has to make such wild guesses?

 

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     20 February 2011

@ What's in a name

 


Observation is as good as mine !

 


You have been polite with words and actually thy name is called a intellectual masturbation; wherein some people get easily intimidated with big words over the internet and actually when talking to someone we aren’t really connecting and we aren’t really having a conversation we are more contesting against each other thus this is apt way to put in right perspective hijacking of threads with their intellectual masturbation.

 


Right or wrong general public ............ on a personal note to seek refresh this weekend in retrospect to where we want to head towards weekdays.....................

 

Amen

1 Like

(Guest)
Originally posted by :What's in a name
"
How one can know this retired man is father of the son about whom he is talking about?. 

In some other thread in response to my reply, the same lady has talked things which I am not able to make either head or tail. 

First she said the querist  is  a GF of the person she is talking about. 

I had to point out that the person is retired and in all probability may not be GF as she has understood.

Then she says that the retired person is that "gentle man" and has come with new ID

Then she  said he is father of the person he is talking about. At the same breath she says she is sorry if she has misunderstood. So why one has to make such wild guesses?

 
"

 

 

Whatever I say, I will say,if I feel strongly about it.How are you concerned?Or why should you even be concerned?

You mind your own business,if you have anything better to do,instead of following all my replies,analysing them  deeply and commenting upon them one by one,further showing your frustrated,highly egoistic traits.

In the other thread "How to prove streedhan is in matrimonial home" you very well know who  I was referring to,when I talked about a wife selling jewellery,her husband filing divorce case,she contesting it,an LCI member craving for attention by indirecetly saying that she's a great teacher,and her students like her,etc.

Don't act smart with me  :)

 

I can write more,but do not want to waste my energy on someone like you.

Lastly anyone reading this author's thread can conclude that this gentleman (retired) is definately the father or uncle of the man in question.Even if he's not the father,he is of his dad's age(retd).I talked to him in that context.This is simple common sense.I hope you have understood.Or still no?

@ tajobs

 

She may be polite for you.So you celebrate her politeness.

 

What's in a name (Director )     20 February 2011

@ Meenal

Are you a mind reader? No I do not very well know of anything you talked about and that too in bold letters.

Coming to He or she as written in your last sentence to Tajjobs, you do not clearly know what s*x  I belong to, simply becuase my name does not reveal it.

Moreover, maligning someone, anyone , just because he or she shares personal informaiton on this plat forum to my mind is not ethical. Here every other person shares their personal information to get some advice. 

Hence I refuse to take any provocation and ask you to go ahead and do wahterver you want to do. 

Coming to following you,  I do not follow a particular person, but follow a thread of my interest .And when I follow a thread I do reply a thread accroding to my capacities and understanding. 

I do not find further merit in your posting for further comments.

 

 


(Guest)

Dear WIAN

 

I am trying to PM you for a long time.But unable to do so.

 

I have asked another LCI member to send you my message.It will reach you by today.

Yes you are right.We all come here to share our problems.I agree.

I admit I was bit unethical.But it was in reaction to your statement in the other thread "SIFF people tackle all those wives who exaggerate about their jewels",ie,this is what you meant.So naturally I also got angry and reacted like this,because it hurts to comment upon someone who's already broken because of unbearable injustice.Hope you understand.

Now,lets end this argument now. 

 

Have a good day to you!  :)

 

subramanian (retired)     20 February 2011

Oh God. Please give patience to the members of this forum to listen to others and suggest remedies if possible and REFRAIN from personal attacks. I again read the original posting line by line. It says, the lady goes to school regularly, goes to music class regularly, etc. but only when she is inside her own house, she frowns upon her husband for reasons best known to her. The boy appears to have love and affection towards his wife, but is unable to put up with the torture, evidently of a severe nature.  To me it appears, he has no other go,  but to blame his stars, quit his job if necessary, and concentrate only on curing his wife, either by admitting her in an appropriate hospital and being in her bedside throughout, and if possible taking the help of the lady's father, and mother if they are willing.  

 .


(Guest)

For which problem is she undergoing treatment.Please tell us the name of exact illness.Then something more appropriate can be opined.

subramanian (retired)     20 February 2011

Oh God. Please give patience to the members of this forum to listen to others and suggest remedies if possible and REFRAIN from personal attacks. I again read the original posting line by line. It says, the lady goes to school regularly, goes to music class regularly, etc. but only when she is inside her own house, she frowns upon her husband for reasons best known to her. The boy appears to have love and affection towards his wife, but is unable to put up with the torture, evidently of a severe nature.  To me it appears, he has no other go,  but to blame his stars, quit his job if necessary, and concentrate only on curing his wife, either by admitting her in an appropriate hospital and being in her bedside throughout, and if possible taking the help of the lady's father, and mother if they are willing.  

 .


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