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Mint (none)     01 November 2013

Internet infidelity

We got married in India and are currently in US. We have a 6 yr old son who is a cencer survivor.

I found out last year that my so called 'wife' is having a romantic affair on the internet with her childhood sweetheart and sends him messages and calls him. I am very sure I dont have doubts or imagining .

We are planning to return back to India for good.I will be filing for divorce. 

I was wondering if anyone who has the knowledge or experience can help me with any of these questions:

1) Is affair on internet considered infidelity? Do Indian courts consider Infidelity during the division of property and maintenance grant to the wife?

2) Can they go after my Mom's and unmarried sister's property as sister is still part of our family?

3) Do Indian courts have authority over my back accounts in US?

I heard that there is a law that says that the custody of a son above 5 years is typically granted to the father. Dont know if this is a myth or reality.

Thanks



Learning

 11 Replies

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     01 November 2013

Infidelity that too over internet cannot be a ground for divorce.  For the grounds for divorce the accusation of incest and illicit s*xual relationship should be substantially proved or else the ignominy the respondent would have been subjected to would have a worse impact resulting into dismissal of the petition for divorce. About property of mom and sister, as you have mentioned it to be their own property, your wife cannot stake a claim over it and for that matter in your own property too.  If maintenance amount is ordered and remain unpaid, on proof by your wife about the source through which this can be made good, the court may write to Min of Ext Affairs to arrange to recover the money from your foreign sources through concerned Indian embassy, destitute women can avail of such facilities through court.

Mint (none)     02 November 2013

Thank you for the reply. How is an infidelity case typically proven in court? I mean, what are the valid forms of evidence?

Thanks

Mint (none)     02 November 2013

Thank you for the reply. How is an infidelity case typically proven in court? I mean, what are the valid forms of evidence?

Thanks

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     03 November 2013

1) Is affair on internet considered infidelity? Will not survive as a legal basis for divorce. Can help to some extent as cruelty towards you.

 

Do Indian courts consider Infidelity during the division of property and maintenance grant to the wife? If the divorce is filed by you for her fault and is granted, maintenance will be impacted in your favor.

 

 

2) Can they go after my Mom's and unmarried sister's property as sister is still part of our family? NO!

 

3) Do Indian courts have authority over my back accounts in US? Indirectly, to the extent of calculating your income potential and life style. 

 

I heard that there is a law that says that the custody of a son above 5 years is typically granted to the father. Dont know if this is a myth or reality. Don't know details but I think it is a case-by-case situation.

 

Why not file for divorce in US? Will be faster.

Thanks

Mint (none)     04 November 2013

Thank you Samir for the reply. The reason I dont want to file in US is because the family law in US in my State does not consider infidelity (it is a no fault state). Which means, a typical case will be resolved with 50% property division and equal child custody and sumptuous maintenance.

In my situation, this will help the so called wife to grab all this, go back to India and have fun for the rest of her life with the other guy and also ruin my son's future if she has equal custody. 

My son is a cancer survivor and not healthy. He will be neglected for sure and I do not ever want this to happen. I was trying to avoid coming back to India so I can continue living with her. Although i feel tortured, at least my son can live happy and not be torn with the divorce. However, she is adamant to return back. She dosent admit that the reason to return is because of her love affair (obviously !)  but says she want to see her family. 

I am sure she is desperate to meet her lover as soon as she lands in India and the rest of the wilderness is a definite based on her present behaviour. The proof of burden is on me. Someone by name Kalaiselvan replied to it  (illicit physical contact) but I have no clue how that can be proved..

I dont think proving in court about such physical contact is rocket science and I am sure someone might have done it in the past with some resources. Anyone with a specific feedback on this will be helpful not just me but I believe many other men and women suffering out there.

Thanks

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     04 November 2013

Interesting. I am not an advocate but here's my two cents feedback:

I know that U.S. Family Laws are state-specific. However, it is important to note that property laws in India may conflict with Family Laws, when it comes to foreign Judgments. For example, a U.S. Court may grant a divorce and there are ample judgments where those have been accepted by Indian Courts. But I do not think that the same will apply to property title assignment, even if it is part of the divorce decree. No foreign court can decide the ownership of a property in India. It would be compromising state sovereignty to allow that! There may be exceptions where both are U.S. citizens and the dispute is solely between the two parties and no Indian citizen has staked a claim to the property. Even in such a situation, the foreign decree would have to be ratified by a Indian Court to make it kosher. So if both of you are not U.S. citizens, you can argue that the U. S. court is out of jurisdiction to issue property division order... Will part of the decree, only to the extent of the granting of the divorce be applicable? IF YOU CHECK THE ANSWERS TO ALL THE ISSUES RAISED HERE AND IF THEY FAVOUR YOU, THEN GETTING A DECREE IN THE U.S. WOULD BE MORE APPROPRIATE. As for alimony, you can always raise the defense in India when she files for maintenance based upon the U.S. decree  that the U.S. court granted alimony on the assumption that you are working in the U.S. Circumstances have changed, so... This happens all the time. You will not be the first facing this situation. I AM ONLY RAISING POSSIBILITIES. I DO NOT HAVE DEFINITE ANSWERS AND I AM NOT AN ADVOCATE.


As for infidelity and other such allegations, you need SOLID proof. If Internet affair is considered infidelity, then I think that 50% of spouses these days who are computer-literate would be guilty of infidelity! However, physical contact or flirting is a whole different ball game. The easiest way to prove this is to retain a professional private detective. One who is licensed. Then have him file an affidavit in Court with all his evidence, such as photos, video recordings, etc. bring him as a witness and then tear her defenses apart. If he is not licensed, then you are breaking the law by doing so. Professional detectives are very busy these days on matrimonial cases.


Mint (none)     06 November 2013

Thanks Samir.What you are saying may apply if we were Indian citizens and I had property in India.

 

We both are US citizens and the marriage took place in India. Your point about jurisdiction of courts bring up a very interesting point.Most of my saving are in US.  Do Indian courts have any ruling/authority to disperse funds in my accounts in US during divorce? Even if they do, does she have to come to US and file divorce again to claim the money? Approaching ministry of ext. affairs may be an option for her but in this case, she cheated me. Not the other way round....so basically not a destitute woman !

 

 

As for filing cases like 498a and domestic violence, none of the offences were ever committed. However, I am thinking of getting a written consent from her that the 2 never happened before coming to India (wish me luck !) so she wont try to misuse the law. Does getting such consent make sense and possibly worth the effort? Anyone has a knowlegeable or experienced opinion?

 

 

Thanks

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     06 November 2013

if both of you are U.S. citizens then you are barking up the wrong tree and there are additional facts which need to be considered:


a. Were you both U.S. citizens at the time of the marriage? Were you a U.S. citizen at the time of the marriage but not she?. Was she but not you  a U.S. citizen at that time?  You seem to a well-read person, so go through the Indian Penal Code. There is a whole section there for crimes committed by foreign citizens and limitations of jurisdictions of the Indian Courts. If she is also not an Indian citizen, the jurisdiction at this time would be limited. If at the time of the marriage or just before (to take care of dowry allegations) you both were U.S. citizen, then you have nothing to worry in India. In any event, the allegations if any are to be made, would be on foreign soil. 


I am not saying that you have committed any crime, but procedural grounds of jurisdictional limitations would be your first line of defense.


Like in U.S., in India too, a private party cannot condone a crime. That  is the sole prerogative of the Court and the Public Prosecutor (the equivalent ot the U.S. Attorney at the Federal level and the District Attorney at the state level in the U.S.). That said, some crimes in India can be "compounded" by the victim but some require Court permission for them to be compounded. You need to read on these sections in the IPC to know if DV and 498 can be compounded by her. Even if you get a consent from her on a privately signed document, absent a Court blessing, Indian or U.S., she can always claim that she was coerced into the consent and file a case anyway. A consent without Court sanction is therefore a worthless piece of paper, nothing more. So do not get too excited even if she gives you one.


With your current status as both U.S. citizens living in U.S. all along, I doubt that the Indian Courts can assert jurisdiction of any kind other than the remote possibility of the time just before your marriage if she was not a U.S. citizen and dowry is alleged.  Then that would constitute the commission of a crime on a Indian citizen on Indian soil. Whether jurisdiction of Indian Courts would survive post-acceptance of U.S. citizenship is a technical detail you need to consult an expert.  My gut feeling is that she is not that smart or knowledgeable. If she was, she would have approached the authorities in the U.S. to allege domestic violence and let the District Attorney pursue the case against you. It would come free of cost and really get you into a LOT of trouble. Now, the Indian Courts are going to ask why she did not file a complain there especially when no monies are required to approach the DA's office. That would be your defense too here if the case goes that far.


In general, legal expertise is hard to come by in India. You could not have got better advice from an advocate here then the one I have given you. :)There are some brilliant advocates practicing in High Court and the High Court Judges are ultra-brilliant almost making up for the void in the legal profession in general. There will be plenty of advocates to give you the usual run-of-the-mill advice. GOOD LUCK!!

Mint (none)     07 November 2013

 

Samir, We both became US citizens many years after marriage. So, at the time of marriage, we were Indian citizens and the marriage occurred in India.We both have OCI.  I spoke to a couple of lawyers and was told that I can file divorce in India as the marrriage took place in an Indian jusridiction.I hope they are right.

 

 

I have been talking to many lawyers in India and got the typical run-of-the-mill advise exactly as you mentioned. Tired now, I may end up self representing myself.

 

 

I will search for the sections of Indian penal code as you suggested. ....Thanks

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     07 November 2013

Foreign divorce decrees of even Indian citizens are honored by Indian Courts but like any other decree can be attacked. There are numerous judgments on this topic and a search on www.indiankanoon.org will yield some positive results. The attack can be blunted if the party attacking it was also present or could have been present at the hearing of the foreign divorce proceeding. But you are right that the issue is not that simple given your properties in India. If your wife gets a good advocate, he will simply get the divorce proceeding in India thrown out at the threshold and ask her to initiate one in USA.

SAI VIKRANTH   28 February 2019

Mam,

         You can get divorce under the ground of cruelty but you have to prove using messages,texts by your husband.At present there were no laws in India related to Internet infedility.Proving lies upon you.


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