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Subhomoy Das (Retail Manager)     20 August 2011

Self respect / dignity

HI TO ALL: THIS IS TRUE INCIDENT.

 

I`M WORKING IN A MNC AT A METRO CITY IN INDIA. OUR DIVISIONAL BOSS IS A LADY 43 YRS OLD MARRIED . HER NAME IS Ms. Y (name changed). WE ALL KNOWS IN OUR OFFICE IS THAT Ms. Y IS OPEN MINDED, STRIAGHT FORWARD PERSON NORMALLY HELP TO ALL. BUT SHE IS ALSO VERY IMPATIENCE, RUDE, SHORT TEMPERED LADY. IF ANYONE MAKE MISTAKES ( we human beings do make mistakes) SHE SHOUTS ON HIM/HER VERY RUDELY IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. SHE HUMILIATES / INSULTS TO ALL IN SUCH A WAY THAT THE PERSON ON OTHER END FELT VERY DEPRESSED, DEMORALISED AND FIND NO INTEREST TO WORK FOR NEXT FEW DAYS. WE HAVE A LADY COLLEAGUE WHO WORKS AS A PROJECT COORDINATOR IN OUR OFFICE. HER NAME IS Ms. X (name changed) AGED 27 yrs MARRIED. FEW DAYS BACK MAY BE DUE TO SOME MISTAKES MADE BY Ms. X SHE WAS HUMILIATED, INSULTED, IN A RUDE MANNER IN FRON TOF EVERY STAFFS BY OUR BOSS Ms. Y. NOW WE ALL FELT THAT WHATEVER MISTAKES IF ANYONE DO MAKE , THIS SORT OF ACT BY OUR BOSS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. EVERYONE HAVE GOT THEIR OWN SELF RESPECT & SELF DIGNITY. OUR BOSS IS OUR LEADER. SHE MUST MOTIVATE, TRAIN THE STAFF AND HAVE A LEADERSHIP QUALITY, MUST BUILD A CONFIDENCE IN HER TEAM RATHER THAN HUMILATE/INSULT TO OTHERS. MY POINT OF QUESTION IS NOW:


1. HAD OUR BOSS WOULD HAVE BEEN A MALE ( say Mr. Y) AND HAD HE SHOWN THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOUR WITH Ms. X , THEN I`M 99% SURE THAT Ms. X WOULD HAVE LODGE A COMPLAIN AT THE POLICE STN CHARGING PHYSICAL / SEXUAL HARRASSMENT AT WORK PLACE. HOWEVER NO SUCH PHY /SEX HARRASMENT HAVE TAKEN PLACE EVEN BY Ms.Y ALSO.

BUT AS THE JOB IS MORE NECESSITY THATS WHY Ms. X HAVE TOLERATED QUITELY ALL THIS IMMERSING HER OWN SELF RESPECT / SELF DIGNITY. BECAUSE HER SERVICE IS HER NECESSITY (majboori). IF SHE COMPLAINS AGAINST HER BOSS Ms. Y , THEN Ms. X KNOWS THERE WILL HARDLY BE ANY ACTION TAKEN AGAINST Ms.Y AND HER SERVICE WOULD BE AT STAKE. SO THATS WHY Ms.X KEPT QUITE AND TOLERATED.


2. HAD Ms. X GOT THE SAME BEHAVIOUR (like she got from Ms.Y) AT HER MATRIMONIAL HOUSE FROM HER MOTHER-IN-LAW / SISTER -IN-LAW TYHEN I`M 99% SURE THAT AT THAT MOMENT Ms.X WOULD HAVE LEFT HER MATRIMONIAL HOUSE AND WENT TO HER PARENTS/GAURDIANS HOUSE AND FILE COMPLAIN OF 498A / DV ACT. SHE WOULDNT CONTINUE TO STAY AT HER MATRIMONIAL HOUSE. BECAUSE SUCH ACT AT HER MATRIMONIAL HOUSE WOULD NOT ONLY LOST HER SELF RESPECT BUT WOULD INCREASE HER EGO AND STUBBORNESS. TO TOLERATE IT AND KEEP QUITE AT HER MATRIMONIAL HOUSE IS NOT HER BINDINGS( majboori). SHE CAN IMMERSE HER SELF RESPECT AT HER OFFICE BUT CANT DO AT HER MATRIMONIAL HOUSE. BECAUSE TO LEAD A FAMILY LIFE IS SECONDARY FOR LADIES NOWADAYS AND IS NOT A MAJBOORI. NAUKRI KE LIYE LADY TO OFFICE MEIN MAAR KHANE KE LIYE READY HAI LEKIN SASURAL MAIN NAHI. SELF RESPECT/ DIGNITY VARIES FROM PLACE TO PLACE FOR SUCH LADY LIKE Ms.X . ITS NOT CLEAR CUT AND TRANSPARENT.


PLEASE LET ME KNOW UR VALUEBALE SUGGESTIONS THIS POSTING IS NOT FOR THOSE MARRIED WIFES WHO ARE LEADING A HAPPY AND PEACEFUL MARRIED LIFE AT THIER RESPECTIVE MATRIMONIAL HOUSE.


THANKS



Learning

 4 Replies


(Guest)

LETS REVERSE THE MATTER.

1.LET THE BOSS BE A MALE ONE.This is not an unusual thing.There are many male who are rude  and short tempered.Women in higher positions turns to that type as many men working under her disobey her for being a women.{their so called male ego makes them like that}

2.LET  THE  WOMEN IN THE OFFICE UNITE ONE day  AND DISCLOSE HIS MISDEED BEFORE ALL STAFF AND WARN HIM NOT TO TAKE ANY REVENGE FOR UNVEILING HIM.(he should know how to  respect his female colleagues)

3.IS IT NECESSARY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF WOMEN?Marriage does not provide a licence to in laws to misbehave the bride.

U have written in such a manner that every body has a right to exploit Ms Y/Ms X??

U discussed about them ...now tell me is it necessary to make women a topic??

Subhomoy Das (Retail Manager)     21 August 2011

@ UTPALA KAUR.

I REQUEST YOU TO GO THRU THEMY POST ONCE AGAIN APPLY SOME COMMON SENSE REG WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN IN THE TOPIC. DID I EVER MENTION IN THE POST ANYWHERE  REGARDING THE EXPLOITATION OF Ms.Y / Ms. X  OR ANY OTHER LADIES. NO I DINT . FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND THE POST BETTER IN SIMPLE WORDS I MEAN TO SAY THAT THE SELF RESPECT / SELF DIGNITY OF A LADY (Ms. X) VARIES FROM PLACE TO PLACE. WHEN Ms. X WAS INSULTED /HUMILIATED AT THE OFFICE BY HER OWN BOSS (Ms. Y) WHO IS ALSO A LADY THEN Ms. X KEPT QUITE , WEPT , DEPRESSED AND TOLERATE IT.  WHAT I MEANT  TO SAY IS THAT INSTEAD OF Ms. Y HAD WE GOT A MALE BOSS Mr. Y WHO HUMILIATE /INSULTED Ms.X THEN MOST LIKELY Ms. X WOULD HAVE MADE A FALSE COMPLAIN OF SEXULA/PHYSICAL HARRASMENT AT WORKPLACE. ON THAT CASE I DOUBT WHETHER Ms.X WOULD HAVE KEPT QUITE AND TOLERATE IT WHEN SHE GOT HUMILIATED/INSULTED BY HER LADY BOSS Ms. Y.

SELF RESPECT / SELF DIGNITY OF Ms.X VARIES  FROM THE GENDER OF HER BOSS.......

 

IN THE SAME WAY HAD Ms. X WOULD HAVE BEEN HUMILIATED /INSULTED AT HER MATRIMONIAL HOUSE BY HER MOTHER-IN-LAW / SISTER-IN-LAW THEN MOST LIKE Ms.X WOULD HAVE WALKED OUT FROM HER MATRIMONIAL HOUSE AND GOES TO HER PARENTS HOUSE AND MAY HAVE COMPLAIN 498A/DV ACT. Ms.X WOULD NOT HAVE TOLERATED AND KEPT QUITE WHEN SHE WAS HUMILIATED/INSULTED AT HER OFFICE BECAUSE HER WORK PLACE IS HER MAJBOORI/ REQUIREMENT BUT HER MATRIMONIAL HOUSE IS NOT HER MAJBOORI...... TELL ME @UTPALA KAUR THAT HAD Ms.X WOULD HAVE BEEN SCOLDED IN HUMILITAED WAY BER HER OWN PARENTS THEN WOULD Ms.X WALKED OUT OF HER PARENTS HOUSE AND LODGE POLICE COMPLAIN AGAINST HER PARENTS. THE ANSWER IS NO.

SO THE SELF DIGNITY/SELF RESPECT OF A SAME PERSON VARIES FROM PLACE TO PLACE AND SITUATIONWISE. ONCE AGAIN I`M TELLING THAT MY PREVIOUS POST IS NOT FOR THOSE LADIES WHO ARE STAYING HAPPILY AND PEACEFULLY WITH THEIR HUSBAND AND INLAWS AT HER MATRIMONIAL HOUSE.

I HOPE U NOW UNDERSTAND MY TOPIC . I`M MAKING MYSELF CLEAR . I`M NOT MAKING THE WOMAN A TOPIC NOW.....


(Guest)

@Author,

1.what do the male colleagues do when the lady boss misbehaves them?Does he resign from job??

2.What does a male do when his FIL/BIL misbehaves them after inviting them to their place??

Does he keep gud relation with them or wud he allow his wife n kids to keep relation with them?No.

This is the event of one evening.If he is somehow have to live in in-laws place forever and thus misbehaved/beaten always after returning from whole day's work then what he will do??My point looks funny as a male never goes to live in their in-laws place.

But if both gender are kept in same situations then they will behave in the same way.You mentioned about women only in the first post.Didn't u?

hema (law officer)     21 August 2011

Well said Utpala Kaur. 

The people who raise such useless questions in uselss threads must go through "Visakha Vs. State of Rajasthan" judgment delivered by the S.C. in which the plight of working women has been well described.  She just not only receives the harassment equal to her male collegues but also receives special harassment reserved for women only in the name of discipline. 

Some indecent and illogical people argue that a wife has to accept physical, mental and economic abuse in matrimonial home as she received the same in parental home when she was a little girl.  When she was a little girl, her parents to inculcate discipline might have physically beaten her (even though It is wrong to inflict corporal punishment on the girls as well as boys),might have refused to give her pocket money as much as she wanted and might have curtailed her freedom as she was in childhood stage and adolescent stage and might have misused the same).  But after becoming major, if she receives such corporal, mental and economic abuse, either by the members of matrimonial home or parental home, she has got every right to invoke legal procedure.  Same is the condition with the husband.  When he was a boy, he might have received physical, mental and economic  punishment by his mother and father.  After his becoming a major if he would face same treatment by his parents or in laws or even by his wife, he has got remedy in IPC.  The necessity is to read IPC properly.  The men obsessed with Section 498-A forgot that if they received ill treatment either by his wife, in laws or by his own parents or by neighbours has got remedy in IPC.    Instead of educating themselves in IPC, they harp on try to show gender bias, which is not there in indian laws.

        


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